phyrespryte Posted November 18, 2007 Posted November 18, 2007 Usually this conversation arises because one person wants to boink the other and wants to make sure that everything is safe and good to go. Well of course in my world, things work backwards. On vacation, I got together with a friend even though a real relationship wasn't even possible (too much of a distance) and neglected to have this important conversation. Well I just did months after the fact and I'm starting to wonder if it was a bad idea. I'm still very much interested in this friend and I get the feeling he feels the same. We keep in touch through email daily and occasionally on msn, where we had 'the talk'. It was a little more informational than I would've liked it to be. He revealed that he had a habit of having flings and I shared that I tried to have a one-night stand, but the guy went all relationship-y on me. He then told me that he didn't like to talk about these things because issues with jealousy always resulted and ruined the relationship. The conversation ended pleasantly and I thought all was well. I sent him a letter a couple days ago and haven't gotten anything back. Odd considering that he always writes back immediately. So... Have I screwed things up? So many thoughts are going through my head. I had assumed that when he talked about jealousy, he meant his exes were jealous. But now I wonder if he meant it the other way around? Does it even matter? We're not dating, but we had talked about meeting up again. I worry that what I shared was a bit off-putting to him? How do I fix this, well, if there is something that needs to be fixed?
Trialbyfire Posted November 18, 2007 Posted November 18, 2007 I'm confused. What do you want from him? Someone to bop or a relationship?
Author phyrespryte Posted November 18, 2007 Author Posted November 18, 2007 Sorry about the confusion. To be honest, I don't know. I don't want to end up in a FWB kind of thing, but I can't say that I want a relationship exactly. That whole long distance thing makes it kind of unappealing. I guess I'd just like a relationship to be a possibility. This is going to sound like a mess, but I am planning on moving in the next year or so. It all depends on what kind of job I can find. I've started looking into different cities because I want to be as far as possible from where I am now. He seemed excited to find out about that and invited me to visit his city and offered to be tour guide. So getting involved with him could happen or it couldn't. That's why I'm letting this stupid conversation get to me. Not saying that I'll move there for sure, but it could happen.
Trialbyfire Posted November 18, 2007 Posted November 18, 2007 I shared that I tried to have a one-night stand, but the guy went all relationship-y on me. If I heard this from someone, I would assume that there's no chance of a relationship, that all you want is an FWB. Btw, I'm a hetero woman so there's no chance of anything with me. Shall I reword that?
Author phyrespryte Posted November 18, 2007 Author Posted November 18, 2007 Oh crap. So sorry, I'm just misreading everything lately. I see what you're saying now. I've really messed up with that one statement, haven't I? Is there anyway to fix that?
Trialbyfire Posted November 18, 2007 Posted November 18, 2007 The difficulty is that you're uncertain of what you want from him. To clarify things would basically make him feel like he's just an option, which, technically he is to you. Better to wait and see if he responds and let whatever happens, happen.
Author phyrespryte Posted November 18, 2007 Author Posted November 18, 2007 Now I'm really regretting that I told him that. I know you're not a mind reader and all, but do you think he'll write back? I've been friends with him for almost three years now, so this is kind of freaking me out.
Trialbyfire Posted November 18, 2007 Posted November 18, 2007 If you've been friends for three years, yes, I think he probably will respond. Who knows when though so it's best to put it aside and continue on. Now stop worrying about it.
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