Trialbyfire Posted November 18, 2007 Posted November 18, 2007 Total BS isn't it, hey man wants perfection but is happy to be in the untoned club. This is the type of guy that makes women more paranoid IMO. Here's another way to look at it. "Good luck with the dating scene."
wizer Posted November 18, 2007 Posted November 18, 2007 I'm dating a woman now, 4 months. And I've done well with the dating scene, usually meeting women who are attractive and slim. My present GF is perhaps 10-15 lbs overweight, but she's aware of it and she has been trying to diet and exercise lately. She keeps pushing me to get on the treadmill and stay away from the ice cream, and when she says that I pretend I just went deaf and can't hear her. We have a good laugh about it. Meanwhile she gets thinner, I get fatter and more hypocritical with each passing day.
Author bigheartkindsoul Posted November 18, 2007 Author Posted November 18, 2007 I'm dating a woman now, 4 months. And I've done well with the dating scene, usually meeting women who are attractive and slim. My present GF is perhaps 10-15 lbs overweight, but she's aware of it and she has been trying to diet and exercise lately. She keeps pushing me to get on the treadmill and stay away from the ice cream, and when she says that I pretend I just went deaf and can't hear her. We have a good laugh about it. Meanwhile she gets thinner, I get fatter and more hypocritical with each passing day. And then she'll get peed off with the fact you aren't doing anything and she is doing everything and probably find someone else!! Why should she be the only one improving, hardly right is it.
wizer Posted November 18, 2007 Posted November 18, 2007 And then she'll get peed off with the fact you aren't doing anything and she is doing everything and probably find someone else!! Why should she be the only one improving, hardly right is it. It's ok if me having a flat tummy isn't as important to her as her having a flat tummy is to both of us.
brothermartin Posted November 18, 2007 Posted November 18, 2007 It's unreasonable for sure, but why would it make a woman "paranoid"? It makes a woman paranoid because it tells her that if she gained any weight, say 20 lbs., that you might start looking for greener pastures. And she would be left with nothing but her extra 20 lbs. and a broken heart.
Trialbyfire Posted November 18, 2007 Posted November 18, 2007 It's ok if me having a flat tummy isn't as important to her as her having a flat tummy is to both of us. Wow, me over anyone else. You're very lucky you found someone who's willing to accommodate your unreasonable needs. Let's see how long she's willing to do so, after she loses weight and the honeymoon period expires.
wizer Posted November 18, 2007 Posted November 18, 2007 It makes a woman paranoid because it tells her that if she gained any weight, say 20 lbs., that you might start looking for greener pastures. And she would be left with nothing but her extra 20 lbs. and a broken heart. Well, I wouldn't. As I said, I prefer the flatter tummy, but that doesn't mean I would leave a woman, or not date her in the first place if she didn't meet my rigid double standards. As I said, I am dating a woman who has a few extra pounds.
wizer Posted November 18, 2007 Posted November 18, 2007 Wow, me over anyone else. You're very lucky you found someone who's willing to accommodate your unreasonable needs. I know! And I didn't have to look that long before I found her.
Trialbyfire Posted November 18, 2007 Posted November 18, 2007 It makes a woman paranoid because it tells her that if she gained any weight, say 20 lbs., that you might start looking for greener pastures. And she would be left with nothing but her extra 20 lbs. and a broken heart. Only if she allows herself to feel that way. It's up to her to make the healthy relationship choices and not pick someone so utterly superficial that gaining 20 lbs, is a deal breaker. Having said that, it's also reliant on health. If you're healthy and happy, fook 'em I say...
Author bigheartkindsoul Posted November 18, 2007 Author Posted November 18, 2007 Anyway back on topic. I am not overweight, its just any weight I gain goes traight on my tummy, always on my midrift. So unless I got ultra skinney on the rest of me (which I do not want) then I will always have a bit of a belly. I shall just make sure I look more at my T & A and toned legs when looking in the mirror.
Trialbyfire Posted November 18, 2007 Posted November 18, 2007 I know! And I didn't have to look that long before I found her. Once again, you're a lucky guy or maybe not. I guess we'll see what happens in another six month period. I'm guessing she's a low-esteem individual, if she's willing to put up with your hypocrisy. Yes, yes, I know you'll say she's not but that's because she accommodates your needs...
Art_Critic Posted November 18, 2007 Posted November 18, 2007 matching undies What the heck are matching undies ?.. I personally could care a less about some lumps and bumps.. One of the things that age ( over 30 ) does for you is make you realize that you are no longer in your 20's. Also.. most guys are more than happy.. ( thanking god while on our knees ) to be getting it from a hot babe anyhow to worry about a tummy... Don't worry about the lumps and worry about your health.. which you already do by exercising and eating well.
wizer Posted November 18, 2007 Posted November 18, 2007 Once again, you're a lucky guy or maybe not. I guess we'll see what happens in another six month period. I'm guessing she's a low-esteem individual, if she's willing to put up with your hypocrisy. Yes, yes, I know you'll say she's not but that's because she accommodates your needs... You're right. She's a low self esteem individual. She calls me at least a half a dozen times a day, even though I have asked her not to. She tries to see me everyday, stopping by my apartment before and after work (she works nights as a nurse). She started with the "I love yous" within a month of us going out, and would pout if I didnt say it back. Until we had "the talk", and now she tries not to say it so much. She insists on me sitting next to her in a restaurant booth..the list goes on.
Author bigheartkindsoul Posted November 18, 2007 Author Posted November 18, 2007 You're right. She's a low self esteem individual. She calls me at least a half a dozen times a day, even though I have asked her not to. She tries to see me everyday, stopping by my apartment before and after work (she works nights as a nurse). She started with the "I love yous" within a month of us going out, and would pout if I didnt say it back. Until we had "the talk", and now she tries not to say it so much. She insists on me sitting next to her in a restaurant booth..the list goes on. Good start your own thread
wizer Posted November 18, 2007 Posted November 18, 2007 Good start your own thread Maybe I'm too shy to do that.
Author bigheartkindsoul Posted November 18, 2007 Author Posted November 18, 2007 What the heck are matching undies ?.. I personally could care a less about some lumps and bumps.. One of the things that age ( over 30 ) does for you is make you realize that you are no longer in your 20's. Also.. most guys are more than happy.. ( thanking god while on our knees ) to be getting it from a hot babe anyhow to worry about a tummy... Don't worry about the lumps and worry about your health.. which you already do by exercising and eating well. on your knees or a girl on hers?? :laugh: Thanks I will try to not be so hung up about it
Author bigheartkindsoul Posted November 18, 2007 Author Posted November 18, 2007 What the heck are matching undies ?.. I personally could care a less about some lumps and bumps.. One of the things that age ( over 30 ) does for you is make you realize that you are no longer in your 20's. Also.. most guys are more than happy.. ( thanking god while on our knees ) to be getting it from a hot babe anyhow to worry about a tummy... Don't worry about the lumps and worry about your health.. which you already do by exercising and eating well. on your knees or a girl on hers?? :laugh: Thanks I will try to not be so hung up about it
Author bigheartkindsoul Posted November 18, 2007 Author Posted November 18, 2007 Yes I wear matching underwear 99% of the time, I have alot as its one of my weaknesses, I have a good body apart from that one fault, am good fun to be with, good in bed and condfident believe it or not, like to go out and do different things incl sports n stuff, nice smile, so guess i have alot going for me. Need to think & focus about all the positives instead of the negatives don't I!
Trialbyfire Posted November 18, 2007 Posted November 18, 2007 on your knees or a girl on hers?? :laugh: Thanks I will try to not be so hung up about it What I see as the underlying message from A_C, is that this is part of what makes for a mature, lasting relationship, instead of the fleeting, solely physical ones with unrealistic expectations.
Author bigheartkindsoul Posted November 18, 2007 Author Posted November 18, 2007 What I see as the underlying message from A_C, is that this is part of what makes for a mature, lasting relationships, instead of the fleeting, solely physical ones with unrealistic expectations. Yes I think you are onto somethig there, I never expect a man to be/have perfect body more interested in how he treats me, treats others, himself and how he dresses. Although I have to say I have limits anyone obease I couldn't see myself fancying plus there are the health implications and that they might not look after themselves. If someone won't look after and take care of themselves, will they take care of you and your heart?????
sb129 Posted November 18, 2007 Posted November 18, 2007 Yes I think you are onto somethig there, I never expect a man to be/have perfect body more interested in how he treats me, treats others, himself and how he dresses. Although I have to say I have limits anyone obease I couldn't see myself fancying plus there are the health implications and that they might not look after themselves. If someone won't look after and take care of themselves, will they take care of you and your heart????? Dont see why not. In fact I know that statement is inaccurate, as my grandmother was quite overweight and was a very loving person, as is my dad. He has been married to my mum for over 30 years. Being obese doesn't mean people are incapable of loving. You could say the same thing for smokers or heavy drinkers- the list is endless.
Trialbyfire Posted November 18, 2007 Posted November 18, 2007 Yes I think you are onto somethig there, I never expect a man to be/have perfect body more interested in how he treats me, treats others, himself and how he dresses. Although I have to say I have limits anyone obease I couldn't see myself fancying plus there are the health implications and that they might not look after themselves. If someone won't look after and take care of themselves, will they take care of you and your heart????? Health is tantamount. The last thing I would want is to be with a beer-guzzling, couch potato, junk food addict who believes that aerobic exercise is solely for your thumb on the remote.
Author bigheartkindsoul Posted November 18, 2007 Author Posted November 18, 2007 Dont see why not. In fact I know that statement is inaccurate, as my grandmother was quite overweight and was a very loving person, as is my dad. He has been married to my mum for over 30 years. Being obese doesn't mean people are incapable of loving. You could say the same thing for smokers or heavy drinkers- the list is endless. Oh god no I didn't mean to imply that obease people are incapable of loving thats why was why it was a question rather than a statement, as I was not sure.
sb129 Posted November 18, 2007 Posted November 18, 2007 Health is tantamount. The last thing I would want is to be with a beer-guzzling, couch potato, junk food addict who believes that aerobic exercise is solely for your thumb on the remote. I wouldn't want to be either. And I mentioned my dad was a overweight, although he does physical labour every day as part of his job, sp he isn't a couch potato either, and he doesn't drink. But BHKS Q was suggesting that people who don't take care of themselves may not look after anothers heart, which i think is an unfair inference.
Trialbyfire Posted November 18, 2007 Posted November 18, 2007 I wouldn't want to be either. And I mentioned my dad was a overweight, although he does physical labour every day as part of his job, sp he isn't a couch potato either, and he doesn't drink. But BHKS Q was suggesting that people who don't take care of themselves may not look after anothers heart, which i think is an unfair inference. I agree it was unfair, which is why I phrased it as a health issue.
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