slipping back

[love2byourz]

So my ex gf broke up with me a little over 5 months ago. Now after a huge gap and weird tension afterwards, we are talking again on the phone. it was LDR. now, i loved her truly, and she is able to give me what no one else can give me. we both have gfs, and she said its important to build up our friendship (though its so hard to be her friend, we are terrible at conversation) and just sit in silence or say some random funny things or something will happen to sprinmg up convo. but its not good conversation, though its addicting to be in contact with her. though she clearly stated we need to be friends, and i agreed, we still flirt a bit and she plays these seductive games tryiong to tempt me into wanting her again. she talks like we have a future, and she bad mouths my current gf. and says she feels something after i asked if part of her still has underlying feelings. i dunno if its just shes not quite over me and is a bit still wanting me in her life, she says shed steal me away etc, and she is the type to see right thru me and get to me like no one else can, she gets under my skin and pushes all the right buttons and knows all of this, she knows i still want her and hve it bad for her and she loves how she has control of me and i lvoe it too, i like melt and turn itno this apthetic weak lapdog wanting to be hers again when i speak with ehr. yet i dont know if shes just having me as a side thing to her gf because there in a 2 yr long term relationship but u know how people can wander off to other girls while they are already in a long term relationship. she already was still with her when we were togehter bnack in april, it was jsut we were together behind her back, and she now says she wants friendship first and maybe when were btoh single and free to be with each other we could be, but right now we cant do a repeat of last summer and hurt people. and she says its win win because were gonna be friends. yet she does these games like she has me under her spell again, and when i say stuff like im jsut blushing but you wouldnt care shes like i care. so she ACTS as if shes leading me on and she could want me, but i dont knwo if its games and she knows what shes doing and is having fun, or is being a flirty friend, or shes does secretly want me too and the friend thing was how she was feeling and is ignoring it, or doesnt give a crap and just loves the idea of flirting with me,e tc. she could liek the idea or theory of having me, btu when she gets comfortable she goes and finds other people. and she also cheated on me while we were together. and i know i cant be with her in a relationshio future wise because of course shed cheat and be unfaithful or lead other girls on, yet theres a part of me thats clinging onto this hope that she wants me and is giving obvious signs and all. she is convinced she can steal me away from my current gf, who she bad mouths, and that we wont last and that she is way better than her. shes very very cocky and confident and knows shes master of everything like she can easily manipulate or have people under her spell, but then again her feelings were real for me, yet whats going on. i want to figure out whats going on whats she feeling and where she intends this going or jsut lveos the idea of us being together etc so she fantasizes it all for us but never really wants to have me. but then again i asked what her gf has that i dont she simply and straightforwardly said "shes here, your not" as if the only thing keeping us apart is the physical distance. but then again they been together for over 2 years, its serious, though like any couple, they get into disagreements and its heaven and sometimes hell with her, so i dunno what to do, its ahrd to jsut cut her out my life compeltely because shell always be aprt of me i cant get over her its not one of those relationships. i tried everything from trying to numb myself and do other thigns in my life and date other women to move on, but through everything ive one(and i done evrything, except hypnosis) theres still udnerlying feelings, and its mutual with her cuz she said i often pass her mind at night and she thinks of me all the time, plus why would she be calling again? and flirting, and wanting to "steal em away" and sets out fantasy plans for our future as if were gonna be together, and disses my curent gf and wants me all to herself, yet she says we can only be friends and has a gf and knows she can control em and that i fall so easily to her. maybe ebcause she knows how easy i am to her, she plays with me as her toy. what are her intentions. tell me your opinions and advice, what is going on with HER whats the psychoanalysis of this situation and her?

[shewasthesun]

My thoughts? She sees that she can control you. I think that maybe she's just playing with you. She feels a sense of power over you. This is bad.

[love2byourz]

that is exactly true, but if theres underlying feelings and all what the hell?? how do i deal with this, i mean, i know whats right when it comes down to it, but theres something about ehr that i always come back and i cant just give up on her. she was like if ur afraid ill break ur heart, i wont. im liek well you did it once. shes like well i can also put it back together again. her signals tell me she wants me, but there are also ways i can totally see she doesnt care.