Koronos Posted November 18, 2007 Posted November 18, 2007 So me and my ex-girlfriend were having a horrible time staying happy, she wouldnt work, i had to pay all the bills, and did nothing but play video games constantly, the past month has been horrible for me, she kept going to the county next to where we live to "visit her mother" So i kept a close eye on her phone / text messages. I found nothing for a while, then i found a text from someone that was asking when they were going to hang out again, so i just decided to up and move and told her that this relationship was over. She wouldnt get a job, clean the house, or do anything for me anymore. My whole family can't stand her because she does nothing for me, but in all reality i love her more then anything in this world and still to this day love her. We dated for a year then split for about 8 months, got back togeather for a year and split again. I cannot stop thinking about her, i mean, its absolutly torture living everyday knowing im never gonna be with her again, i want to be with her more then anything, but i know not being with her is gonna better myself. So after we split, 2 days later shes already sleeping with another guy. She also tells a member of my family that his genetalia is huge. This REALLY got to me for some reason. I mean , for someone i love so much to say something like that to a family member was just beyond me. Then when i ask her she just lies about it and i want to beleive her so bad. I know shes lying, but in the back of my mind i dont want her to be, i want her to have a job and be happy with me. If anyone has any advice please do tell. I am in a horrible position and want something so bad that i dont need at all in my life. I have had horrible thoughts of what i might do if i ever saw that guy with her. I have had horrible thoughts about what i would do to myself. There is nothing else i can resort to. I love this girl with all of my heart, she was my first love, my first and only person to sleep with. My emotions for her run so deep. Please someone give me ANY advice you have. Thank you so much for taking time out of your life to read about my situation
Amy22 Posted November 18, 2007 Posted November 18, 2007 I understand how hard it is. But to be truthful with you it sounds like you are better off. She didn't have a job and then right after you break up she sleeps with someone and tells a family member about it with way to many details it sounds like. It doesn't sound like she has any respect for you. I don't see in your post what she did that ever made you happy. It sounds like you are just hurting now because she isn't there. Only you can decide to deal with the pain and move on, it will get better over time or you can go back to that girl and deal with the same problems and you could be in this position again in a year.
brothermartin Posted November 18, 2007 Posted November 18, 2007 From what you've said, man, I dont think you've lost much. Believe it not, you've actually gained something; freedom! But what you need now is not her, but a survival plan. So here it is: 1. Let her go. Dont talk to her, call her, txt-email or write her. Cut her out of you day-to-day completely. And dont tell anyone what you're doing with anyone that might talk to her. 2. Focus your new time on something more constructive, like work or a hobbie. Keep yourself busy so you dont have time to dwell on her. 3. Vent when you need to. But DON'T GET DRUNK. Alchohol only worsens the depressive feelings you will feel. Go to the gym or get a punching bag. It helps to have something to take your frustrations out on. 4. MEET NEW PEOPLE. From work, from people at work, or from just going out with existing friends. But try to stay away from girls you may find attractive. YOU DO NOT WANT TO REBOUND NOW. That could really wreck you. 5. This is the hardest of all: if you can, get laid. A one night stand WITH A CONSENTING ADULT will help you get over this "mystique" of her being the best you ever had. There are other fish in the sea, man. But be honest with any woman that you might get that far with upfront. No games, no bulls**t, no tricks. It's OK to want this, just dont lie to anyone. It's gonna be hard man, but you can get past this. Forget who you were-rember who you are. Make peace with that.
brothermartin Posted November 18, 2007 Posted November 18, 2007 From what you've said, man, I dont think you've lost much. Believe it not, you've actually gained something; freedom! But what you need now is not her, but a survival plan. So here it is: 1. Let her go. Dont talk to her, call her, txt-email or write her. Cut her out of you day-to-day completely. And dont tell what you're doing to anyone that might talk to her. 2. Focus your new time on something more constructive, like work or a hobbie. Keep yourself busy so you dont have time to dwell on her. 3. Vent when you need to. But DON'T GET DRUNK. Alchohol only worsens the depressive feelings you will feel. Go to the gym or get a punching bag. It helps to have something to take your frustrations out on. 4. MEET NEW PEOPLE. From work, from people at work, or from just going out with existing friends. But try to stay away from girls you may find attractive. YOU DO NOT WANT TO REBOUND NOW. That could really wreck you. 5. This is the hardest of all: if you can, get laid. A one night stand WITH A CONSENTING ADULT will help you get over this "mystique" of her being the best you ever had. There are other fish in the sea, man. But be honest with any woman that you might get that far with upfront. No games, no bulls**t, no tricks. It's OK to want this, just dont lie to anyone. It's gonna be hard man, but you can get past this. Forget who you were-remember who you are. Make peace with that.
bish Posted November 18, 2007 Posted November 18, 2007 Koronos, She is trash and a tramp. You are better off without her, trust me. And that remark about his "genitalia"...well that just shows that she wants to hurt you....and the fact she said it to a family member is despicable. She knew it would get back to you...thats why she told them. Don't give this little tart a 2nd thought...she can be someone elses problem now. And her wh0rish, selfish, and despicable ways will catch up with her. Move on and find a decent girl....the one you just got rid of is worthless trash...nothing more. thank your lucky stars...TRUST ME ON THIS ONE!!1
Author Koronos Posted November 18, 2007 Author Posted November 18, 2007 Wow, thank all of you for all the replies, i find it very helping. Yea the genetailia remark was out of line, because somehow shes spreading that my stuff is tiny, so i guess its the same as in middle school. "Big when there with ya, small when there not". She called me last night, i did not answer, she called today and i did not answer. She has been leaving voice mails begging for me for bring her back in to support her and give her every possible thing she wants. Worst part about all this, i had a surgery about 6 months ago, gained 50 pounds and she split basically. That's when the cheating and stuff started, when i was skinny at 180 everything was cool. But oh well, i mean when i was skinny i had tons of women i could call up to go out and just have a good time, no strings attatched. But my knee is healed now, so back to the gym i go, and i have a little revenge planned myself . Her ex-best friend of a LONG time has always wanted me, once i lose this weight, shes gonna get me. Mind you it will only be one time, i think that will be enough to really get under her skin and make her realize all the good things i did for her and shes now lost that. If this isnt a good idea someone please tell me, im not good with the revenge thing, heh. Thanks again for all of your replies and time!! They are highly appreciated
frd150 Posted November 18, 2007 Posted November 18, 2007 Wow, thank all of you for all the replies, i find it very helping. Yea the genetailia remark was out of line, because somehow shes spreading that my stuff is tiny, so i guess its the same as in middle school. "Big when there with ya, small when there not". She called me last night, i did not answer, she called today and i did not answer. She has been leaving voice mails begging for me for bring her back in to support her and give her every possible thing she wants. Worst part about all this, i had a surgery about 6 months ago, gained 50 pounds and she split basically. That's when the cheating and stuff started, when i was skinny at 180 everything was cool. But oh well, i mean when i was skinny i had tons of women i could call up to go out and just have a good time, no strings attatched. But my knee is healed now, so back to the gym i go, and i have a little revenge planned myself . Her ex-best friend of a LONG time has always wanted me, once i lose this weight, shes gonna get me. Mind you it will only be one time, i think that will be enough to really get under her skin and make her realize all the good things i did for her and shes now lost that. If this isnt a good idea someone please tell me, im not good with the revenge thing, heh. Thanks again for all of your replies and time!! They are highly appreciated First of this guy is probably the size of a short twig. Anytime you need to talk about it,well you know. Do not f with this other girl. Do not sacrifice her emotions for your revenge. Find a one nighter outside your group. If you choose this. Not my cup o tea. Shes no good man get yourself a good one that will respect your relationship.
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