noturtypicalwife Posted November 18, 2007 Posted November 18, 2007 Does anyone ever think about divorce after the like 1,00th fight? Has anyone ever written a goodbye letter, or a I need to get away and think letter. Any suggestions on how
Curmudgeon Posted November 18, 2007 Posted November 18, 2007 Does anyone ever think about divorce after the like 1,00th fight? Has anyone ever written a goodbye letter, or a I need to get away and think letter. Any suggestions on how ...I didn't. I was naive and honestly believed that after 25 years, anything could be fixed. Thankfully, she left. For awhile I entertained thoughts of recconciliation. Then I decided I liked it better without her around and I divorced her. I also discovered her boyfriend which made it even easier. So, what is it you want to do? Do you want to separate and see if some time and space will help or do you just want to cash in your cards and go? Have you tried counseling? Has there been abuse? Lots of questions. My advice would be to really think through your options and the pros and cons, come to a decision and relate it face-to-face. Then stay, go or do whatever it is you have to do.
Author noturtypicalwife Posted November 18, 2007 Author Posted November 18, 2007 I guess Im just not sure. I have done some MC with him but it is random. I hate the thought of not being with him,but at the same time when we do fight I just want him or me to leave just to stop it, have some peace;he is not abusive per se.
Mr. Lucky Posted November 18, 2007 Posted November 18, 2007 Does anyone ever think about divorce after the like 1,00th fight? You just want to be careful. Once you introduce separation and divorce as active concepts in your marriage, it's hard to go back, not possible to "unring" the bell as they say. If it's what you really think you want, go ahead. However, if you're just trying to get your spouse's attention, it's the wrong way to go about it as he may call your bluff... Mr. Lucky
lonelybird Posted November 18, 2007 Posted November 18, 2007 we have an proverb in China: one day husband-and-wife, one hundred days of love or care. what bind you together in the first place must be something very special between you two. outsider may not understand why you bind together. so you have to think about very carefully about divorce. any threaten will do more damage than good
mattysmom Posted November 18, 2007 Posted November 18, 2007 I was always a firm believer that I should not ever say the *d* word unless I was actually packed and ready to go...but maybe used sparingly it can show H how serious you are. But if you're asking about logistics of actually leaving someone I have no idea.
annieo Posted November 18, 2007 Posted November 18, 2007 I was divorced (and am now married again) and I didn't mention the idea of a separation until I was emotionally already out the door. However, I had said (a million times!!!) that we had problems and it would be a good idea if we went for MC, but my ex thought it was unnecessary and too expensive. My ex also blamed me (after we actually separated) for not letting him know that I was thinking of leaving. As I said, I didn't talk about divorce until I absolutely, irrevocably wanted one. You said that you wanted to stay with you husband and if that is true, don't use divorce/separation as a threat, to make him take you more seriously. Unless of course you think your H isn't taking you seriously. How close are you to calling it quits?
Author noturtypicalwife Posted November 20, 2007 Author Posted November 20, 2007 Im not sure 100%, but I feel like I have done all I can to save what we had.
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