underpants Posted November 17, 2007 Posted November 17, 2007 It has been so long. I was having a productive and good day. Then I get a visit out of the blue. Now I am all shaky.
Ocean-Blue Posted November 17, 2007 Posted November 17, 2007 It has been so long. I was having a productive and good day. Then I get a visit out of the blue. Now I am all shaky. Is it a visit of the X-Files kind...?
Sweetcheripie Posted November 17, 2007 Posted November 17, 2007 What happened? Just stopped by out of the blue? Was it a good visit?
Author underpants Posted November 17, 2007 Author Posted November 17, 2007 Yes, The ex that landed me here. Errrrgh. Oh wait...I still have my list.
Ocean-Blue Posted November 17, 2007 Posted November 17, 2007 Yes, The ex that landed me here. Errrrgh. Oh wait...I still have my list. Came by to your house? If so, what the heck for? And did you make sure to hit him with one of your big tools?
Sweetcheripie Posted November 17, 2007 Posted November 17, 2007 That is pretty rude to just stop by and not call - I don't think i would answer the door. Are you ok?
Author underpants Posted November 17, 2007 Author Posted November 17, 2007 He came to visit. I was actually startled, then I was cordial and polite. He mentioned karma about 10 times and I just let him talk. I dunno. I feel the need to clean something.
Crestfallen_KH Posted November 17, 2007 Posted November 17, 2007 Wow, when was the last time you saw him? What did he talk about? Did he just want to "see how you were doing"?
Ocean-Blue Posted November 17, 2007 Posted November 17, 2007 He came to visit. I was actually startled, then I was cordial and polite. He mentioned karma about 10 times and I just let him talk. I dunno. I feel the need to clean something. I don't really know the history b/w you and the ex... But I'm going to assume that you were the innocent party and the ex was bad, bad, bad. What will you clean, Bree?
marlena Posted November 17, 2007 Posted November 17, 2007 UP, Hi! I can imagine how shaken up you are. I hate it when the do this! My ex does the same. Just a couple of days ago when it would have been our anniversary he texted me at the exact time we met. Released a flood of emotions. I should get my list out too. How did you feel about it? What do you plan to do about it? do you want him back? Are you over him, do you think? How long had it been? Sorry about all the questions! Maybe they are upsetting you more!
Author underpants Posted November 17, 2007 Author Posted November 17, 2007 I will be alright. It was just very unexpected. It has been over a year since I have seen him, longer then that since we were together. I don't know why they do this. Kind of funny, he mentioned some things and I just smiled and agreed. Then all the talk of karma. I would be a fool to associate with him again. He has many twisted sides. I think this is just another side. I was done trying to solve that mystery a long time ago. There is no challenge is being a challenge, just layers of frustration and hurt. That is all really. Part of me fears since I was cordial and polite he will think it is okay to come again. I don't need to get on that merry go round again.
Ocean-Blue Posted November 17, 2007 Posted November 17, 2007 I will be alright. It was just very unexpected. It has been over a year since I have seen him, longer then that since we were together. I don't know why they do this. Kind of funny, he mentioned some things and I just smiled and agreed. Then all the talk of karma. I would be a fool to associate with him again. He has many twisted sides. I think this is just another side. I was done trying to solve that mystery a long time ago. There is no challenge is being a challenge, just layers of frustration and hurt. That is all really. Part of me fears since I was cordial and polite he will think it is okay to come again. I don't need to get on that merry go round again. Then perhaps you should call/email him and be curt in your request that he never set foot in your home again. Inconsiderate fool
melodymatters Posted November 17, 2007 Posted November 17, 2007 Actually I hate pop-ins of any sort, let alone an EX ! If murphy's law was in place, you probably had not yet taken a shower and were in the middle of bleaching your mustache . ( or at least thats the way MY luck goes !)
Ocean-Blue Posted November 17, 2007 Posted November 17, 2007 Actually I hate pop-ins of any sort, let alone an EX ! If murphy's law was in place, you probably had not yet taken a shower and were in the middle of bleaching your mustache . ( or at least thats the way MY luck goes !) That is quite funny. I hope that never happens to me. But then my ex hates me and would never "drop by" anyway...
Author underpants Posted November 17, 2007 Author Posted November 17, 2007 Then perhaps you should call/email him and be curt in your request that he never set foot in your home again. Inconsiderate fool Oh Ocean, You are my cheerleader. Part of me wanted to go more in depth with the discussion. However, the smarter part of me just knew that it leds to no where, no place good. It would be nice if he did get what he did. I think he is just now realizing how his actions have affected him, thus the karma topic. Or, maybe he just needed an ego stroke. Who knows? He showed me a very selfish and manipulative core when we were together. We have been deafening silent to each other for a long time. I don't know about opening any doors of communication. Maybe this was just a one time thing? (although, long ago I used to say this all the time) Crap, this has kind of ruined my day. Is this not the point of the story where I am supposed to have a handsome 6 pack ab, pectoral muscle packing stud lying on my couch reading the newspaper, whilst musing how to romance me later? He should have answered the door.
Author underpants Posted November 17, 2007 Author Posted November 17, 2007 If murphy's law was in place, you probably had not yet taken a shower and were in the middle of bleaching your mustache . ( or at least thats the way MY luck goes !) Correct, unshowered, no make up, and covered in paint. Sexy.
Trialbyfire Posted November 17, 2007 Posted November 17, 2007 Oh no. The last thing you want is to have some dim-bulb be the competition. I wouldn't tell him not to visit again. Let him stew over the fact that he lost you and that you're around but unavailable.
marlena Posted November 17, 2007 Posted November 17, 2007 I will be alright. It was just very unexpected. It has been over a year since I have seen him, longer then that since we were together. I don't know why they do this. Kind of funny, he mentioned some things and I just smiled and agreed. Then all the talk of karma. I would be a fool to associate with him again. He has many twisted sides. I think this is just another side. I was done trying to solve that mystery a long time ago. There is no challenge is being a challenge, just layers of frustration and hurt. That is all really. Part of me fears since I was cordial and polite he will think it is okay to come again. I don't need to get on that merry go round again. I can't believe he just showed up like that without any warning after a whole year! The positive thing is that you sound like you have this guy all figured out (must be a loooong list, huh?) I admire your resolve and just reading your post strengthened mine!!! I know what you mean about his darker side. I know what dealing with that is like. Don't feel bad for being cordial and polite. I'm sure that if he tries to pull off any manipulative stunts, you'll know how to deal with him. Just one last question. How hard was it to turn him down? Have you any residual feelings left at all? Any doubts? Maybe I should go do some cleaning too!
Tormented Posted November 17, 2007 Posted November 17, 2007 It has been so long. I was having a productive and good day. Then I get a visit out of the blue. Now I am all shaky. Isn't it amazing how just the mere sight of an ex can reduce you to wobbly legs and the shakes? Sucks, for sure!! How long has it been since you've seen him before today? Just hang in there, girlie! We're here for you just as you have been for many of us. ~T~
marlena Posted November 17, 2007 Posted November 17, 2007 Isn't it amazing how just the mere sight of an ex can reduce you to wobbly legs and the shakes? Sucks, for sure!! ~T~ Yup! It really does s****! Especially when you know that going back is tantamount to emotional suicide!!!! You've sweated it out for so long and just when you think that you've made progress and are in a better, stronger place ... BAM, they materialize out of thin air, call or text thus plummeting you back to square one. It's like starting NC all over again!
Author underpants Posted November 17, 2007 Author Posted November 17, 2007 Gosh, I actually feel nauseated. Probably not the hoped for response. Tor, Thanks. I am so used to empathizing with you that it really did touch me to see you respond to me. My chin is up, well, unless I hurl.
Ocean-Blue Posted November 17, 2007 Posted November 17, 2007 Oh Ocean, You are my cheerleader. Part of me wanted to go more in depth with the discussion. However, the smarter part of me just knew that it leds to no where, no place good. It would be nice if he did get what he did. I think he is just now realizing how his actions have affected him, thus the karma topic. Or, maybe he just needed an ego stroke. Who knows? He showed me a very selfish and manipulative core when we were together. We have been deafening silent to each other for a long time. I don't know about opening any doors of communication. Maybe this was just a one time thing? (although, long ago I used to say this all the time) Crap, this has kind of ruined my day. Is this not the point of the story where I am supposed to have a handsome 6 pack ab, pectoral muscle packing stud lying on my couch reading the newspaper, whilst musing how to romance me later? He should have answered the door. The way I see it, he should feel like crap, not you. You were in YOUR home doing YOUR thing. He was nothing but a sad little trespasser (perhaps not legally, but certainly an emotional one. Him wanting to see you either means he's feeling guilty, felt a stir in his loins, missed you, was in the neighbourhood and was curious to see what you were up to or came to mind fu@k you (or all of the above). Obviously no one sent him the memo regarding EE (ex etiquette). Forgive him this one trespass. Should he do it again, I say, let him know where he stands (or doesn't, as the case may be). And for the love of all that is fair, DO NOT let this ruin your day. HE was the one who got in his little vehicle to see you. He should feel uncomfortable for rudely showing up at someone's house unannounced. Not you. Right about now, you should be soaking in a tub with fragrant salts and reading a good book while having that merlot. I suspect he's in some parking lot sobbing his eyes out. Even if he's not, it's a pretty picture nonetheless.
Ocean-Blue Posted November 17, 2007 Posted November 17, 2007 Correct, unshowered, no make up, and covered in paint. Sexy. Some men actually find that sexy. There's something endearing about a woman covered in sweat, without a scrap of makeup, with bits of paint here and there... He was probably reminded of your resilience (working away on the house, without caring about the sweat), carpentry skills and confidence (who the hell needs makeup when you're sexy). Dolled up ain't always desirable. Seriously.
marlena Posted November 17, 2007 Posted November 17, 2007 I suspect he's in some parking lot sobbing his eyes out. Even if he's not, it's a pretty picture nonetheless. A very pretty picture indeed!!!
Author underpants Posted November 18, 2007 Author Posted November 18, 2007 Oh my good heavens, I am skating around a thin layer of drama and intent. I do love honesty and my close friends who tell me things I should know. Apparently I was someplace that I was not. Apparently there is a whole plot and storyline that occured where I was not. That is not cool. Hey, I can already think of 2 (miscalculations of truth) from the day's encounter. Aside from my magically being in 2 places at once. Well, the tub has been scoured (again). I will have that bath and glass of wine after all.
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