samsungxoxo Posted November 17, 2007 Posted November 17, 2007 your SO forgot a very important day, your birthday? Personally my b/f and I would end the relationship right away. To us forgetting that is the equivalent of saying ''I don't give a damn about you''.
Trialbyfire Posted November 17, 2007 Posted November 17, 2007 It depends on what you value. If you let them know daily that you care, dates like birthdays and anniversaries aren't really that important. I've forgotten dates like anniversaries before. So have my SOs. It's reliant on deemed importance, which you need to express.
jerbear Posted November 17, 2007 Posted November 17, 2007 I have forgotten important dates. I have not ended a relationship on that. As a guy I have a reminder service that sends me notifications; it hurts when the reminder service reminds you of the relationship after the relationship ends.
Ocean-Blue Posted November 17, 2007 Posted November 17, 2007 your SO forgot a very important day, your birthday? Personally my b/f and I would end the relationship right away. To us forgetting that is the equivalent of saying ''I don't give a damn about you''. Did this happen to a friend of yours? Seems like you've discussed the matter with your SO... So long as you two are aware of how the other feels, why does it matter? It didn't happen to you. Forgetting, prima facie, isn't cool. But if upon further discussion/discovery it turns out there was a valid reason/excuse, then I'd let it go.
KittenMoon Posted November 18, 2007 Posted November 18, 2007 IMO, that's just douchey. If you are with someone enough that you're a couple, they should remember a anniversary or birthday. I mean, c'mon!!!! How hard is it to do a LITTLE something. A work gf of mine just had her birthday. Honestly, she annoys the piss out of me sometimes, but I went out and got her a box of chocolates and a funny set of post-its (she's our receptionist). I thought, it's nice just to make someone feel special sometimes, even when you're not obligated (she was surprised ) And boy I am glad I did something- turns out her husband and kids did NOTHING. She was so heartbroken that they didn't bother to do anything just to make her feel a little special, even just a cup of coffee in bed (her example) or something.
brothermartin Posted November 18, 2007 Posted November 18, 2007 your SO forgot a very important day, your birthday? Personally my b/f and I would end the relationship right away. To us forgetting that is the equivalent of saying ''I don't give a damn about you''. Thats not really what its saying, thats what your insecurity is telling you. There are people that have been married and in commited relationships for years together, and some of them STILL forget important days from time to time. I forgot a girlfriend's birthday once because I was focusing all my attention on keeping us from being evicted from our apartment. She was upset about it, but how upset would she have been if we had wound up homeless?
Trialbyfire Posted November 18, 2007 Posted November 18, 2007 I would be mortally offended if an SO of mine forgot about Christmas, Thanksgiving or some other important date. Birthdays and Anniversaries are so meaningless to me. Having said that, if I'm told how meaningful they are to an SO, I would make every effort to remember those dates. In my PDA they go, on goes the reminder.
Poboy Posted November 18, 2007 Posted November 18, 2007 i would end it. if you cant remember couple of important dates in relationship like birthdays , anniversary's , then you are not the right one for me. Period.
Lyssa Posted November 18, 2007 Posted November 18, 2007 I have never forgotten any important dates and so far neither has he but if he did, I would feel a bit crushed but I wouldn't end a relationship just because of that.
oppath Posted November 19, 2007 Posted November 19, 2007 What do you mean by forget? Do you mean not mention it at all, or not able to celebrate it for whatever reason? I missed my ex gf's birthday, in that I was home for Christmas visiting my family across the country. Her birthday was the 22nd of December. Mine is the 27th. I am a grad student. The extra $$ to fly home the 23rd vs the 21st was a couple hundred bucks, plus I wanted that time with my family, so I flew home. Of course, the week before, I planned an entire day for her birthday, and I did call on it, and I did text her that night too. So in that regard, did I miss her birthday? She didn't mention it as a problem. Of course, she didn't call me back on Christmas until 1am my time (eastern). I was pissed. She didn't have 5 minutes to call me earlier that day? And when I was coming back, and wanting to get together to celebrate christmas and my birthday, she was "too busy." We broke up a week later. I have no idea if me not being physically present on her birthday was a reason, as things were seemingly fine before that (of course her ex proposing to her on her birthday was probably a reason too). My point is: I would be very hurt, but for me, the actual date is not that important. On my birthday, yes, I'd want to be called, but it what do you mean by forget? For some people, if their bf wants to celebrate their gf's birthday the next weekend, as opposed to the actual day, that is a deal breaker. Those things to me aren't a big deal. I want to celebrate, but it does not have to be the exact day. IF your SO wants to do NOTHING to celebrate, however, yeah, they basically are saying "you are not important to me." But as for anniversaries, I don't remember the day of a first date, for example. A wedding I would remember, but otherwise an anniversary would be "sometime that month."
Citizen Erased Posted November 19, 2007 Posted November 19, 2007 An anniversary an be excused, for me they aren't that important (not saying they aren't for everyone else, just to me they aren't) but if my boyfriend forgot my birthday, well then we would have a problem. Mainly because I would NEVER forget his. And if you aren't around for the birthday, the phone was invented for a reason.
wizer Posted November 19, 2007 Posted November 19, 2007 This is the second time in the past hour that I have seen an OP post the same thread in this forum and also on enotalone Two different people. Must be an epidemic! I liked this response best, from a moderator on the other forum: Personally my b/f and I would end the relationship right away. Seriously that statement is ridiculous. If you'd end relationships on that basis you should not be in relationships.
Curmudgeon Posted November 19, 2007 Posted November 19, 2007 your SO forgot a very important day, your birthday? Personally my b/f and I would end the relationship right away. To us forgetting that is the equivalent of saying ''I don't give a damn about you''. ...it could just be a senior moment, dontcha know! Decidedly not something worth ending a relationship over unless there are other, very serious flaws.
Lizzie60 Posted November 19, 2007 Posted November 19, 2007 let's see..an anniversary... I wouldn't mind cause I would probably forget about it myself.. but my birthday... NO WAY!!!!! It would certainly hurt me A LOT but it wouldn't be enough to end the relationship... I would just roll a newspaper and smack it across his face... so next time he won't forget about it..
Curmudgeon Posted November 19, 2007 Posted November 19, 2007 let's see..an anniversary... I wouldn't mind cause I would probably forget about it myself.. but my birthday... NO WAY!!!!! It would certainly hurt me A LOT but it wouldn't be enough to end the relationship... I would just roll a newspaper and smack it across his face... so next time he won't forget about it.. But ya might want ta hit him twice. Some of us are a bit slow on the uptake, dontcha know.
Lizzie60 Posted November 19, 2007 Posted November 19, 2007 But ya might want ta hit him twice. Some of us are a bit slow on the uptake, dontcha know. Yeah..maybe a few times... especially if the guy is older...
heatherd1201 Posted November 19, 2007 Posted November 19, 2007 No, i would not end things if he forgot- sometimes youre just busy! We live together and will be married soon. I think that there are more imprtant things. He did set a reminder on his phone to tell him when our anniversary was. It was during a hectic time (and in the beginning when you celebrate like every month) because he was in school full time and working 60 hours a day. He couldnt hardly remember what day it was. Im proud that he took the initiative to remind himself of it. Its hard for him to forget my birthday because its the same week as his. BUt if you love somebody, "days" shouldnt matter. moments do.
Art_Critic Posted November 19, 2007 Posted November 19, 2007 I forgot my Mothers B-day before.. Does that mean she should never speak to me again ? Ailec.. If someone you care about forgets an important date then you tell them about it and how it makes you feel. Communication on how it made you feel is more important than them forgetting it... A true good relationship also means that you can be wrong and can make mistakes and be forgiven.. Being that we are all only human we will all make mistakes, If you cannot forgive someone for something that was not done intentionally then it would be a shortcoming of you and not the person who forgot the date. To breakup with someone over this would show an immaturity that I'm sure would also show up in other areas of the relationship and the chances are that it would just be the straw that broke the camels back.
oppath Posted November 20, 2007 Posted November 20, 2007 To breakup with someone over this would show an immaturity that I'm sure would also show up in other areas of the relationship and the chances are that it would just be the straw that broke the camels back. Agreed. It is very important, and if your SO forgot an important day, you'd have every right to be angry at him and to express that anger, thereby having a negative interaction. However, you should give a chance for an explanation and apology unless there is a habit of it.
birdie Posted November 20, 2007 Posted November 20, 2007 I forget birthdays because my own doesn't matter to me. We see things from our point of view, it is impossible to have exactly the same expectations and priorities as everyone else - except in really serious situations of course. I think anyone breaking up over a forgotten birthday is way too self-absorbed to be in a mature relationship in the first place.
4givrnt4gtr Posted November 20, 2007 Posted November 20, 2007 opps i meant to start a new threat..but since I am here... I personally would take it a bit hard if my SO forgot my bday (not so much anniversary) however I wouldnt really break it off bc of it, id give him S** but not break it off.... I feel relationships, specially decent ones, are too hard to come by to end them for silly stuff like that
Author samsungxoxo Posted November 22, 2008 Author Posted November 22, 2008 Yea, he sure as hell missed it. It happened months ago already but I'm still mad about it. Sorry was basically not good enough for me, I'm gonna do the same when dec. comes.
JackJack Posted November 22, 2008 Posted November 22, 2008 Maybe he doesn't see it as that big of a deal, kind of like you don't find it that big of a deal to talk dirty to other guys on the net, like you posted before. Just a thought.
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