bustertypsy Posted November 17, 2007 Posted November 17, 2007 Hi,I am coming to the end of week 5 of NC. It has been a hard road,emotionally trying but I am still intact,just about. Just now I was going thru my mobile phone and in my galleries there were pictures of my ex. Well,the pain that shot thru my heart upon seeing these pics was unbearable.I suddenly turned into a helpless wreck and all the memories came flooding back. My mood for the day has gone from hopeful to desperate in the blink of an eye.Has anybody else experienced this sudden emotional nightmare? If so please share it with me,I might learn something from you.
MattyTee Posted November 17, 2007 Posted November 17, 2007 Hey Buster, Yep, I've been there. On Thursday this week I was in London visiting my brother. We were walking along talking after leaving a book launch and I saw a sign advertising the Lord of the Rings stage show. I started recognising things around me, like the shops and street signs. Once we rounded the corner I knew exactly where we were - the last night I'd spent with my ex (long-distance relationship for a lot of it) before she flew back home was going to see the Lion King in the West End. Somehow we'd walked right into that area and the floods of memories hit me like a bus. It took a huge effort not to burst out crying, my breathing was heavy, I was sweating and felt a stabbing pain in my chest. It wasn't nice!! It was only once I was well away from the area and had relaxed a bit that I could remember what a great time we'd had that night, I was able to be thankful for the memory and just hold it in my heart.
Author bustertypsy Posted November 17, 2007 Author Posted November 17, 2007 Thanks for that MattyTee, I am glad that you understand what it's like. I suppose when one hurts they think the pain they are suffering is more intense than anyone elses.Unfortunately there's no way to measure pain.The way you described your agony last Thursday,well I think I can feel your pain,and it's very similar to mine. Thanks for that and hope you heal more and more as time passes.
MattyTee Posted November 17, 2007 Posted November 17, 2007 No problem. Things do get better but there will always be those times when we fall for a while. As time marches on those falls will become smaller and less frequent and we'll be able to look back and hold fond memories. I wish you all the best with your healing as well!
tinke Posted November 17, 2007 Posted November 17, 2007 yes there are triggers that produce memories...but, with time, they seem to lessen in intensity. i still feel a twinge of sadness, but not that deep pining as before. hang in there. most of us have felt those low days that seem to appear from nowhere. trust...it will get easier! take care
marty Posted November 18, 2007 Posted November 18, 2007 i had one today, kinda a wierd one mind u. went shopping this morning and parked in a new multi-storey car park. weird thing is it 'smelled' exactly the same as Schipol Airport in Amsterdam (where i would always meet my ex). one smell,,,,,,,,,,, fighting tears all the way home. i guess i'm not over her as much as i thought. im getting so tired of feeling like this.
Author bustertypsy Posted November 18, 2007 Author Posted November 18, 2007 Yes Marty,It's terrible how you can just get that smack in the face. I am having a crap day today.Was out with family to celebrate my mams 70th birthday last night.To see my family with their wives/husbands,boy/girlfriends just made me feel almost like a failure. Woke up today and have that gut wrenching feeling. I know I can't contact her to tell her how I feel,that's why I am posting this now. 5 weeks now ,and the pain almost feels worse.I keep thinking what a waste of real,true love.
Jmina Posted November 18, 2007 Posted November 18, 2007 Hi there.... =) I experience just what you explained and it is 3 1/2 months NC for me. 6 months since the break up. Now what i do during these times, is actually accept that i am feeling so desperately sad. When it gets really bad i breath through my feelings and try not use any words or thoughts to feed the pain. this helps and i can then continue to write or think or do whatever i am doing without the pain being so gripping. i am left feeling tired and sad but i know that just like everything else "this too shall pass" keep posting. dont hold in any tears, pain. even if it is 5 months down the track. Jmina
marty Posted November 18, 2007 Posted November 18, 2007 yeah,its what i try to do now, just accept it when it comes and wait for it to pass. didnt help that it was my birthday yesterday. a milestone day and a little more closure. if i'm honest though, really honest.... was hoping for a card, or something. wasnt expecting it, and didnt get it, but a little part of me was hoping for it. like i say, a little more closure to the fact that she's gone and has moved on. im just so tired of 'moving on' and being 'strong'.
bigheartkindsoul Posted November 18, 2007 Posted November 18, 2007 It is hard, as you might know I had recent problems with memories myself. The good thing is they do get less and less. The best thing I found, is to build new memories by keeping busy and having some great things to look back on since the split, like concerts, nights out, good laughs etc then my mind has something else to think about. I have the anniversary of us meeting on 22nd Dec, not ideal as so close to Xmas, Xmas will probably be hard this year I am sure but I will still make the most of it. And I will try and make sure I have some good plans so that I am not thinking or stewing about the dates. xxx
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