Uhriventis Posted November 17, 2007 Posted November 17, 2007 So it starts out in April of 05 I got with this girl. Who at the time was everything I wanted and I suppose even after the hardships I've gone through now, I still very much indeed love her as you guys will soon find out. Now we were a young couple at the time I was 16 I am 19 now, I guess you can still call me young. But anyways, we did everything together of course and it was both our first true love. We both have had relationships in the past but this would be our first real one. She ended up moving in with me maybe three months after dating and it was elating. "How cool is that" I thought being 16 and sleeping with my girlfriend was the best thing ever to happen to me! Hah, so in one word I was very excited. You know, we had a pretty tight bond. Even the first night we spent together- the first time we actually met each other we talked of this seemingly "magical" bond we had even not knowing anything about each other we felt it and it was nice. We did start having rough times. Previously before this I was very much a single cat. I knew how to get my way with the ladies and even though I loved my girl I couldn't shake the need for other women and often times I would break up with her knowing she would take me back so I could go off and be a complete F***ING A**HOLE. Makes me ill just thinking how I treated her back in the day. But, anyways you get the picture about that... I would break up with her to go be with other women. Even while doing this she always took me back... She was always there for me and I knew it. After this small era we were solid- very solid. We began making plans together for the future you know? It was very good... Than about 3 years later I began getting a taste of my own medicine... She broke up with me for 3 months. In this time she wasn't sexual but, she kissed two other guys. Broke my heart, I was really sick for those three months. I lost weight and dropped to about 90 pounds, I was doing drugs heavier than what I have done in the past, I would stay up for days, I tried to get to her so one night I decided that I would walk into her house and talk to her... That didn't go to well, she wasn't there and her step dad was pretty mad. However, we ended up getting back together. She called me out of no where wanting to get back together. At first I was a little hesitant out of fear of being hurt again but, how could I say no to that gorgeous face? We stayed together firm for awhile but, later I found out that she cheated on me... I guess cheating... She kissed my cousin in May. This threw my mind into a tornado I felt betrayed, ashamed of myself, and lost. I thought I could handle it and move on but, I found myself often times becoming extremely irate with her, cussing her out and calling her terrible names. Now I understand we all make mistakes and how I reacted to this ordeal was not the best way of handling it. But, none the less we ended up breaking up AGAIN. Okay, this time I had the attitude, "Screw you, I'm moving on." Time went by.... About a month and she came back again! First we mad small talk and stuff and we didn't really talk about the relationship much she just sort of told me what was new in her life and such I told her about mine.. Well, on the way to her driving home she calls me crying telling me to listen to a song. I'll Be There For You by Bon Jovi was the song. Now I'm no fan of his music but, it was nice to hear the lyrics after she told me to hurry up and turn the radio on. Things were nice for awhile but, recently I locked the keys inside her car on accident and had to call a wrecker to unlock them (recent as in OCT 11th) and we just got into a huge argument. Out of anger I broke up with her. Now I realize it was a mistake and she has nothing to do with me now... She emailed me telling me how she doesn't want to talk to me and such. So what I did was send her a nice little email being as true as I could... With my feelings and all. And deleted my old email address and got a new one to try to forget about her and all... However, she has treated me this way in the past. She treated me worst in the three month stretch I had to go through. I'm just wondering about other peoples opinions.... Do you guys think I still have a chance after I give her space and such to work things out and get them back on the tracks they once were? Or should I just completely surrender give up and move on? Which I wouldn't want to do but, am prepared to do so. What do ya think? Sorry about the writing it's late and haven't gotten much sleep... I assure you I am normally a very good writer. :^) Stephen
Lyssa Posted November 17, 2007 Posted November 17, 2007 However, she has treated me this way in the past. She treated me worst in the three month stretch I had to go through. If she has treated you worst in that 3 months, why do you want her back? Is it because you're both comfortable with one another? You don't have to start all over again?
Author Uhriventis Posted November 17, 2007 Author Posted November 17, 2007 There is some truth in your respond. I am very comfortable with her and that's partly why I stick on to the idea of us getting back together. However, I do love her as well- honestly. I think a lot more than she loves me. You see I failed to mention I am very much a traditionalist when it comes to love. I'm conservative about it and I believe do it once I suppose. Whether that's bad or not I can't change it and I sort of believe that's how it should be. I'm a very romantic and love oriented person. So a lot of my music, writing, and thoughts are about love. So in return I can't get my mind off of her. However, I am doing the "no contact" thing. Which is helping me
Lyssa Posted November 17, 2007 Posted November 17, 2007 That's good to know that you're a traditionalist. Since you're doing the NC thing, I reckon if things don't go back to how it used to be, you're willing to let it go for good and move on?
Author Uhriventis Posted November 17, 2007 Author Posted November 17, 2007 You know I can't say. I would hope I am (most likely am) able to get over her and move on. But, you know one thing I just can't get over is how happy I would be if I could just have been with one girl for the rest of my life. Before I met her I was arrogant, full of myself, and just a little punk. But, now I have become a very caring, loving, quiet, extremely loyal, person. "Stand By Me" John Lennons version was our song. Perhaps I took it to the extremes?
Lyssa Posted November 17, 2007 Posted November 17, 2007 Have you been with a lot of women to feel this way? That you'd be happy being with her and only her? That you don't need anyone else or get to know other ladies? Don't you feel like you're losing out on something if you were to stick to just this one girl that you're talking about? I'm sorry for all these Qs but I guess it would help you to see how things are/were.
Author Uhriventis Posted November 17, 2007 Author Posted November 17, 2007 Have you been with a lot of women to feel this way? That you'd be happy being with her and only her? That you don't need anyone else or get to know other ladies? Don't you feel like you're losing out on something if you were to stick to just this one girl that you're talking about? I'm sorry for all these Qs but I guess it would help you to see how things are/were. Well, before her I was with a different girl every night. In fact I wasn't suppose to fall in love with her. I went to her house thinking I was going to get a one night stand. I was wrong... But, it's probably one of the only times I didn't mind being wrong. I would be completely happy and content with being with her the rest of my life. I have been single I lived it up and no longer think it's something to crave as I did. I would not be losing out on anything if I had her and only her. In fact that's sort of my dream. I just want to have one girl... Forever. Maybe, it will only be a dream but, I feel like I can't just ignore the feelings I have for her. I think it would be a mistake and that I would regret letting her go... Even with all the hardships- nothing good comes easy and as for this time period you know... If we are together for the rest of our lives (As cheesy as it sounds) These small little times of "discovering ones self" won't even make a dent in a relationship that's been steady for over 10 years you see? So I feel like I can get over the abuse I am going through now. I just grin and bare it until the roller coaster ride is over. I'll be alright I suppose though if I can't get my wishes. Though sad.
Lyssa Posted November 17, 2007 Posted November 17, 2007 Has she tried contacting you since your last email? If you're so sure then there's no harm in trying to work things out. You seem to know what you want but you're just giving her some time to think things over, no? I am content right now and not looking for anything else. My relationship is only one year old but I have gone through a number of failed relationships and also a few that was good but this is the one that I feel fulfilled in so many ways. I guess you kinda feel this way with yours?
Author Uhriventis Posted November 17, 2007 Author Posted November 17, 2007 Has she tried contacting you since your last email? If you're so sure then there's no harm in trying to work things out. You seem to know what you want but you're just giving her some time to think things over, no? I am content right now and not looking for anything else. My relationship is only one year old but I have gone through a number of failed relationships and also a few that was good but this is the one that I feel fulfilled in so many ways. I guess you kinda feel this way with yours? No she doesn't want to contact me and when I try to contact her she gets very angry. For some reason she is acting as if I've been the one treating her unfairly and to be honest I think she believes that. Even though I'm pretty sure it's the other way around. I have no idea what I have done to deserve this treatment but, it must be something really really bad. But, I'm not here to feel sorry for myself. I need to write things down and just maybe get other's opinions. But, she sure can drive me up the wall. Right now she's acting as if it's completely over... But, she has acted this way in the past and when she starts thinking of me I get a call. She's a very confused girl as of lately- I wish I could be there for her but, I don't think she's letting me into that bubble. Ehhh.
sedgwick Posted November 17, 2007 Posted November 17, 2007 Okay...I tried getting through all of this, but I couldn't because there are no paragraphs! It makes it really tough to read. However...if you cheated on her, and she then cheats on you, there's really nothing to be done. It's not like you can really get angry at her for it. You did it to her first. But also, I think this stuff happens when you're teenagers...you're just learning who you are sexually and emotionally, and you have to do some experimenting to find those things out. It's just part of the process of growing up, unfortunately. Those first loves hurt a lot. But now, 20 years later, I can honestly say I'm very, very glad I'm not still with my boyfriend from when I was 16...and I continued to date him off and on until I was 19, like you. You guys will both change SO much in the next five years you can't even imagine it now. I know this isn't what you want to hear, and I don't discount your pain. But there are some great adventures in your immediate future if you seize them! I do wonder, though, what it is about guys that makes them treat girls like sh*t when they have them and then mourn for them when they're gone. Of course, my ex isn't mourning for me; I doubt he even remembers I exist...so there's that version too I guess! Sometimes I honestly think guys have almost no feelings at all.
Author Uhriventis Posted November 17, 2007 Author Posted November 17, 2007 Okay...I tried getting through all of this, but I couldn't because there are no paragraphs! It makes it really tough to read. However...if you cheated on her, and she then cheats on you, there's really nothing to be done. It's not like you can really get angry at her for it. You did it to her first. But also, I think this stuff happens when you're teenagers...you're just learning who you are sexually and emotionally, and you have to do some experimenting to find those things out. It's just part of the process of growing up, unfortunately. Those first loves hurt a lot. But now, 20 years later, I can honestly say I'm very, very glad I'm not still with my boyfriend from when I was 16...and I continued to date him off and on until I was 19, like you. You guys will both change SO much in the next five years you can't even imagine it now. I know this isn't what you want to hear, and I don't discount your pain. But there are some great adventures in your immediate future if you seize them! I do wonder, though, what it is about guys that makes them treat girls like sh*t when they have them and then mourn for them when they're gone. Of course, my ex isn't mourning for me; I doubt he even remembers I exist...so there's that version too I guess! Sometimes I honestly think guys have almost no feelings at all. Sorry about the bad writing. However, for one I gave my ex the decency of breaking up with her to "cheat" also I was very young and both of us were not in love. When she decided to cheat our relationship was established and we both wanted a future together. However, either way no excuses for either side no matter what age, time period, or with whom period. Also, I don't know if you were saying that I treated her like **** because, I haven't. I've been extremely patient with her and always supported her in anything she has done. Before getting with her she was extremely lost and a druggie. After meeting with me I got her off drugs, made her get a job, now she is in college. Her parents accuse me of manipulating her and if that's manipulating than so be it. What I have done with her should at least be brought out into the light now for her family and her can see that I have in fact made a positive impact on her life. Also, I think that is a problem that must be addressed: breaking up/divorce what ever you flavor. As said previously I am very much a traditionalist when it comes down to love. I've noticed families and friendships get destroyed of relationships. What ever happened to working things out? It's a sorry epidemic that needs to be talked about and fixed I think. The world has absolutely no romance anymore. As soon as something doesn't go ones way the automatic need is to cut the other off. I believe this is wrong and must stop. Though I understand that most people don't think the way I do. I think most people are diluting true and unconditional love. If others aren't going to help stop it- I'd hope to set an example that things can work out and you will live, "Happily ever after". Stephen.
Lyssa Posted November 18, 2007 Posted November 18, 2007 So.. what's the latest? Heard anything from her yet?
Author Uhriventis Posted November 18, 2007 Author Posted November 18, 2007 No, I'm thinking I won't get any kind of contact from her for at least two weeks. I mean, she has to come back at some time. I have a lot of her stuff here (Diploma, key board, etc) however, I just hope the next visit isn't all work like. You know? "I'm here for my stuff don't talk to me." Sort of thing. 40 percent of me thinks she will want to get back together again the other 60 isn't to sure. But, 40 percent I think- is enough to have hope...?
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