thelegend Posted November 17, 2007 Posted November 17, 2007 Well i'll give a brief intro. Met a woman at work a year ago. She had a man but didn't let that stop me. She obviously wasn't happy with him. We talked for a couple weeks until one night she asked to come over. I pick her up one thing leads to another and i go from number 2 to number 1. We stay together for 10 months a lot of bumps in the road but love develops some how. Finally she meets another guy while we are together and breaks up with me. Same pattern she had with me. So here we are a year later and 2 months after the break up she and I are talking again. Some days are good some are bad. Last week she shocks me and tells me she wants to have sex with me. I'm cool with it because she was great in bed and she told me how much she loved it when we did it. So we meet up this past Wednesday and things happen. We get to the main course and 3 minutes into it she says this isn't right. She says this 4 times. So i stop and let her get up and she puts her pants on i put mine on and i drop her off. She calls me 2 minutes later and says i didn't do nothing wrong she just felt this wasn't right. I talked to her that night and she said the only reason she stopped me was because she loves the guy that she left me for. Of course i know that's not true because if she did she wouldn't have even got in the car let alone let me do what i did to her. I've given her some space and i'm trying to figure out why she really stopped me. I know i'm just the other guy but i do have feelings for her and i know she has them for me. She told me the day after that it felt good to be with me and be touched by me again. This really confused me as she sticks to the line i love him and that's the only reason i stopped you. I am well aware of the fact that this is wrong. I didn't plan on being the other guy i just wanted to have her as a friend because we had a lot of fun and she's cool to talk to. But I did as she asked and gave her what she asked me for only because she asked me. I wouldn't do this with just anybody she is the only ex i've done this with. I've been the other guy before in other relationships but i know this is different because i still have feelings for her. I know i couldn't be with her completely because it's obvious she has problems with commitments. I was wondering if anybody had any thoughts on why she stopped me or the whole situation period?
Crestfallen_KH Posted November 17, 2007 Posted November 17, 2007 She's finally developed a conscience?
Author thelegend Posted November 17, 2007 Author Posted November 17, 2007 LOL!!! That's what i said. I just wonder why she's still hanging on to me at this point. Especially if her conscience got the best of her
justice Posted November 17, 2007 Posted November 17, 2007 Because she knew in her heart of hearts it was wrong.
Author thelegend Posted November 18, 2007 Author Posted November 18, 2007 Then i wonder why she's being jealous and selfish with me. We talked today and she admitted that she has feelings for me and i'm special to her. And that she loves having sex with me. But then at the end of the convo i told her i was about to go out. She asked where? I said i got a date tonight. She gets pissed at me. And says why are you so worried about me why don't you go on and move on since you dating and leave me alone. It's wild I told her she can't get mad and it's not fair she has a man and expects me to sit and be her little toy.
Lyssa Posted November 18, 2007 Posted November 18, 2007 Then i wonder why she's being jealous and selfish with me. We talked today and she admitted that she has feelings for me and i'm special to her. And that she loves having sex with me. But then at the end of the convo i told her i was about to go out. She asked where? I said i got a date tonight. She gets pissed at me. And says why are you so worried about me why don't you go on and move on since you dating and leave me alone. It's wild I told her she can't get mad and it's not fair she has a man and expects me to sit and be her little toy. I guess this is where the line "She wants the cake and eat it all too" comes into place, huh? Well, you know what... you have a life of your own! You're not married to her and neither is she to you. It was her choice to be with the OM because she loves him so you have all the rights to go out and have some fun of your own. She shouldn't even be questioning you about it!
Author thelegend Posted November 18, 2007 Author Posted November 18, 2007 Actually i'm the OM LOL!! But she knows where i stand she knows i will always love her i do have a strong bond with her. But you are exactly right she can't have it all. She choice him and got rid of me so she can't be mad that other women want me.
Lyssa Posted November 18, 2007 Posted November 18, 2007 Actually i'm the OM LOL!! But she knows where i stand she knows i will always love her i do have a strong bond with her. But you are exactly right she can't have it all. She choice him and got rid of me so she can't be mad that other women want me. Yeah... you're both OM, right? But you got what I was saying... . Exactly! It was her choice to be with the OM. So it's her loss, someone else's gain!!
Author thelegend Posted November 18, 2007 Author Posted November 18, 2007 :)You are most definitely right. She's so afraid i'm going to sleep with someone else. And i'm like hello you have a man you sleep with. She knows i have feelings for her and some days i'm mad at myself for having them. Like yesterday was supposed to be our 1 year anniversary so I made her an almost anniversary card so i do little thoughtful things like that to let her know she's never far from my heart and thoughts. But I can't wait for her to make up her mind what she wants to do. Especially not while i'm sill in high demand:)
Author thelegend Posted November 24, 2007 Author Posted November 24, 2007 She called me Tuesday to tell me she's not happy with him. And now she wants to break up with him.
GreenEyedLady Posted November 24, 2007 Posted November 24, 2007 She called me Tuesday to tell me she's not happy with him. And now she wants to break up with him. How old are you guys? She doesn't know what she wants...You seem to be ok with FWB's...This is a whole lot of drama for what? She's not married, right? Or have I got this completely wrong...
oyster Posted November 25, 2007 Posted November 25, 2007 This is what I label as her "Friends with benefits Inventory". She needs emotional support, sexual fullfillment so when one guys does not meet her needs at a point in time, she looks up her rolodex of willing participants to satisfy her.
Author thelegend Posted November 26, 2007 Author Posted November 26, 2007 I'm 27 she's 21 I'm cool with the fwb but for some reason i'm sure she's not all together cool with it because when i go out she gets pissed and when i try to be cool with her she gets pissy with me. Trust me oyster she needs more than that. I think she's going through the karma stage because everything she did to me before she broke up with me he's doing to her. So she's a little pissy right now
IpAncA Posted November 26, 2007 Posted November 26, 2007 She sounds like someone who doesn't know what she wants. I wouldn't be on the sidelines waiting for her to get with the program. But that's just me.
Author thelegend Posted November 28, 2007 Author Posted November 28, 2007 You right about that she doesn't. She's admitted that much. But I'm not waiting i'm doing my thing and she hates
Author thelegend Posted November 29, 2007 Author Posted November 29, 2007 She told me Tuesday that we couldn't be more than friends. I'm getting tired of the mixed signals and lies. It's one thing to lie to me but now she's lying and starting to believe her own lies. I still can't believe she told me she had to sleep with me to find out who she had feelings for. I finally told her you couldn't love him if you slept with me that's not love that's just lust.
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