thewholeshabangg Posted November 17, 2007 Posted November 17, 2007 okay.. so ive known this guy for about a little over 9 months. we met through mutual friends and once we met, we hit. it. off. right away there was a physical attraction, and there was an emotional attraction also. we talked almost everyday, would text back and forth.. call each other, see each other. we lived just under an hour away from each other, but time was made to see each other and when we did it was great. We didn't get intimate until about two months into the 'relationship', however we never talked about anything exclusive. after about three months into the relationship, we got into a little tiff, didn't talk for about two weeks. He called me and wanted to start over. I agreed, a lot of things were going on in our lives and i understood where he was coming from, and vice versa. about two months after that, we got in another little tiff, didn't talk for about another two, two and a half weeks. we got together again.. everything was WAY better this time around then last. but he, on more than one occasion, would send me texts like, "i love you" or "wanna get married"... whatever. and we joked about getting married after HE brought it up. (games?) he would tell me how he wanted to go on my family vacations with me and my family, wanted to take me on his, call me beautiful and say how lucky he is he found me, blah blah blah.. just recently we got into another one of our arguments, saying i don't give enough, he doesn't give enough.. blah blah. So out of the blue, after he ignored a phone call (with voicemail!) and a text message, i decided to delete his phone number. now, he texts me and was just a simple.. "whats up" and i decide to let him know that he can't just text me after ignoring me for two weeks. He rems and yells at me, telling me the same bull****, whatever. i ask him at the end, (mind you through texts, we were both at work) "now what?" no response. so three days later, i call him, left a message, explaining to simply call me back.. now, about three days after the call he sends me a text message.. nothing of relevance, just a forwarded joke. i text back saying.. "funnyy", to be civil. now i don't know what to do.. everytime i try and contact him, to ask him what the hell, don't text me out of the blue, and don't ignore me, i get nothing. but i still jump at any noise of my phone, praying it's him. we get along so very, very well, and the attraction between us is undeniable. he is what i have been looking for for a long time, and i just wish that we could get to an understanding.. but i know a decision has GOT to be made.. i just can't do it. i know what i want, and i konw what i need. my heart and mind are at a constant battle with him, and i just don't know how to handle this anymore. I feel like we have invested a lot of time and energy into each other just to end things.. especially like this, but i feel like this isn't reciprocal anymore. and im giving too much.. am i? help!!!!!!!!
dutchie Posted November 21, 2007 Posted November 21, 2007 I'm sorry, but this guy sounds like a jerk. Only you can really say if he is or isn't, but it sounds to me like he is playing games and maybe a bit unsure of what he wants. I was in a similar situation once, so I understand how you feel about being torn. You know what you need from a relationship, but you can't leave the man that is seemingly making you miserable. I know that the sh** really had to hit the fan for me to finally get him out of my life. What it was is that he had a FIANCEE the whole damn time we dated(8 months). But before I found that out(he led a completely double life--long story, don't want to hijack your thread) I just could not get over it. Anyways, that is my 2 cents. Good luck!
Amy22 Posted November 21, 2007 Posted November 21, 2007 I am in a situation close to yours. I tell my ex not to call or text. Then he does because he knows I can't stand it and will respond. I also can't make a decision because I am not ready to let go. Even though I think it would be the best decision. So until I get the guts to do it and cut him out of my life I live in this hell basically. I hope that one day I will get tired of it and finally have the guts to say it is over and mean it. I want to feel like the decision is right. I am sure that is how you are feeling to. I know I didn't really offer any advice and know you are not alone. It is hard to give up on someone you really care about. You just have to decide what is best long term for you and make a decision and be strong and stick with it. Good Luck
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