Question for Women??

[budd98]

My g/f dumped me 2 weeks ago after 2.5 years together. She is very insecure and has broken up with me several times before, but I do care for her. Anyways, I went to an event last night with my sister, mom, and dad and some of the ex's friends were there. I think my sister might have looked like she was my g/f cause we walked together most of the time and they seen that.

In the past 2 weeks I e-mailed once and text a few times but nothing in 5 days now with never getting a response from her. Now today I finally get a text from her and it says this "heard you have a new gfriend already congrats!" I waited a while then responded with "Who is spreading rumors now?" So my question is this: What is she triing to get out of me by sending that text? What do you think I should do? I worry that if I don't tell her it was my sis with me that she might think I do have a g/f and it will wreck any chances. Any advice will help. Thanks.

[sderenzi]

Any sane man will tell you that by letting her think you have a new gf it's going to improve your chances. Tell her in a text "yea I do have a new girl but she's not really a gf we're just seeing eachother every now and then." This will let her think you are available but also that women would rather be a F buddy than nothing at all, it'll improve your situation greatly.

 

Also stop worrying so much

[Trialbyfire]

Any relationship that deteriorates to games is doomed. Don't play.

 

If someone starts gaming you by sending strange text messages out of the blue, I would shut her down by ignoring her. You don't owe her an explanation for her own idiocy in believing rumours.

 

Also, take a good look at your relationship. Was she insecure for breaking up with you a few times or were there issues that weren't being addressed? Best to decide whether you had some complicity to the dissolution of the relationship before deciding your course of action.

[nycndatriad]

I wonder if she will believe that is was your sis even if you tell her. But if makes you feel better set the record straight and tell her how you feel.

[budd98]

Im 28 and she is 25. She always assumes the worst with everything and she would'nt believe me anyways. Yes, there have been issues.....Mainly she wants everything and gives nothing. She already knows how I feel about her since I never wanted the break-up and I have told her. Do you feel my best chance to win her back would be to do nothing at all and keep her wondering? I'm just curious what would help, thanks.

[reboot]

Mainly she wants everything and gives nothing.

Why would you want her back?

[Trialbyfire]

Why do you want someone back who gives nothing?

[cant let go]

she's never met your sister after 2.5 years together? there is no reason to respond to her text as it was immature. but should you be talking to her again and the subject were to come up, there is no reason to lead her to believe that you have a girlfriend. you simply say that you don't have any idea why she would assume that.

[budd98]

She is now texting me that she had to give her dog away because she got in trouble for it barking at her apartment. I bought her that dog last Christmas and believe me, she would NEVER get rid of it. Why the heck would she make something like that up? The following day she text me saying "Your not talking to me now cause of the dog?" She knows I love that dog too, but she would NEVER get rid of it cause its her life now. Trust me. So then last night I asked again through text, and she says "I told you, please leave me be, it hard enough." I figure she is triing to get a reaction from me, but what is the point? What reason do you think why she would she act this way?

[SandyRose]

I know what it's like to be putting ALL the effort into the relationship, and not getting anything in return. My bf was the same way...but there were many reasons as to why he was like that (military).

 

But anyhow...let me tell you what i did. He broke up with me after a 2.5 yr relationship also, out of nowhere, and it really didn't make sense to me at all. I tried to make it work, and piece it back together, but he didn't want it. And i believe that's because i was always on his case about it...that it pushed him FURTHER away from me.

 

After a while, i stopped, cold turkey...and i told him i want no contact what so ever, and that i need this time for myself to heal and get on with my life. We had 12 days of no contact, and he contacted me for no reason just to make conversation. I was nice but to the point in the conversation...even though i wanted to cry my heart out and tell him how much i missed him.

 

You need to establish no contact with her. Let her sit and ponder over why she broke up with you. You put so much into this relationship..and she put nothing into it, right? Why do you want to be with someone like that? Trust me, i know how you feel, I KNOW. It hurts so so badddd. But to make myself feel better...i tell myself everyday that i was the one that put 120% into the relationship..and i only recieved a quarter of that back from him---who the hell deserves that?!!!! You deserve better!! Make your girl work for it, hun.

 

I'm 26, and he's a year younger than me...if that helps you understand how to compare things.

 

My ex broke no contact with me on the 12th day of no contact, which IIIII had requested!!!

 

Listen, you really need to give her a cold shoulder, hun. Let her sit and wonder about what she has done...has she made the right choice to end the relationship...does she want you back...can she see you in her future?? These are all questions she needs to ask herself..and above anything, hun....this is crucial and should be the #1 thing:

 

YOU HAVE TO LET HER MISS YOU!!! SHE CAN'T MISS YOU IF YOU ARE CONTACTING HER BACK, RIGHT?!! LET HER REALIZE WHAT HER LIFE IS LIKE WITHOUT YOU!!!

 

You're being very much like how i've been....but will not anymore!! And that is reading TOO much into the situation!!

 

Girls have a habit of making up lies, or fabricating things to sound a lot worse...just so that they can get your attention. If she loves that dog so much and would never give it up..chances are she hasn't...or maybe she did have to give him away to a friend for a while, until she settles the situation with her apartment complex.

 

Just take a back seat and let things go...trust me...she will eventually come back to you when she sees you don't care, or that you are doing just fine. You do NOT have to tell her that you are dating someone else. IT IS NONE OF HER DAMN BUSINESS!!! You are not a couple anymore....c'mon!! You do not have to answer to anyone, and most definately not HER!! These words right here should move mountains for you!! I am in the same boat as you...we are both older than our SO's...and we know what we want in life, right? It's them that don't know...

 

Don't put all of your eggs in one basket...go out and enjoy your life, and make friends. Don't look for a new girlfriend, or new partner..just get out there and make friends and enjoy yourself.

 

The less contact you have with her...the easier it gets. Trust me....i kept my promise to maintain no contact from the minute i asked for it...and so far it's been 20 days and i have NEVER contacted him. He was the one that broke NC with me on the 12th day!!!! And that to me, was the biggest accomplishment out of the relationship!!

 

Get the power back, hun...she's controlling your emotions...don't allow it!! From here on out..things can only get BETTER!!

[Phateless]

I say you trust your instincts and drag it out. Just tell her "no, wasn't my gf. she is cute tho...". She's obviously jealous. Good.

[Blue Eyed Brain]

Don't respond and see where it goes.....