Aussie65 Posted November 16, 2007 Posted November 16, 2007 He is suppose to be coming up this afternoon after work.He called me last night which was out one year anniversay since we first met and started seeing each other.He called up at 8.30 and said he was going out for pizza but I sent him a couple of text messages,nice ones about how it's been a year bla bla bla,and have heard nothing since.I sent a message this morning,he usually calls me,still no reply.I am concerned,I am suppose to be going down there to live with him and now my insecurities have kicked in wondering where the heck he has been since he called me at 8.30.....did he go out,did he find someone new?....I have had little sleep and am confused.He keeps his phone in his car as he has lost his charger but i cannot charge over night.....am I worrying too much?I have a lot at stake here.
dancinggal Posted November 16, 2007 Posted November 16, 2007 No, I don't think you are over-reacting. Its an important day to you, and he said he would be there. But remember, guys sometimes just forget stuff like that too.
Author Aussie65 Posted November 17, 2007 Author Posted November 17, 2007 he called this morning after I posted this...said he never got my text messages.I have said to him if he is seeing someone else to tell me...I am making a huge move to be with him but need 100% commitment from him.I guess I would have felt better if he called me up when he got to bed to say goodnight....just saying goodbye at 8.30 made me think he was out somewhere...bad bad thoughts! and yes some men just don't think...I told him the day before it was our yearly anniversary so it's not like I didn't tell him...so he forgot Something special for me just does not seem that great to him. Well he will be here soon....my LDR....im not coping too well at all emotionally but do not want to upset him by making his time with me a downer...you know what I mean. I am happy about moving but reluctant and frightened....before he moved out he was unsure of what he wanted...said he had lost love for me....told me things that made me feel he really was not into me and now this whole turnaround where he is saying he wants me in his life more then anything. Is it possible to have a change of heart?maybe it was there the whole time it just took some time away to see it....I don't want to move all my things there and he turns around and says he doesn't know what he wants again...that would just blow me away. Anyhow....just another vent TY.
Author Aussie65 Posted November 18, 2007 Author Posted November 18, 2007 well hes been and gone...what a short visit .He bought some lease papers up for me to sign but I don't know how we are going to do it. He has taken almost a $500 a week pay cut to move to this other state!that is $2000 a month!We both have thought about how we are going to do this as he has little savings and so do I.It is not the bond for the house as I have that already on this place,it is not moving everything as I have friends that will move us....it is the fact his wages are not the best,that to apply for a job there he would have to apply for it on his own as I have to find a job there first and the rent would be half of his income so I don't know how we can do this! I am so disappointed!..I told him this and he said to me....that if worse comes to worse he will just have to keep coming up!heck.....like that's going to work!I am fed up already and it's going on three weeks....the saying hello and goodbye....the anxiety that I have developed through this is not good on my health.I find myself having many sleep deprived nights and worrying all the time.I had my first panic attack last Saturday night!...I have to say I am a bit bitter right now for the fact he moved...WHY???..why move and take such a pay cut?...so what if he didn't like the city here much?we live in suburbia,it's not that bad and lifes what you make of it right?How long until he gets sick of that job and the smaller wage and want to leave that one? If only he would just come back...take up his old job again which he knows is here...all would be fine! but now I do have to ask myself why he really left and if I do move there will it make any difference?.He had a lot of doubts before but now I am developing them....almost to a point of giving up!...I can't deal with this...I need to seek professional help for the anxiety and thoughts that keep going on in my mind. We never made love yes he has been sick and I am worried about that!...he has been getting pain under the right rib all weekend....I wanted to take him to hospital and he would not go....yet I feel once he gets down there he is likely to go and here I am stuck here,what can I do if he has to go in for a few days? I love him but find myself blaming him for situations...I blame him for the loss of income...I blame him for us not being able to now move together due to the lousy income he is making!...his friend is saying to him...so what have you done with your money the last year....obviously he is listening to someone interfering in his life...maybe he left because he felt he was supporting me which he wasn't...I work,I paid half the rent as well as the phone and elect...he paid for our extra TV channels and dinner when we went out and my income was half of what he was making.I often wondered myself what he did with him money as it was not spent here... Anyhow...a vent,he just left...it's 4 am in the morning...I can't sleep!....I can't talk to him about this!!!I tried....all he says is if worse comes to worse I will have to stay here and he will come up....that wont work for long....I know it wont!.I am going crazy as it is living like this and missing him!.. I was moving into a new home here...my job doesnt pay a great deal so financially I am doing it a bit tough right now and dont know how I am going to make ends meet....the whole moving State for another job has left me confused and not knowing how to make ends meet!. What can I say to him to make him realise he needs to come home!???How can I make him see his act was selfish...that if he stays a year here we can put money behind us THEN move but right before Christmas he moves...takes up a lousy paying job....is no longer helping pay half the bills here...I am doing it hard and wondering how I am going to survive Christmas....how much worse can things get?..
dancinggal Posted November 19, 2007 Posted November 19, 2007 Wow it seems like you have a lot of issues going on here! When is coming back to see you next? I think you guys need a good, long talk. Definately ask him his motivations for moving away from a good job and his girlfriend, and how he expects you to work out if he isn't trying to save money so you guys can be together. Tell him you are worried about your future together, and that it keeps you up at night and you need a real plan, real objectives and deadlines as it when things will be done. You guys need to work out all this stuff, or you are going to feel anxious until you do. Next time he has an hour or two to chat on the phone, make sure you make him answer these questions. And write some down as well, that way even if the conversation gets off track, at least you have a list of concerns you need addressed. Good luck and let us know what happens!!!
Author Aussie65 Posted November 19, 2007 Author Posted November 19, 2007 He doesn't want to talk about them Dancing!he just says I worry too much or im insecure and that things will work out.I cannot believe he has taken this job....he told me he always wanted to work for this company but for that less of pay?I have seen him leave a job which was paying a little more then what he is getting now. I feel cheated out here if I follow him when he was going away to pay his bills but how can he if he is earning less then he was here?I see no point to all of this and his weekends he comes up here....yes,he will be coming up again this weekend.He hated this place yet what time does he have there apart from work to do anything else?.....I simply do not understand and the whole thing has left me spiralling downhill. He called me up a little while ago to tell me he is looking at a house in some small town....first we were going to live near the beach...NOW...he wants to move to some town half hour away. Today I was thinking to a point where I was about to just say...enough is enough and severe ties with the man I love...it's affecting my life,my work....everything and this would all be solved if he just came home.
dancinggal Posted November 19, 2007 Posted November 19, 2007 Aussie, I'm glad you're thinking of leaving him. If you don't feel good about what's going on and he's not willing to help you out and talk about how to make you feel better, thats so not good. I guess its ultimatium time: shape up or its over. Harsh, but at least that way he knows how you feel. When things are so tough that your how life is being affected, then that's not good.
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