OpenBook Posted November 17, 2007 Posted November 17, 2007 To the OP: This is predatory behavior. You know she is vulnerable (in a strange country without her family), and attractive (smiles; doesn't smell), and is unlikely to cause trouble for you in the office (doesn't want to create an international incident for the company) - and you're pouncing right on that sh*t, aren't you. You talk of being "respectful of her feelings" - and in the same breath you say all you want from her is to share "a special moment." You have no idea, nor do you care, what SHE wants or what is best for HER. Much less what THE LAW says about this kind of behavior. You're creeping me out, man. Now I'm thinking of all the MM at MY office and wondering if they've ever exhibited this kind of behavior. Uggghh... As The Stomach Turns.
JamesM Posted November 17, 2007 Posted November 17, 2007 I question whether Joe Lover is here anymore. I don't think he received the answer he wanted.
ICallsEmAsISeesEm Posted November 17, 2007 Posted November 17, 2007 You guys are wasting bandwidth telling him to direct his attention to his wife. The guy's obviously looking to get his d*ck wet and this is the perfect little victim - she'll be GONE in another two months. No danger of a clingy OW showing up on his front porch demanding he leave his wife. Someone he doesn't have to really make ANY effort on a daily basis to keep in contact and all the work involved keeping an OW on the side. She's perfect. So the phoney will continue chatting her up, letting her think he likes her as person when all he's really doing is trying to get in her burka before she goes back to India. How noble and admirable. I hope this guy overplays his hand and she goes to HR to complain about sexual harrassment - and his wife finds out.
Cobra_X30 Posted November 17, 2007 Posted November 17, 2007 I question whether Joe Lover is here anymore. I don't think he received the answer he wanted. I offered! If he would have been willing to prove this was a good idea! Which in my mind is pretty impossible. But at least I gave him the option to try.
White Flower Posted November 18, 2007 Posted November 18, 2007 Here is a serious question for you: Are you persuing her because you think she is an easy mark?
elaina Posted November 18, 2007 Posted November 18, 2007 FYI: I already posted this to the Business and Professional Relationships forum, but after browsing this category and reading some responses in the thread about if this category legitimizes cheating, I thought this might be a more appropriate category to post under. For the most part, I got bashed in the other forum. If I get bashed here, too, so be it. Just sharing my feelings and inquiring........thanks. ------------------------------------------ I'm middle-aged and married with a couple kids. Just met a new Indian female co-worker here in the office. Her background is, she's from India, also married with identical aged kids, she and her family came over to the US a few years ago for two years with her former employer. As she told me, they never had intentions of staying in the US permanently. They returned to India. She joined my multi-national corporation over in India. And now she's just arrived here in my US office for a 3 month stay. Her family is back in India. She's staying with a friend that happens to live one town away from our office location. She's been here in my office for just over a week, and she'll leave to go back to India in January. Most certainly, I'll never see her again. I am very attracted to her. Introduced myself on the day she came over, and we've been very friendly and chit-chatty since. With the kids, and her previous stay in the US, and the cultural differences, there's lots for us to talk about. She's very attractive, very sweet personality, and she does NOT smell like other Indians I work with. She's rather quiet, naturally, since she really knows nobody in the office here. Keeps to her work on her PC in her cube. Eats her lunch at her desk. I am basically the only person that she interacts with in the office. We don't work together on the same systems, but I have been chatting her up daily, via email, instant messenger, brief cube pop-ins and kitchen run-ins. In our various conversations to date, she has said that I have a good sense of humor, I'm the perfect family man, I really make her laugh, and that I have such beautiful children. I pay the humor card pretty well. The other day, as she was eating lunch and working at her desk, I told her she was entitled to a one hour lunch, and she should take it or I'll be forced to come down and drag her out of her cube. I then said that maybe we can hook up for lunch later in the week, if her workload permits. Well, we haven't lunched together yet, in the kitchen or at the eateries right around our building. We have walked out the door together at the end of the day one time, talking on the way to the garage. I drive and she takes the subway at the station next to our garage. And just yesterday we had a nice 15 minute conversation after running into each other alone in the kitchen area prior to her leaving for the day. Pretty good rapport going. I'm very interested in having a brief encounter with this woman. Not necessarily looking to sock a home run with her, but just a walk down first base would even be nice. As stated previously, we're both married, and time is of the essence. I need to steer the conversation to hint to her that I like her, but obviously need to do it in a way that is respectful to her and hopefully won't totally upset her, given that we work in the same office for the next several weeks. I will keep chatting her up about lunch. Was thinking of offering to drive her home on the next rainy day, especially with it getting dark after 4pm nowadays. She walks about a mile from the subway station to her friend's house. She has skiied once and didn't do that well. Was thinking of maybe asking her if she'd like to try it again with me.....an afternoon on the slopes. Just this AM, I left her a quick "guess who?" on her white board, as she wasn't in the office at the time. She came in very late and stopped by my cube to inquire if I was the one who left the note. She told me she was stuck at hom on early AM conference calls for work. I have yet to receive any indication from her that I'm stepping on her toes, so to speak. Whenever we are talking, she's always smiling. That's good. Should I keep up the friendly and humorous conversations and wait until a week or so before she's about to leave? If she isn't receptive to something together, then at least she'll be leaving in a few days and will never see me again, and she probably wouldn't make an issue of it at work. Or is there something that I can say or do now, so in the positive light that we share the same feelings and ideas, we have a few weeks to pick and choose a time and place to share a special moment or two together? Anybody out here been in a similar situation, either in my shoes or hers? Ouch! That is very sad. Don't you think that your wife would be hurting if she knew this? Would you be hurting if your wife wants to do something like that with another guy? This Indian lady sounds like a very cool lady, but please remember she has a husband who hopefully loves her and doesn't deserve to be hurt because many people do get hurt when their loved one cheats. Please just be her friend because a good friend is worth a lot.
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