JoeLover Posted November 16, 2007 Posted November 16, 2007 FYI: I already posted this to the Business and Professional Relationships forum, but after browsing this category and reading some responses in the thread about if this category legitimizes cheating, I thought this might be a more appropriate category to post under. For the most part, I got bashed in the other forum. If I get bashed here, too, so be it. Just sharing my feelings and inquiring........thanks. ------------------------------------------ I'm middle-aged and married with a couple kids. Just met a new Indian female co-worker here in the office. Her background is, she's from India, also married with identical aged kids, she and her family came over to the US a few years ago for two years with her former employer. As she told me, they never had intentions of staying in the US permanently. They returned to India. She joined my multi-national corporation over in India. And now she's just arrived here in my US office for a 3 month stay. Her family is back in India. She's staying with a friend that happens to live one town away from our office location. She's been here in my office for just over a week, and she'll leave to go back to India in January. Most certainly, I'll never see her again. I am very attracted to her. Introduced myself on the day she came over, and we've been very friendly and chit-chatty since. With the kids, and her previous stay in the US, and the cultural differences, there's lots for us to talk about. She's very attractive, very sweet personality, and she does NOT smell like other Indians I work with. She's rather quiet, naturally, since she really knows nobody in the office here. Keeps to her work on her PC in her cube. Eats her lunch at her desk. I am basically the only person that she interacts with in the office. We don't work together on the same systems, but I have been chatting her up daily, via email, instant messenger, brief cube pop-ins and kitchen run-ins. In our various conversations to date, she has said that I have a good sense of humor, I'm the perfect family man, I really make her laugh, and that I have such beautiful children. I pay the humor card pretty well. The other day, as she was eating lunch and working at her desk, I told her she was entitled to a one hour lunch, and she should take it or I'll be forced to come down and drag her out of her cube. I then said that maybe we can hook up for lunch later in the week, if her workload permits. Well, we haven't lunched together yet, in the kitchen or at the eateries right around our building. We have walked out the door together at the end of the day one time, talking on the way to the garage. I drive and she takes the subway at the station next to our garage. And just yesterday we had a nice 15 minute conversation after running into each other alone in the kitchen area prior to her leaving for the day. Pretty good rapport going. I'm very interested in having a brief encounter with this woman. Not necessarily looking to sock a home run with her, but just a walk down first base would even be nice. As stated previously, we're both married, and time is of the essence. I need to steer the conversation to hint to her that I like her, but obviously need to do it in a way that is respectful to her and hopefully won't totally upset her, given that we work in the same office for the next several weeks. I will keep chatting her up about lunch. Was thinking of offering to drive her home on the next rainy day, especially with it getting dark after 4pm nowadays. She walks about a mile from the subway station to her friend's house. She has skiied once and didn't do that well. Was thinking of maybe asking her if she'd like to try it again with me.....an afternoon on the slopes. Just this AM, I left her a quick "guess who?" on her white board, as she wasn't in the office at the time. She came in very late and stopped by my cube to inquire if I was the one who left the note. She told me she was stuck at hom on early AM conference calls for work. I have yet to receive any indication from her that I'm stepping on her toes, so to speak. Whenever we are talking, she's always smiling. That's good. Should I keep up the friendly and humorous conversations and wait until a week or so before she's about to leave? If she isn't receptive to something together, then at least she'll be leaving in a few days and will never see me again, and she probably wouldn't make an issue of it at work. Or is there something that I can say or do now, so in the positive light that we share the same feelings and ideas, we have a few weeks to pick and choose a time and place to share a special moment or two together? Anybody out here been in a similar situation, either in my shoes or hers?
Owl Posted November 16, 2007 Posted November 16, 2007 Have you considered pursuing your wife with the same vigor and effort? I'd bet that would avail you a LOT more than pursuing another married woman. Why inflict the damage of an affair on her and her family just for your own whim?
Meaplus3 Posted November 16, 2007 Posted November 16, 2007 FYI: I already posted this to the Business and Professional Relationships forum, but after browsing this category and reading some responses in the thread about if this category legitimizes cheating, I thought this might be a more appropriate category to post under. For the most part, I got bashed in the other forum. If I get bashed here, too, so be it. Just sharing my feelings and inquiring........thanks. ------------------------------------------ I'm middle-aged and married with a couple kids. Just met a new Indian female co-worker here in the office. Her background is, she's from India, also married with identical aged kids, she and her family came over to the US a few years ago for two years with her former employer. As she told me, they never had intentions of staying in the US permanently. They returned to India. She joined my multi-national corporation over in India. And now she's just arrived here in my US office for a 3 month stay. Her family is back in India. She's staying with a friend that happens to live one town away from our office location. She's been here in my office for just over a week, and she'll leave to go back to India in January. Most certainly, I'll never see her again. I am very attracted to her. Introduced myself on the day she came over, and we've been very friendly and chit-chatty since. With the kids, and her previous stay in the US, and the cultural differences, there's lots for us to talk about. She's very attractive, very sweet personality, and she does NOT smell like other Indians I work with. She's rather quiet, naturally, since she really knows nobody in the office here. Keeps to her work on her PC in her cube. Eats her lunch at her desk. I am basically the only person that she interacts with in the office. We don't work together on the same systems, but I have been chatting her up daily, via email, instant messenger, brief cube pop-ins and kitchen run-ins. In our various conversations to date, she has said that I have a good sense of humor, I'm the perfect family man, I really make her laugh, and that I have such beautiful children. I pay the humor card pretty well. The other day, as she was eating lunch and working at her desk, I told her she was entitled to a one hour lunch, and she should take it or I'll be forced to come down and drag her out of her cube. I then said that maybe we can hook up for lunch later in the week, if her workload permits. Well, we haven't lunched together yet, in the kitchen or at the eateries right around our building. We have walked out the door together at the end of the day one time, talking on the way to the garage. I drive and she takes the subway at the station next to our garage. And just yesterday we had a nice 15 minute conversation after running into each other alone in the kitchen area prior to her leaving for the day. Pretty good rapport going. I'm very interested in having a brief encounter with this woman. Not necessarily looking to sock a home run with her, but just a walk down first base would even be nice. As stated previously, we're both married, and time is of the essence. I need to steer the conversation to hint to her that I like her, but obviously need to do it in a way that is respectful to her and hopefully won't totally upset her, given that we work in the same office for the next several weeks. I will keep chatting her up about lunch. Was thinking of offering to drive her home on the next rainy day, especially with it getting dark after 4pm nowadays. She walks about a mile from the subway station to her friend's house. She has skiied once and didn't do that well. Was thinking of maybe asking her if she'd like to try it again with me.....an afternoon on the slopes. Just this AM, I left her a quick "guess who?" on her white board, as she wasn't in the office at the time. She came in very late and stopped by my cube to inquire if I was the one who left the note. She told me she was stuck at hom on early AM conference calls for work. I have yet to receive any indication from her that I'm stepping on her toes, so to speak. Whenever we are talking, she's always smiling. That's good. Should I keep up the friendly and humorous conversations and wait until a week or so before she's about to leave? If she isn't receptive to something together, then at least she'll be leaving in a few days and will never see me again, and she probably wouldn't make an issue of it at work. Or is there something that I can say or do now, so in the positive light that we share the same feelings and ideas, we have a few weeks to pick and choose a time and place to share a special moment or two together? Anybody out here been in a similar situation, either in my shoes or hers? You don't need to have a brief fling! You need to focus on YOUR Wife. Is something missing in your marriage? AP:)
reboot Posted November 16, 2007 Posted November 16, 2007 Sorry, there isn't a "teach me how to cheat" forum.
dbtmarley Posted November 16, 2007 Posted November 16, 2007 I got some good curry recipes.. You can invite her over to your house and cook her some good traditional indian food. She might smell a little though after she eats...
reboot Posted November 16, 2007 Posted November 16, 2007 I work with an Indian guy. He smiles a lot when I talk to him. I wonder if that means he's gay and wants me?
JamesM Posted November 16, 2007 Posted November 16, 2007 So, you got bashed on the other forum, and hope for better treatment here? Since you double posted, I will, too. Here is my response from that thread..... In our various conversations to date, she has said that I have a good sense of humor, I'm the perfect family man, I really make her laugh, and that I have such beautiful children. Sorry, none of these compliments indicate romantic interest. In fact, they indicate the perfect foundation (at least in her mind) for a great friendship. She figures that since you are "the perfect family man," and you know that she is married...you will be a good friend to her while she is in this unfamiliar country. Surely by now...being middle-aged, you know when a woman says that you are a perfect family man, she has no interest of making you a cheater. She may admire you for who you are and how you treat your family, but only because she likes that quality of honesty. I guarantee you that if you make any advances on her, she will not only be shocked, but she will be hurt and will break your friendship. I could be wrong...if she wants your family for her own...ie replace your wife, then maybe she would be interested but your marriage will be over. Besides, what about YOU? What about that "perfect family man" and beautiful children? Forget about her.
Crestfallen_KH Posted November 16, 2007 Posted November 16, 2007 Wow. Just....wow. Are you serious? Wow. Ok, I do have some advi...hmmm wait, no...no I don't. Just....wow.
dbtmarley Posted November 16, 2007 Posted November 16, 2007 I work with an Indian guy. He smiles a lot when I talk to him. I wonder if that means he's gay and wants me? Do you stalk him around the office and hope for 15 minute chats near the coffee machine like the other person?
Cobra_X30 Posted November 16, 2007 Posted November 16, 2007 Joe, I think the question that really needs to be answered is Why do you want an affair? Are you unhappy at home? I suppose I could tell you how to play this provided you have a really smashing reason to hurt everyone involved.
reboot Posted November 16, 2007 Posted November 16, 2007 Do you stalk him around the office and hope for 15 minute chats near the coffee machine like the other person?No, but only cause he smells. (That was a JOKE by the way, before anyone starts bashing me. People can be so sensitive here.... )
TogetherForever Posted November 16, 2007 Posted November 16, 2007 No, but only cause he smells. (That was a JOKE by the way, before anyone starts bashing me. People can be so sensitive here.... ) :laugh:I understood that so-called JOKE. TeeHee.
Meaplus3 Posted November 16, 2007 Posted November 16, 2007 I work with an Indian guy. He smiles a lot when I talk to him. I wonder if that means he's gay and wants me? Does he have a dot on his head? Sorry Could not resist!
torranceshipman Posted November 16, 2007 Posted November 16, 2007 Lol, 'does not smell like the other Indians I work with'?! Are you for real?? My advice is to break that line out, Casanova, I'm sure she'll be so bowled over by your charm you'll be at first base in no time! Ohhh, that and the fact you're a middle aged married dude with kids - what a catch for her! Bet she lies awake at night thinking she can't believe she's run into such a winner-bet she's sorry she ever got married in the first place now!! Lol, sorry, couldn't help it (-; And stop following the poor girl around!!!
woe_is_me Posted November 16, 2007 Posted November 16, 2007 FYI: I already posted this to the Business and Professional Relationships forum, but after browsing this category and reading some responses in the thread about if this category legitimizes cheating, I thought this might be a more appropriate category to post under. For the most part, I got bashed in the other forum. If I get bashed here, too, so be it. Just sharing my feelings and inquiring........thanks. ------------------------------------------ I'm middle-aged and married with a couple kids. Just met a new Indian female co-worker here in the office. Her background is, she's from India, also married with identical aged kids, she and her family came over to the US a few years ago for two years with her former employer. As she told me, they never had intentions of staying in the US permanently. They returned to India. She joined my multi-national corporation over in India. And now she's just arrived here in my US office for a 3 month stay. Her family is back in India. She's staying with a friend that happens to live one town away from our office location. She's been here in my office for just over a week, and she'll leave to go back to India in January. Most certainly, I'll never see her again. I am very attracted to her. Introduced myself on the day she came over, and we've been very friendly and chit-chatty since. With the kids, and her previous stay in the US, and the cultural differences, there's lots for us to talk about. She's very attractive, very sweet personality, and she does NOT smell like other Indians I work with. She's rather quiet, naturally, since she really knows nobody in the office here. Keeps to her work on her PC in her cube. Eats her lunch at her desk. I am basically the only person that she interacts with in the office. We don't work together on the same systems, but I have been chatting her up daily, via email, instant messenger, brief cube pop-ins and kitchen run-ins. In our various conversations to date, she has said that I have a good sense of humor, I'm the perfect family man, I really make her laugh, and that I have such beautiful children. I pay the humor card pretty well. The other day, as she was eating lunch and working at her desk, I told her she was entitled to a one hour lunch, and she should take it or I'll be forced to come down and drag her out of her cube. I then said that maybe we can hook up for lunch later in the week, if her workload permits. Well, we haven't lunched together yet, in the kitchen or at the eateries right around our building. We have walked out the door together at the end of the day one time, talking on the way to the garage. I drive and she takes the subway at the station next to our garage. And just yesterday we had a nice 15 minute conversation after running into each other alone in the kitchen area prior to her leaving for the day. Pretty good rapport going. I'm very interested in having a brief encounter with this woman. Not necessarily looking to sock a home run with her, but just a walk down first base would even be nice. As stated previously, we're both married, and time is of the essence. I need to steer the conversation to hint to her that I like her, but obviously need to do it in a way that is respectful to her and hopefully won't totally upset her, given that we work in the same office for the next several weeks. I will keep chatting her up about lunch. Was thinking of offering to drive her home on the next rainy day, especially with it getting dark after 4pm nowadays. She walks about a mile from the subway station to her friend's house. She has skiied once and didn't do that well. Was thinking of maybe asking her if she'd like to try it again with me.....an afternoon on the slopes. Just this AM, I left her a quick "guess who?" on her white board, as she wasn't in the office at the time. She came in very late and stopped by my cube to inquire if I was the one who left the note. She told me she was stuck at hom on early AM conference calls for work. I have yet to receive any indication from her that I'm stepping on her toes, so to speak. Whenever we are talking, she's always smiling. That's good. Should I keep up the friendly and humorous conversations and wait until a week or so before she's about to leave? If she isn't receptive to something together, then at least she'll be leaving in a few days and will never see me again, and she probably wouldn't make an issue of it at work. Or is there something that I can say or do now, so in the positive light that we share the same feelings and ideas, we have a few weeks to pick and choose a time and place to share a special moment or two together? Anybody out here been in a similar situation, either in my shoes or hers? I've only skipped through your post and not even finished it .. You sound like a sleazebag .. Why don't u ask your W instead of us
nadiaj2727 Posted November 16, 2007 Posted November 16, 2007 ------------------------------------------ I'm middle-aged and married with a couple kids. I'm very interested in having a brief encounter with this woman. Not necessarily looking to sock a home run with her, but just a walk down first base would even be nice. These two thoughts contradict each other. In the first one, you are married with kids. In the second one, you are trying to "date" someone like you're single. You need to decide. Do you want to be single and available to date someone? Or do you want to be married? You can't be both (without hurting a lot of people, including your wife and kids, and probably eventually being found out, therefore no longer being both). I'm sorry but it's a simple concept: married people can't date. If you don't understand that concept, none of us are going to be able to help you.
TogetherForever Posted November 16, 2007 Posted November 16, 2007 All I have to say on this thread is- . TF
PLAYBRAT Posted November 16, 2007 Posted November 16, 2007 Exactly w hat do 'Indian people" smell like?? I don't think I have ever been close enough to know....
NoIDidn't Posted November 16, 2007 Posted November 16, 2007 I doubt very seriously that this nice, Indian woman, that smells good, is interested in you, Joe. She is probably just being nice. Why does it seem like you are obsessed with her and bordering on stalking? You'd better be careful with this one. Blow back burns!!!
PLAYBRAT Posted November 16, 2007 Posted November 16, 2007 This is to the poster: Please respect this woman. As you described her..it does not sound like she would be the type to embark on a torrid marital affair. Why would you want to corrupt these things you seem to admire so much about her?? I am not trying to be mean...but please step back and think about your actions and what you are thinking about. THIS is how affairs begin. You already said you are interested in something "brief" with this woman. That in itself is disrespectful. Have MORE respect for her AND your self.....and your MARRIAGES than to have this selfish attitude. You may be attracted to her..but you have complete control over YOUR actions. Remember that!!! PS: I DON'T think she would appreciate the "smelly Indian" comment either......Regardless of how FUNNY you are.
justice Posted November 17, 2007 Posted November 17, 2007 Maybe you should consider your wife and beautiful children before do anything. Does anyone here have an anti-nausea med? I feel like puking after reading this.
Woggle Posted November 17, 2007 Posted November 17, 2007 What you are considering is very wrong but why do I get the feeling that if you are a woman these same women condemning you would be cheering you on. Women high five and cheer other women that cheat.
torranceshipman Posted November 17, 2007 Posted November 17, 2007 Yeah right Woggle, I think if any woman got a high 5 for doing this, it'd be a TINY minority encouraging her - the rest of us would find it just as hideous as you do. Just read Gwyneth's latest threads and you'll see the majority of us flaming her for being proud of doing this type of thing. Without the racist comments and mid life crisis, I might add!!
Woggle Posted November 17, 2007 Posted November 17, 2007 Yeah right Woggle, I think if any woman got a high 5 for doing this, it'd be a TINY minority encouraging her - the rest of us would find it just as hideous as you do. Just read Gwyneth's latest threads and you'll see the majority of us flaming her for being proud of doing this type of thing. Without the racist comments and mid life crisis, I might add!! Gwyneth is an OW but there is an attitude amongst women that men deserve to be cheated on because they think that all men cheat so in their mind it is just payback against the male gender.
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