catgirl80 Posted November 16, 2007 Posted November 16, 2007 Hi there. Well I just found this website and think its awesome how people in my situation can just come on here and explain their relationship dilemma's. Well here is mine.. I'm a 27 yr old attached (not married) female...whose been involved with my other half for a crazy 11 years! Yes...since I was 16. He is 14 years my senior...and no I didn't know his age when we met..neither was I serious about him. Well at the age of 18 I became pregnant..and had a beautiful baby boy..who is now 8 years old. Decided it would be in the best interest of my son to be raised by both his parents..even though I was and have never really been in love with his father. I have just tried to make the best of things for all these years.Well...11 years has lead me to multiple affairs..with married men..as I wasn't really looking to change my status. Well just recently I have hooked up with a 28 yr old SINGLE guy..a first for me..and I dont know what it is...but my emotions are out of control. We click on every level..and I don't really know what to do. He is aware of my situation..but don't really talk about it much..as I don't want to make him feel awkward..but I really do think I'm falling for him. Out of all the affairs I've had..I've had this quilt creep on me when I came home..but this time its really different. I dont feel any quilt with this guy. He really is a great guy..and I catch myself thinking about him alot. I just don't really know what to do. Should I continue on this affair..which I know will only escalate my feelings for him? Or should I just end this before it gets out of hand? I'm not sure how he feels..but I do think we have this connection..but because of my being involved with someone else...he probably just doesnt want to open up...or maybe he too just likes the sex...lol Any help or advise would be very much appreciated...thanks
Cobra_X30 Posted November 16, 2007 Posted November 16, 2007 Does your Husband know about the affairs? If he doesnt know, or he does know and isnt happy about them the obvious choice is to get a divorce. It doesnt really matter if this single guy likes you or just wants a booty call. If you dont change your status to available you will never ever find out for true! Besides your teaching your son bad relationship skills! If you think he doesnt know your fooling yourself. I was in his shoes once... and I didnt really get it at the time, but once I got old enough, everything clicked! You have a child... I implore you to stop living for yourself. Best of Luck!
bish Posted November 16, 2007 Posted November 16, 2007 Hi there. Well I just found this website and think its awesome how people in my situation can just come on here and explain their relationship dilemma's. Well here is mine.. I'm a 27 yr old attached (not married) female...whose been involved with my other half for a crazy 11 years! Yes...since I was 16. He is 14 years my senior...and no I didn't know his age when we met..neither was I serious about him. Well at the age of 18 I became pregnant..and had a beautiful baby boy..who is now 8 years old. Decided it would be in the best interest of my son to be raised by both his parents..even though I was and have never really been in love with his father. I have just tried to make the best of things for all these years.Well...11 years has lead me to multiple affairs..with married men..as I wasn't really looking to change my status. Well just recently I have hooked up with a 28 yr old SINGLE guy..a first for me..and I dont know what it is...but my emotions are out of control. We click on every level..and I don't really know what to do. He is aware of my situation..but don't really talk about it much..as I don't want to make him feel awkward..but I really do think I'm falling for him. Out of all the affairs I've had..I've had this quilt creep on me when I came home..but this time its really different. I dont feel any quilt with this guy. He really is a great guy..and I catch myself thinking about him alot. I just don't really know what to do. Should I continue on this affair..which I know will only escalate my feelings for him? Or should I just end this before it gets out of hand? I'm not sure how he feels..but I do think we have this connection..but because of my being involved with someone else...he probably just doesnt want to open up...or maybe he too just likes the sex...lol Any help or advise would be very much appreciated...thanks Yes..have the decency to break up with your bf. Its not fair to him what you are doing. You're a cheater and he deserves better. You could also do the right thing by him and if he wants custody of his son, he should get it.
Author catgirl80 Posted November 16, 2007 Author Posted November 16, 2007 Does your Husband know about the affairs? If he doesnt know, or he does know and isnt happy about them the obvious choice is to get a divorce. It doesnt really matter if this single guy likes you or just wants a booty call. If you dont change your status to available you will never ever find out for true! Besides your teaching your son bad relationship skills! If you think he doesnt know your fooling yourself. I was in his shoes once... and I didnt really get it at the time, but once I got old enough, everything clicked! You have a child... I implore you to stop living for yourself. Best of Luck! -------------------------------------------------------------------- No my other half doesnt know about anything. We have a pretty good relationship...or I should say friendship..and we both definately put our son as a priority! I dont go around acting differently...or give my son less attention for any of this. My timing for my affair is generally perfect..while my sons in school and hes at work. I still lead the normal life..cooking..cleaning..and whatever else i gotta do. I work 2 jobs as well.. As for you response Bish...pretty pathetic there hun. Just cause I'm doing what I'm doing...doesnt mean I dont take care..and WONT take of my son or responsibilites! I have and will ALWAYS will provide for my son...if you dont know the WHOLE story dont be so ignorant!
bish Posted November 16, 2007 Posted November 16, 2007 As for you response Bish...pretty pathetic there hun. Just cause I'm doing what I'm doing...doesnt mean I dont take care..and WONT take of my son or responsibilites! I have and will ALWAYS will provide for my son...if you dont know the WHOLE story dont be so ignorant! Never said anything about you not taking care of your kid because you are a cheater. Point is, the father should not have to be without his son because of what YOU did. Oh ya..thats fair....cheat on him then take his son away. Now THAT is pathetic.
Owl Posted November 16, 2007 Posted November 16, 2007 So if your relationship with your son's father is a 'friendship'...does he know you've been sleeping with other men for the last 11 years? Would he be upset to know? I'm betting he'll be deeply hurt by your actions, personally. While YOU might feel its a "friendship"...I'm guessing he hasn't seen it that way. I agree with Bish...you need to fess up to him and tell him what's going on. And then the TWO of you need to decide if you have a relationship going forward or not. Pretty simple...NOT easy....but simple.
Cobra_X30 Posted November 16, 2007 Posted November 16, 2007 No my other half doesnt know about anything. We have a pretty good relationship...or I should say friendship..and we both definately put our son as a priority! I dont go around acting differently...or give my son less attention for any of this. My timing for my affair is generally perfect..while my sons in school and hes at work. I still lead the normal life..cooking..cleaning..and whatever else i gotta do. I work 2 jobs as well.. As for you response Bish...pretty pathetic there hun. Just cause I'm doing what I'm doing...doesnt mean I dont take care..and WONT take of my son or responsibilites! I have and will ALWAYS will provide for my son...if you dont know the WHOLE story dont be so ignorant! Yeah, there is a good chance that your son doesnt know at this point. However, things kinda clicked the older I got. You cant sweep all of these things under the rug unless you are really good at acting, and that would probably take more energy than you have. He is going to learn all of his early relationship skills from you! So just pay careful attention to what you teach him. I say this mostly because I've been where he is, and I've had to relearn everything, and its been tough on me. Kids are so much more perceptive than you can imagine. Plus you may think your doing a great thing by hanging on to this marriage, and I want you to know it's better for a kid to see a divorce and a happy marraige than two parents miserable with each other. I'd never be the person I am today if I didnt have a great dad and stepmom! Besides are you really happy living the way you do?
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