HitByABrick Posted November 16, 2007 Posted November 16, 2007 Hi all. I've been perusing the board and staying on the outside, but utilizing so many tips and comments that you all share. I too am struggling to move on from my xMM, that I work with, no less, and am wondering - do any of you ever feel like this is your last chance at love, so you hang on?? I just turned 40 (ouch - i never admit it) and have never been married. I've been in ltr for about 15 years on and off. And all of a sudden though, I'm getting that feeling of (pathetic I know), what if i never meet anyone else? On top of it, my xMM is 12 yrs younger. And of course, there are the never ending comments from people as to the "why" are you still single? Guess telling them about the relationship with xMM of 8 mos is out of the question! And finally, there's the gnawing reality that he has a lifetime ahead of him to have a family and kids, and my clock is ticking really really fast! I've never been the jealous type, but ugh, I hate the real world...
White Flower Posted November 16, 2007 Posted November 16, 2007 Hi all. I've been perusing the board and staying on the outside, but utilizing so many tips and comments that you all share. I too am struggling to move on from my xMM, that I work with, no less, and am wondering - do any of you ever feel like this is your last chance at love, so you hang on?? I just turned 40 (ouch - i never admit it) and have never been married. I've been in ltr for about 15 years on and off. And all of a sudden though, I'm getting that feeling of (pathetic I know), what if i never meet anyone else? On top of it, my xMM is 12 yrs younger. And of course, there are the never ending comments from people as to the "why" are you still single? Guess telling them about the relationship with xMM of 8 mos is out of the question! And finally, there's the gnawing reality that he has a lifetime ahead of him to have a family and kids, and my clock is ticking really really fast! I've never been the jealous type, but ugh, I hate the real world... Have you thought about trying a web-dating service? Your clock is ticking fast! For some, 40 is too late. Sorry, don't mean to disappoint, but you really need to get out there and find someone who wants to have a baby and fast! Are you saying that you are still involved with xMM? Has he offered to sire a child for you?
Meaplus3 Posted November 16, 2007 Posted November 16, 2007 Hi all. I've been perusing the board and staying on the outside, but utilizing so many tips and comments that you all share. I too am struggling to move on from my xMM, that I work with, no less, and am wondering - do any of you ever feel like this is your last chance at love, so you hang on?? I just turned 40 (ouch - i never admit it) and have never been married. I've been in ltr for about 15 years on and off. And all of a sudden though, I'm getting that feeling of (pathetic I know), what if i never meet anyone else? On top of it, my xMM is 12 yrs younger. And of course, there are the never ending comments from people as to the "why" are you still single? Guess telling them about the relationship with xMM of 8 mos is out of the question! And finally, there's the gnawing reality that he has a lifetime ahead of him to have a family and kids, and my clock is ticking really really fast! I've never been the jealous type, but ugh, I hate the real world... Your clock is ticking! Do have any hobbies? I ask this because it's a great way to meet other's. How about friend's, who might know single men? I think you need to just get out there and look, but in the right place's. Good luck! AP:)
Author HitByABrick Posted November 16, 2007 Author Posted November 16, 2007 No, we are not still seeing each other in that way. Its actually only been an EA to tell the truth. Sex has never been the foundation. Working together has its challenges though and I've learned to hide a lot of my feelings. Its pretty hard to say you're ok when tears are right on the cusp constantly! Anyway, I've never tried a dating site. Truth is, I live in a large city. Many of my friends are still single at this age. Its pretty much the norm here. Up until now, I didn't feel so bad about it, but getting involved with someone unavailable and younger has made me rethink my priorities. Truth is, I would like to have kids, but don't actually NEED to. On the other hand, I do feel like I need to have a life partner but am worried I'm getting too old to find one! Does that make sense?
Lyssa Posted November 16, 2007 Posted November 16, 2007 I don't think 40 is that old! Plus it's never too late to find a partner. All you have to do is get out there and find one! LOL - easier said than done, right? It never hurts to try though. How about hanging out with your single friends at a place where you can meet single men? I would prefer to not look for love and wait for it to come to me (it's when you least expect it that love comes knocking on your door!). If you're looking for a lifetime partner because you feel that you're too late to find one then go ahead and join a dating service or something. If everything goes well, then you can start a family. There are other options to have a baby without having a man in your life. It depends on what you're really looking for.
Gwyneth Posted November 16, 2007 Posted November 16, 2007 I'm only 26 and family and friends always ask me too, "why are you single, when are you getting married." I'm in no rush, thank you I dated a man 16 years older than me. While it was hard because of the age difference (although he was still more immature than me), age doesn't matter. And I always think the guy I'm with is "the one." Turns out the next guy can be the one too. So have faith in that. You can and will find someone you can find more happiness with.
Author HitByABrick Posted November 16, 2007 Author Posted November 16, 2007 Thanks ladies for your input..I hadnt realized everyone was a youngster here!!
child_of_isis Posted November 16, 2007 Posted November 16, 2007 Wait a minute now....40 is by no means a signal to throw in the towel. I am 48, never married, one grown child in college (so she is gone 95% of the time)... and am doing just fine. Marriage is no guarantee of a lifetime partner. Divorces are as common as house flies....ack! Swat! If I would ever feel the yearning for another child, I would just go borrow one from my relatives for a few hours. I'm sure that would bring me back to reality. In other words....40 is grande. Have fun with it. My mom swears that 50 is even better.Thanks ladies for your input..I hadnt realized everyone was a youngster here!!
Geishawhelk Posted November 16, 2007 Posted November 16, 2007 Think of it another way. Any woman in love with a man, knows she's going out with someone younger.... I'm 50, my fellah's 45. But in any case, no matter how 'old' they are, they never seem to get past the age of 9.....: rolleyes:
Lyssa Posted November 16, 2007 Posted November 16, 2007 Have fun with it. My mom swears that 50 is even better. Really?? Mann... I have 23 years more to go!
Geishawhelk Posted November 16, 2007 Posted November 16, 2007 By the way, Child of Isis, you're Mum's right....
marlena Posted November 16, 2007 Posted November 16, 2007 Wait a minute now....40 is by no means a signal to throw in the towel. I am 48, never married, one grown child in college (so she is gone 95% of the time)... and am doing just fine. Marriage is no guarantee of a lifetime partner. Divorces are as common as house flies....ack! Swat! If I would ever feel the yearning for another child, I would just go borrow one from my relatives for a few hours. I'm sure that would bring me back to reality. In other words....40 is grande. Have fun with it. My mom swears that 50 is even better. Quote: Loved this post. To the Op, no, the other side is not always greener. Marriage is not a ticket to the gateway of heaven and like Isis said neither is it a safeguard against loneliness. Some of the loneliest and unhappiest people are in marriages. Plain and simple, there are no guarantees. Just live your life as fully as you can. Rejoice in what you have, be it your health, your family, your friends , your freedom and if it is to happen it will. If it doesn't, that's fine too. Contentment comes from within. If you love children, then, why not volunteer to work with children such as orphans for example? The rewards would be tremendous! I work with children and the love I receive every day is equal to the love I receive from my daughter. Isis, good for your mom!!
OpenBook Posted November 16, 2007 Posted November 16, 2007 Think of it another way. Any woman in love with a man, knows she's going out with someone younger.... I'm 50, my fellah's 45. But in any case, no matter how 'old' they are, they never seem to get past the age of 9.....: rolleyes: So you're doomed either way.:D But oh those younger men... hot hot HOT!! In other words....40 is grande. Have fun with it. My mom swears that 50 is even better. By the way, Child of Isis, you're Mum's right.... That's great news!! I'm in my Fabulous 40's and so far this has been the best decade of my life. I'm having a great time!! For the first time in my entire life, I am FREE AT LAST. Thank God Almighty!! :D:bunny::bunny:
Author HitByABrick Posted November 16, 2007 Author Posted November 16, 2007 Oh ladies , ladies, thank you for those words! I do feel much better having read them. I just had my birthday and although I don't feel, look or act it, I kind of felt like, geez, will i stil have the opportunities and experiences I've had thus far in my 40's? I guess that answer is yes. But reading it from others is always so helpful to the psyche.. Thank you!
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