Lauriebell82 Posted November 16, 2007 Posted November 16, 2007 Just because someone is from Idaho does not make them hicks to be ashamed of, you dumbass. You are probably hickier than his parents are. You definitely are pretty ignorant. I think you are quite redneck yourself by your comments. I think they were just kidding around. Actually, I think lashing out at people on loveshack is pretty ignorant as well.
squeak Posted November 16, 2007 Posted November 16, 2007 I know it's been asked previously, but it never really applied to me before. So, I'm wondering how often everyone sees their SO? Please tell me how often, and how long you've been together. Also, what do you usually do when you're together? Do you plan date nights, or is it more hanging out, or what? Which is more important to you - quality, or quantity? (Not talking about sex here, just time together! ) Also, how do you deal with the holidays? Not all of us share holidays with our SO and our SO's family, but holiday schedules can interrupt with couple-time. How do you deal with that? Myself, I'm feeling very disappointed that I don't get to see my BF for over a week due to Thanksgiving... Is that normal? Or am I too smitten? SG what you are really wanting to know is if you should be feeling insecure, or not, right? Who is to say if one person's timeline is right or wrong? I think at the 2 month mark I met his family @ thanksgiving, but we had discussed, quite rationally, if it was too early for that or were we both comfortable with the pace. Okay, so- you both have been together a month or so? That is a lot of pressure. Better to start dating a few months before Thanksgiving or after Xmas. Seriously-it puts so much pressure on! Now by Christmas I would say is time to start meeting eachothers 'rents. But after 1 month....ermmm not so much. As for all the rest of the scheduling-it really relies more on what your individual schedules are like than anything else. Me-I like to settle into a pattern where I know I can be more independent after the intial infatuation stage dies down, becuase i have a lot of work to tend to! And friendships and family to maintain!
sb129 Posted November 16, 2007 Posted November 16, 2007 I think they were just kidding around. Actually, I think lashing out at people on loveshack is pretty ignorant as well. Whoa. What happened there? I missed something!
squeak Posted November 16, 2007 Posted November 16, 2007 I think they were just kidding around. Actually, I think lashing out at people on loveshack is pretty ignorant as well. RC -You probably didn't realize but I am sure Cobra was joking with SG just to put her mind at ease, I doubt he is judgemental or cares much about the actual comment he made beyond trying to assuage SG's fears. Also-you'll see that some posters are regualr contributors and SG and Cobra have a joking repoitiore with eachother. It is too bad that you got started on the wrong foot with him because he gives excellent honest advice from a male perspective.
Cobra_X30 Posted November 16, 2007 Posted November 16, 2007 Just because someone is from Idaho does not make them hicks to be ashamed of, you dumbass. You are probably hickier than his parents are. You definitely are pretty ignorant. I think you are quite redneck yourself by your comments. Hey Chica, It was a joke! However the idea behind it was meaningful, and as such I will address your thoughts. Anyone who has ever spent time in Idaho knows that they have a slightly different culture than say... California. It's that culture clash I was referencing. That make sense?
Author Star Gazer Posted November 16, 2007 Author Posted November 16, 2007 SG what you are really wanting to know is if you should be feeling insecure, or not, right? Who is to say if one person's timeline is right or wrong? I think at the 2 month mark I met his family @ thanksgiving, but we had discussed, quite rationally, if it was too early for that or were we both comfortable with the pace. Okay, so- you both have been together a month or so? That is a lot of pressure. Better to start dating a few months before Thanksgiving or after Xmas. Seriously-it puts so much pressure on! Now by Christmas I would say is time to start meeting eachothers 'rents. But after 1 month....ermmm not so much. It actually will be two months on Thanksgiving...
Lauriebell82 Posted November 16, 2007 Posted November 16, 2007 It actually will be two months on Thanksgiving... I wouldn't worry about it SG..his family lives out of town, which makes things more complicated. You'll meet them when he is ready, I didn't meet my bf's family until like 6 months into our relationship (of course that is because he only really goes home on holidays). And now I'm going home with him for both Thanksgiving and Christmas. Maybe he is old fashioned and wants to wait until the relationship gets more serious and/or you have been together longer. Like I said, give him a chance to miss you like crazy.
allina Posted November 16, 2007 Posted November 16, 2007 It actually will be two months on Thanksgiving... I think 2 months in to a relationship is VERY soon to be meeting parents. I have zero interest in meeting a guy's parents after 3 months or introducing him to mine. I met my bf's parents after 6 months which I felt was soon. Normally I wouldn't do family oriented stuff with a bf's parents like New Years Eve and holiday dinners after only 6 months, I did with my current because they live on the East Coast so I knew I wouldn't get another chance for a long time. I actually would think it a little strange if such a new bf wanted me to come to his family Thanksgiving
Author Star Gazer Posted November 16, 2007 Author Posted November 16, 2007 I actually would think it a little strange if such a new bf wanted me to come to his family Thanksgiving I agree. I realize now that he's damned if he does, damned if he doesn't. Ahhh, the drama of the holidays.
allina Posted November 16, 2007 Posted November 16, 2007 I agree. I realize now that he's damned if he does, damned if he doesn't. Ahhh, the drama of the holidays. What are you getting him for Christmas??
Author Star Gazer Posted November 16, 2007 Author Posted November 16, 2007 What are you getting him for Christmas?? Nothing. JK. Sh*t, I have no idea. I'll cross that bridge around December 22nd.
oppath Posted November 17, 2007 Posted November 17, 2007 My ex lived with her parents. It honestly made the break up so much more difficult, because I had dinner with them once a week. I felt like...family. And there was pressure on the holidays, such as "do I get the parents a gift?" when if she weren't living with them, I'm not sure I would have even met them yet! For dinners I'd sometimes bring over wine, etc, but a gift?!? PRESSURE. SG, you are damned if you do or don't too. I doubt you'd feel comfortable hanging out for hours at a time with his extened family. If there is a chance for you to meet them casually for 1 hour, that is cool, but it's not a big deal. It is soon. I know with my family, I am incredibly stressed when I see them. I'd hate to bring a new GF into that. This will all play itself out. I'd suggest you say to your bf "can we have an evening to celebrate thanksgiving together before we go see our families?" I know you both appear busy, but if you want to feel like a priority, ask for time. Don't sit there thinking "if he isn't making time for me, then I'm not a priority to him." You very may well be, but it is such a stressful time of the year, that he may need to know "I'd like to have a dinner with you."
oppath Posted November 17, 2007 Posted November 17, 2007 I think 2 months in to a relationship is VERY soon to be meeting parents. I have zero interest in meeting a guy's parents after 3 months or introducing him to mine. I met my bf's parents after 6 months which I felt was soon. Normally I wouldn't do family oriented stuff with a bf's parents like New Years Eve and holiday dinners after only 6 months, I did with my current because they live on the East Coast so I knew I wouldn't get another chance for a long time. I actually would think it a little strange if such a new bf wanted me to come to his family Thanksgiving I'm with you Allina. I once dated a girl, it was only 6 weeks in, and her mom was flying into town. I thought it was way too soon to meet her. She was all for it, but not just having dinner for 1 hour. She wanted me to spend lots of time with her mom. It freaked me out and put all kinds of pressure on me. She even wanted just me to entertain her mom while she was busy at work, because I had some flexibility. It turned out she was able to join us, but apparently, I offended her and her mom when after hanging out with them for 5 hours, opted to watch a basketball game with my buddy instead of meeting up with them 3 hours later for dinner. For me, parents = serious relationship. I am old fashioned. I call the dad "sir."
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