Passionate69 Posted November 15, 2007 Posted November 15, 2007 what is emotional affair exactly ? is that really considered cheating? like example; talking to oppossite sex online about intimacy. you two are been talking in a months now. isn't that harmful ? even thought you are leaving in a long distance and not seeing in person.
JackJack Posted November 15, 2007 Posted November 15, 2007 what is emotional affair exactly ? is that really considered cheating? like example; talking to oppossite sex online about intimacy. you two are been talking in a months now. isn't that harmful ? even thought you are leaving in a long distance and not seeing in person. An emotional affair can be just as damaging as a physical one, maybe even more so. You're sharing a bond with the heart and mind, not just the body. It doesn't matter if its LD or not. If you are sharing things with someone of the opposite sex that you do NOT want your spouse or partner to know or would not share infront of them, then there is a problem.
Crestfallen_KH Posted November 15, 2007 Posted November 15, 2007 An emotional affair is devastating. Believe me, I know. Basically, if you wouldn't type what you are typing to this person if your SO was standing over your shoulder, then you're in one.
Author Passionate69 Posted November 15, 2007 Author Posted November 15, 2007 An emotional affair is devastating. Believe me, I know. Basically, if you wouldn't type what you are typing to this person if your SO was standing over your shoulder, then you're in one. I don't get it. what do you mean ?
Crestfallen_KH Posted November 16, 2007 Posted November 16, 2007 I took from your original post that you are worried if you are possibly engaging in an online emotional affair. So, what I am saying is, if the words you are typing to that person aren't words that you would type if your partner were standing behind you and reading over your shoulder, then you know you are engaging in questionable behavior.
oppath Posted November 16, 2007 Posted November 16, 2007 I took from your original post that you are worried if you are possibly engaging in an online emotional affair. So, what I am saying is, if the words you are typing to that person aren't words that you would type if your partner were standing behind you and reading over your shoulder, then you know you are engaging in questionable behavior. Agree, we can argue "what makes something cheating" all we want, but what matters is trust, transparency, and the fidelity of the relationship. If your SO can't know about this relationship, if there are things you write/talk about that you couldn't possibly share with your SO, then you are acting in a way that weakens the fidelity of the relationship. So let's get rid of the word cheating. Let's look at the nuts and bolts: the fidelity of the relationship. If you are doing something that you feel would upset your SO, and you hide it from them, then you are destroying the fidelity of the relationship. Some people say "that is cheating," some people say "sex is cheating." It doesn't matter. What matters is weakending the relationship through deceit, even if it is deceit by omission.
joriel Posted November 16, 2007 Posted November 16, 2007 9/10 if you're asking the question, "Am I involved in an emotional affair?" You are. An emotional affair is the sharing of emotional intimacy between 2 people, of which at least one of them has a significant other. It's cheating sans sex if you will. So, yes, emotional affairs are considered cheating. And no, I'm not judging you.
Nixson Posted November 16, 2007 Posted November 16, 2007 what is emotional affair exactly ? is that really considered cheating? like example; talking to oppossite sex online about intimacy. you two are been talking in a months now. isn't that harmful ? even thought you are leaving in a long distance and not seeing in person. Hi Passionate69. I believe using the word 'fidelity' would be apt. That was how I started my affair. We didn't engage in sexual conversation. Most of the conversations we had were about my life in general and vice versa. There were things I didn't tell my xW that I tell my former OW now GF. Whatever happened at work or during golf, I share it with my OW. My xW wasn't interested to know while OW showed interest and would always asked about work etc. Later on, it became more intimate. That's usually how it all started.
cj1988 Posted November 16, 2007 Posted November 16, 2007 EA's lead to PA's ........no one should be having intinate coversation with the opposite sex at all......it only leads to BAD things that in the long run HURT EVERYONE ! Especially the innocent spouse !
Author Passionate69 Posted November 16, 2007 Author Posted November 16, 2007 I stopped talking to him yesterday. the main reason why i responded to his message is i was just bored that day and made fun of him but i did not expect our communication took us almost 2 months, then suddenly i realized what the hell am i doing ? where these goes next ? he likes to talk sex a lot and even asked me what happened in our bed room between me and my H. he even told me if we met in person and have sex, he make it sure i will come and he can give me the best sex that im missing in my marriage. sometimes i feel arouse when he talk sex.
Crestfallen_KH Posted November 16, 2007 Posted November 16, 2007 Well, I'm glad you stopped talking to him. Now you just have to continue not talking to him. Of course you get aroused when he talks about sex. That's the way we are wired. But is this "arousal" with someone you've never met more important than your marriage? I've seen your other posts re: sex in marriage. It sounds as if you are either looking for, or putting yourself in a position to "find" a way to cheat. If you are so unhappy with the lack of sex in your marriage, you should really talk to your husband, suggest marital counseling, or otherwise work with him on the issue. If that doesn't work and you are so unhappy about the lack of sex, then end the marriage. Whatever you do, don't begin an affair while still married. It's really the cruelest, most hurtful form of betrayal. I speak from experience. So, please don't do that to someone you care about.
cj1988 Posted November 16, 2007 Posted November 16, 2007 agree it is the worst thing you can ever do to someone is cheat ! There are no words to describe that type of pain !
Author Passionate69 Posted November 16, 2007 Author Posted November 16, 2007 Thanks every one especially crestfallen for the good input it's help me to enlighten my cloudy brain and heart.
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