Vita-Nuova Posted November 15, 2007 Posted November 15, 2007 ...please confirm? I work in a large organisation that is split into different groups, I float from group to group in an advisory capacity and at the moment I'm working very closely with one of these groups. It's made up of six men. One of these men started work with this group shortly after I had started my placement with them and was very friendly right from the word go. He's very hard working, very professional and very gregarious - organising dinner parties, drinks after work, trips to the theatre etc. Although I really like the guy and enjoy working with him, I have always felt vaguely uncomfortable when around him. Eye contact seems to go on for too long and he compliments me. I can't pinpoint what else about him that makes me feel uneasy. No big deal, hey? Well, I have been quashing those uncomfortable feelings for the last six months as they're based on such trivia, but today another colleague said "OOooo, M [the guy] really likes you! He won't even look at me!" I was pretty stunned to have this possible explanation of why I've been feeling uncomfortable presented to me. This guy is married (happily), I am not sexually attracted to him but I really enjoy working with him. How do I remain friends but put any possible flirtation firmly in its place? Do I need to draw attention to it in a jokey way? Should I be thinking its nothing as he is happily married? What do you think? Any further clarification needed? Thank you for reading!
Enema Posted November 15, 2007 Posted November 15, 2007 Don't do or say anything to draw attention to this unless he does something obvious, like flirt openly or ask you out.
Author Vita-Nuova Posted November 15, 2007 Author Posted November 15, 2007 Okay. And what would be a constructive way of dealing with my uncomfortable feelings? Do you think I should make a concerted effort to put them to one side?
Enema Posted November 15, 2007 Posted November 15, 2007 Can't help you with that one sorry. I can't really relate to compliments and good eye contact making me uncomfortable
Author Vita-Nuova Posted November 15, 2007 Author Posted November 15, 2007 Really? I find compliments inappropriate in a work situation and although eye contact is fine, it can (and does) go on for too long for comfort.
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