angie16 Posted November 15, 2007 Posted November 15, 2007 I am an idiot. We met up a couple times, (its been 11 weeks), talked on the phone a few times, it was all positive. I even started dating other people and working out, lost some weight, got a promotion, kept thinknig positive, etc. BUT He didn't want me back. Felt better off and told me the other night on the phone. It is the worst feeling in the world. DO NOT BREAK NC EVER. If someone dumped you it means they don't want to be with you. PERIOD. If they want you back they will come and get you, you don't have to remind them of it. DO NOT BREAK NC. My heart is in a thousand pieces right now. I am shattered that the love of my life could do this to me, and be happier without me. I should have done NC and just moved on. Karma to boot...my 3rd good friend since my break up is now engaged to her guy. It is the worst pain i have ever felt. I am happy for them so much, but the fact I am not with my guy that I loved so deeply is actually phsycially PAINFULL, and hearing him say that he doesn't want anything to do with me anymore is the most horrible thing that has ever happened to me. take my advice. NO CONTACT.
Ashbash11 Posted November 15, 2007 Posted November 15, 2007 Ouch, that IS painful! I'm sorry that you have to go through that..... I will take your advice 100%. You are totally right. If they dumped you, they have made it clear that they do not want to be with you and if for some reason they decide otherwise, it is their job to come back to you.... If they don't, you shouldn't care anyway because you'll be off to bigger and better things.
curiousnycgirl Posted November 15, 2007 Posted November 15, 2007 Angie - DO NOT beat yourself up over this!!! First and foremost you are human and you were deeply in love. Secondly he sent very mixed signals and you only wanted to see the best in the situation. You will get through this. Start NC as of the last call and know that you are doing it for YOU. It is your time to heal. Yes you have been dating, but clearly your heart wasn't in it - any new guy you saw didn't stand a chance while your ex was lingering. Post instead of contacting!!!! It's the very best advice we can give.
Yamaha Posted November 15, 2007 Posted November 15, 2007 Guilt plays a big part in the dumper trying to ease your pain by offering to keep in touch. By staying in contact you do not heal and you still hold on to hope ( if you are still in love ). You can't make someone be with you if they don't want to and you really wouldn't want to. Never go back to the well a second time unless you have no feelings for them and only want a friendship.
bigheartkindsoul Posted November 15, 2007 Posted November 15, 2007 Yes I agree to NC, I haven't because like you say they dumped you because they no longer wanted you, they may want to remain friends and be all nice but this is def to free themselves of their own guilt in most instances.
codergrrl Posted November 15, 2007 Posted November 15, 2007 I just had my NC start today. I found out that the love of my life married someone else that had been dating off and on after me. He doesn't even know her that well. He told me that he still loves me but he can't change what has happened. I still feel bad but at least I have some closure. But I made it clear that I don't want him to contact me anymore and I will do the same. It is for the best.
Author angie16 Posted November 15, 2007 Author Posted November 15, 2007 you can do it. I am starting day 1 again too! (its been almost 3 months). its necessary. totally necessary. I am lucky that I am dating someone great, he knows the whole story, knows how fresh my break up is, trying not to make him a rebound, but that may be inevitable. in any case, with the holidays coming i am so sad, so sad, but he let me go. Period.
Recommended Posts