Blue Eyed Brain Posted November 15, 2007 Posted November 15, 2007 My friend is just divorced and has a client that she thinks is hot. They have been flirty and do the light arm touch, but no dates. She asked me what kind of hints or moves can she make to have this guy KNOW that she will be receptive to his invitation and that this is not just a flirt/fantasy thing. I have no idea what to tell her...... can you offer any suggestions....?
brothermartin Posted November 15, 2007 Posted November 15, 2007 If she's hot, she could just ask him out, or hint to him that he should ask her out.
Author Blue Eyed Brain Posted November 15, 2007 Author Posted November 15, 2007 I think she said "we should go for a drink, call me." He texts her to meet for early morning coffee or maybe meet up at a Mall to shop, but they never seem to hook up outside the office. She told me that she was looking in a mag and saw a suede jacket and told him that he would look hot in it. She then told me that a week later, he bought the jacket. They text each other every day but no meet up??? I don't know what to tell her....
Cobra_X30 Posted November 15, 2007 Posted November 15, 2007 I think she said "we should go for a drink, call me." He texts her to meet for early morning coffee or maybe meet up at a Mall to shop, but they never seem to hook up outside the office. She told me that she was looking in a mag and saw a suede jacket and told him that he would look hot in it. She then told me that a week later, he bought the jacket. They text each other every day but no meet up??? I don't know what to tell her.... Ahem... Tell your "friend" that she just needs to keep up the contact and things will happen. The more contact the better! Dont rush it... when the time is right and he is comfortable... he will pounce. Otherwise... I'm not going to suggest game playing. I do that and it works well, but it isnt good advice!
Author Blue Eyed Brain Posted November 15, 2007 Author Posted November 15, 2007 So, no move, just connecting is the way to go?
Cobra_X30 Posted November 15, 2007 Posted November 15, 2007 So, no move, just connecting is the way to go? All but the really shy guys like to do the chasing! The harder he feels like he worked for her the more value he will put on her! You are thinking long term right? If she just wants a roll in the hay... that different.
Author Blue Eyed Brain Posted November 15, 2007 Author Posted November 15, 2007 NOt sure what she wants - but connecting with this guy is her objective now. What if he's really shy? How is she going to get that impression?
Cobra_X30 Posted November 15, 2007 Posted November 15, 2007 NOt sure what she wants - but connecting with this guy is her objective now. What if he's really shy? How is she going to get that impression? Well, if he is really shy, she needs to be more aggressive in her approach. Thats all. I'm 110% in favor of the connection approach. Spend time together and build a friendship! I didnt want to say this earlier, because you can seriously mess it up if done wrong, but sometimes its good to make him believe there are other guys who are interested in her. Usually this is best accomplished by talking about how she turned other guys down.
Author Blue Eyed Brain Posted November 15, 2007 Author Posted November 15, 2007 I've done this in the past and I got very insecure boyfriends from it. Which was not a turn-on for me. She's attractive enough that he will probably realize this on his own, no? Men must talk. I'm sure around the water cooler the guys comment on the women at work and if she comes up, she's attractive enough to get more than one "hubba hubba" from another guy.
Cobra_X30 Posted November 15, 2007 Posted November 15, 2007 I've done this in the past and I got very insecure boyfriends from it. Which was not a turn-on for me. She's attractive enough that he will probably realize this on his own, no? Men must talk. I'm sure around the water cooler the guys comment on the women at work and if she comes up, she's attractive enough to get more than one "hubba hubba" from another guy. Thats why I dont recommend it. If you dont do it right it will blow up in your face every time! Ummm... yeah guys talk, but our tastes are not always the same. I've had GF's that got very mixed reviews from the buddies. From she is a 10 to ugghhh more like a 6. Dunno, how it works. Besides if she is really that attractive... he may have a hard time believing that she is interested.
Author Blue Eyed Brain Posted November 15, 2007 Author Posted November 15, 2007 Besides if she is really that attractive... he may have a hard time believing that she is interested. You have a valid point. She's quite attractive and maybe he thinks she out of his league?? Funny thing is; she doesn't think she's the hotty that she is.... she always tells me that I'm pretty when she has the good looks. I need to talk to this guy. Maybe that's it!!! She can ask him to join her friends for a drink and we can help or hurt????
Cobra_X30 Posted November 15, 2007 Posted November 15, 2007 You have a valid point. She's quite attractive and maybe he thinks she out of his league?? Funny thing is; she doesn't think she's the hotty that she is.... she always tells me that I'm pretty when she has the good looks. I need to talk to this guy. Maybe that's it!!! She can ask him to join her friends for a drink and we can help or hurt???? My experiences with playing matchmaker are pretty poor! Usually I get some initial success and then disaster a few months down the road. I think there is something with messing with the natural course of events. Thats just my thing though. If the guy is that lacking in confidence, she will get tired of that pretty soon, dont you think? We are actually talking about a friend right?
Lyssa Posted November 15, 2007 Posted November 15, 2007 Going out for drinks with friends could be good AND bad! What if he saw you and ended being interested in you?? That happens a lot... and it's not pretty!
Author Blue Eyed Brain Posted November 16, 2007 Author Posted November 16, 2007 We are actually talking about a friend right? Yes. My friend. She's rusty at dating and I know less than her. I'll find out more tomorrow night what going on.....
Author Blue Eyed Brain Posted November 18, 2007 Author Posted November 18, 2007 I would never hit on a client. I understand that you shouldn't mix business with pleasure, but where does a newly divorced woman find companionship? We went to a local dinner club and had a great time, but the 'talent' looked used and worked over. It also seemed that everyone was there to collect numbers and not connect. I told her to compliment him in a way that would make him feel like she is receptive to a date..... that's the best advice I can give.
Cobra_X30 Posted November 18, 2007 Posted November 18, 2007 I understand that you shouldn't mix business with pleasure, but where does a newly divorced woman find companionship? We went to a local dinner club and had a great time, but the 'talent' looked used and worked over. It also seemed that everyone was there to collect numbers and not connect. I told her to compliment him in a way that would make him feel like she is receptive to a date..... that's the best advice I can give. Thats the best advice possible! If that doesnt work... tell her to just grab his crotch.
Author Blue Eyed Brain Posted November 19, 2007 Author Posted November 19, 2007 If she's hot, she could just ask him out, or hint to him that he should ask her out. She did this. She told him that they should go for a drink. His response was "definitely." (??????)
Author Blue Eyed Brain Posted November 22, 2007 Author Posted November 22, 2007 Total embarrassment................ My friend and I were at a dinner club and she spots two guys in back of me. She tells me that she likes the dark haired one (his name is Mike) and would I start a conversation with them. (Sure, I'm always the one starting everything). Well, I didn't have to............ Mike's friend Bob started a conversation with me when my friend walked away. Bob was charming, handsome and funny... My friend comes back and here's us talking about the Tiramasu and she turns to tell him "it's better than an orgasm." Mike walked away leaving my friend wondering what happened? What happened? That was as smooth as sharp rocks on your feet.....
Racquel Colette Posted November 23, 2007 Posted November 23, 2007 she has already blown it by being too obvious. He has no serious intentions, he is enjoying the flirting, that's about it. If he was for real, he'd call her and ask her out on a date like a man does when he's interested. Flirting over text is all just fun and games.
Author Blue Eyed Brain Posted November 23, 2007 Author Posted November 23, 2007 she has already blown it by being too obvious. He has no serious intentions, he is enjoying the flirting, that's about it. If he was for real, he'd call her and ask her out on a date like a man does when he's interested. Flirting over text is all just fun and games. We just met them. My point is that she is so desperate to meet men that she's using a bulldozer to do it. And it's getting her exactly what she doesn't want. Bob was great. A few minutes later he came back to me and started chatting. Mike wanted to leave, so Bob said good night and that he thought it was a pleasure meeting me. Hence, my friend got mad at me for getting a favorable response and her nothing. I can't win.
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