Steffie575 Posted November 14, 2007 Posted November 14, 2007 Sorry, no one else to talk to..this little thought has been bugging me. When my ex (of six yrs) was breaking up with me, I asked him, "Do you feel anything for me anymore? Don't you have any feelings still left for me?" he actually said... "I'm not gonna answer that. It wouldn't be fair to her." (Referring to his new girlfriend who he had been dating for a week!) Let me get this straight....we were best friends, closer than close, made plans for the future, together SIX YEARS....but somehow his new ONE WEEK gf deserves more respect than I do? That could be the most hurtful thing about this, looking back on it. Wtf.
michael d Posted November 16, 2007 Posted November 16, 2007 steffie- aloha from hawaii. sorry to hear about this situation you are in. i am in a tough spot as well right now. for him to say that to you, well, it's just heartless. but i guess he has lost his feelings for you. it's sad.. i don't know your situation but myself , my wife of 7 years has moved out and is trying to figure out if she still wants to be with me. she said she has fallen out of love, and we have been together 15 years ! i always thought that love is up and down, hot and cool at times and needs to be nurtured, it seems that some don't want to work at it and just want to bail for greener grass somewhere else. but they will not find it so easily. all i can say is, it is his problem, he will encounter the same result with his new chick and probably will never be happy until he realizes what he is all about. again, so sorry. but keep strong because you cannot change his feelings. you can only control your own reactions. you appear young and beautiful, and good things are coming your way. stay positive, steffie. one day he will realize he blew it !!!! michael d
Author Steffie575 Posted November 16, 2007 Author Posted November 16, 2007 steffie- aloha from hawaii. sorry to hear about this situation you are in. i am in a tough spot as well right now. for him to say that to you, well, it's just heartless. but i guess he has lost his feelings for you. it's sad.. i don't know your situation but myself , my wife of 7 years has moved out and is trying to figure out if she still wants to be with me. she said she has fallen out of love, and we have been together 15 years ! i always thought that love is up and down, hot and cool at times and needs to be nurtured, it seems that some don't want to work at it and just want to bail for greener grass somewhere else. but they will not find it so easily. all i can say is, it is his problem, he will encounter the same result with his new chick and probably will never be happy until he realizes what he is all about. again, so sorry. but keep strong because you cannot change his feelings. you can only control your own reactions. you appear young and beautiful, and good things are coming your way. stay positive, steffie. one day he will realize he blew it !!!! michael d Thank you for responding! yes, I always thought love was something to be nurtured, that had ups and downs. I expected us to last through the hard times. I do believe that he feels now that his new relationship is great...but the truth is that he barely knows her. It's a honeymoon period....when the newness and the perceived "better" ness of that relationship wears off...he may think back on me. I just dont see how feelings for someone are completely lost so fast after 6 yrs. But youre right, i cant control him. Good luck with your situation...it hurts when someone seems to not want you anymore. My ex told me the same thing....that he wasnt in love with me anymore. XOXO best wishes.
michael d Posted November 17, 2007 Posted November 17, 2007 hi steffie. yes it's hard when you are not wanted by someone you still love.. went to counseling today and my wife says she has feelings for someone else. a friend from work. they just went surfing a couple times and talked. just like your ex, she sees a new guy and thinks he will be the answer., but we JUST are starting our separation to get some space and think, and immediately she thinks she has found something. nothing happening yet but i know it's coming. she seems to have nothing left for me, but isn't ready for divorce. wow where does that leave me? i never thought she would put me on the back burner. not sure what to do. any advice as a woman? as you said, how can someone just change their feelings, commitment, and love to another? i feel for you, so much. grief is the pits. try to take it a day at a time. cliche but true. i still can't believe she is pursuing someone else. what happened to our love? anyway, write back if you want, this openness talking seems to help, if only for a minute. see ya steffie! mike d
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