trevor_n Posted November 14, 2007 Posted November 14, 2007 ok heres my story my girlfriend of a year, started acting all distant a while back. FIRST BREAKUP the more distant she cated the more the tension untill one day i sat her down and she told me , she's not too sure if she still loves me.very painfull , so we breakup and i move out, she moves back to school (we had been living together) a few days later she texts me back saying how sorry she is about everything and how mislead she got, she claimed to be mislead by friends etc..i probed her further aski8ng if there was a guy involved,,she told me of a guy she had met a prty who wanted her..i never gave it much thought as here we were back together. SECOND BREAKUP About a few weeks after the first breakup,things seemed to be going well, the pain was diminishing.One morning i get up early and take her phone to check the time,while i was at it i decided to go through her messages.I then went to the delivery reports folder and found a number that was constantly being texted to but yet wasnt saved in the phone book,some of the text messages were sent at times i had just stepped out.I clled the numebr and a guy picked up on the other side. i woke her up to confront her, i was told its the guy from the party, the same guy i hadnt given much thought to in the first breakup, upon further probing she told me that she had kissed him.i went balistic, but still i forgave her and clmed down,in the days that followed she would still communicate with the guy and when confronted she would become very stubborn and argumentative, telling the guy is just a friend.this escalated tension and led to another breakup. 3rd breakup exactly a week later after the second breakup she comes to me again,asking for forgivness , telling me that she had learned her lesson crying like a little baby.. i demanded a full confession and it was revealed to me that she had gone a nd slept with this guy just two days after we had broken up and again on a saturday,i was mortified.But my friends convinced me to take her back ,she seemed genuinly sorry and was crying buckets. so i atke her back..things seemed to go well although i hd a lot of bitterness in me , but i was recovering and i could feel those old times coming back.out of the blue she starts acting funny again..alas we break up again... alas a week later she comes back again asking for forgivness!!! this time she was hysterical..i deamnded a confession again, and it was revealled that she had slept with the guy again!!!!!!!!!..this time i was resolute, but that part of me that loves her took over. its been a few days since we are back together, but man my heart is swimming in pain at what she did, im thinking of ending it, what she did was cruel and evil, and im uneasy what if she does it again!!! but there is that part of me that loves her, but my logic tells me she will do it again,the pain she has caused me is undescribable it gives me sleepless nights help!!
jtalia Posted November 14, 2007 Posted November 14, 2007 I can understand it happening once. But the continued pattern of the same incident over and over. She will not change. As much as it hurts, I would try to move on.
ninjaturtles Posted November 14, 2007 Posted November 14, 2007 I would stop seeing her...its hard I know....but what if she leaves you for this guy later on..... Or maybe you should just take a break, take some time apart...tell her you need to think and sort things out.....let her realise that you can do WITHOUT her....after adequate time (if she truly loves you, she will not run off and sleep with this other guy again), Anyway after adequate time, depending on the way she behaved during the 'trial period' you could talk about things again...I dont know..sort out trust issues etc. The thing is if she knows you will always take her back anytime she messes up( by simply crying) then she will take you for granted. Trust me, girls can CRY..when they want to..not a problem so dont be too moved by tears!!!(coming from a girl) I would just let her go, but since you really love her, then you could try out option B..... Goodluck.xx
ncpd25 Posted November 14, 2007 Posted November 14, 2007 There's obviously a definite pattern here. As ninja said, she cries and she gets what she wants. I understand your feelings for her and how much it would hurt to lose her or be away from her for a period of time. However, each time you take her back after a breakup, you continue to drown in sorrow time and time again. I think you're torturing yourself. The way I see it, she knew exactly what happened the first time (and second) she did what she did, yet, she goes and does it again. If she had genuine feelings for you, she wouldn't intentionally hurt you like that. She would take your feelings into consideration and not stomp on your heart like. She even goes behind your back as soon as you walk out the door and starts texting this guy. Yes, I'm slightly jaded (I'm working past that) but, it seems there are others o LS that think you need to either take an extended break from her or let her go completely. Your friends aren't doing you any favors by telling you to take her back. They're not the ones that have to deal with the heartache each time. I think it's time to man up and leave her be and not crumble each time she wimpers. Tough decision but.....
serendip Posted November 14, 2007 Posted November 14, 2007 dude, walk away...before your anger overtakes you b/c you are taking it from her I went through a very similiar situation. My ex told me she met a guy and they emailed/text and just hug(found the truth later she spent the night together). I forgave her and asked her not to contact him again...she promised. I later found out she kept in contact with the guy...I was hurt again and my anger increased b/c I kept it in b/c I loved her. For a while she finally kept her promise...then she went out with him behind my back again....betrayal after betrayal. I should have walked away...instead I seeked revenge and screwed with her head. Just walk away now...hardest thing to do b/c you really love this person but she will betray you again and again
Lee725 Posted November 14, 2007 Posted November 14, 2007 Walk away honey, she is not going to change anytime soon, she has formed a habit with him and she knows you will keep taking her back. As long as you let her, she will continue to hurt you and ninja is spot on, girls can turn it on when they please and manipulate people (i am a girl too). As hard as it will be, go NC with her, that way she might realize that you cant/wont keep falling for her crap.
Author trevor_n Posted November 17, 2007 Author Posted November 17, 2007 huh!!,, well you guys were all right every single one of you..what i wrote in my thread was just the tip of the iceberg...yesterday a friend came to me, and warned, he had just talked to a guy who happned to know the guy my girl ( now ex) had cheated with..it turns out a lot more than what i know had actually happened,according to my friends data source the girl had slept with tha guy repeatedly on and off..not just once like i was made to beleive. i confronted the girl about, immediatley when i raised the question she turned pale in the face,for the fisrt time a full confession came out..oh my word it was horrible to hear,the magnitude to which she had actually cheated on me was tenfold more thn i had originally thought,she slept with guy multiple times , often when i would call her in the morning she was in the other guys bed,she played me like a yo-yo for months!!!, the first time she had sex with the guy was when we were still living together without any sign of problems!!, she wasnt afraid of using gods name in vain to bck her lies " she would say stuff like " i swear by god baby, we only kissed " and stuff like " i swear to god i never went his house ,he is not back in the picture" !!!!!!!!!!!!!! after this confession i promptly ended the relationship, but that was after telling her what an evil, cunning manipulative , deceitful slut she was , and that she must come straight from the depths of hell itself!!!, this is someine who i made countless sacrifises for and really cared for. thanks a lot for the advise guys,,lesson learnt always trust your gut instinct!!
sb129 Posted November 17, 2007 Posted November 17, 2007 Well! At least you got to draw a line under it. Good luck for the future, sounds like you are ready to move on!
Author trevor_n Posted November 17, 2007 Author Posted November 17, 2007 i am really ready to move on,ive seen just how cruel people out there can be, no one deserves to be treated like that, i blame myself for ignoring the warning signs..that girls wrap sheet was longer than the statue of liberty, the amount of things she did with that guy behind my back was mind boggling , she couldnt even remember how many times she went over to the guys place to have sex with him....amazing
SunnyLady Posted November 17, 2007 Posted November 17, 2007 A very manipulative girl... another "Jezebel". She has lost out on a lot. This other guy she is with now is just as much a victim as you are. She really has got issues. Anyway she is not worth your time. You deserve to be with someone you can trust. Someone who will not "use" you as a means to her end. I'm gald you told her off! She deserved each and every word that came forth from your mouth Lol. And she needs to have some respect for herself and her body.
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