Author OpenBook Posted December 1, 2007 Author Posted December 1, 2007 When I read about these OW who come here and think their MM are different, theirs are REALLY leaving, theirs REALLY love them, I wish I could slap them with reality I am so grateful I don't know you personally. I'm not so sure the MM's DON'T really love their OW's. I just think that on some subconscious level they're thinking, if she's willing to lower herself to sleep with another woman's man, there must be other character flaws in there, and I'm not about to entrust her with my life - but oh how I cannot get enough of her!! Just the fact that she would enter into that kind of relationship AT ALL causes them to respect her less. Which is complete tripe, in my book, because it has nothing to do with her worth as a human being. A risky choice for herself? You bet. But her worth and value have nothing to do with how he regards her. It's not his call.
Woggle Posted December 1, 2007 Posted December 1, 2007 I don't think that OW are worthless but I do think that most of them have issues and have a skewed view of relationships. If you look at the OW on here most of them seem to have issues with men and don't seem capable of having a healthy relationship. I am not saying they are bad people but if I were still single I would not want to seriously involve myself with a woman like that. The majority of OW would not make good partners in a normal relationship.
OWoman Posted December 1, 2007 Posted December 1, 2007 Do you think that there is a possibility of you becoming bored with him? If there is a chance of ANY man holding my attention for longer than it takes me to brush my teeth, it's him. I'm certainly not going into this with an exit strategy in mind, but I am mindful of my track record and what impact that must have on his security levels. But then, he also sees it as a huge compliment that I've given up my wild, manizing ways to be with him...
Author OpenBook Posted December 1, 2007 Author Posted December 1, 2007 I don't think that OW are worthless but I do think that most of them have issues and have a skewed view of relationships. If you look at the OW on here most of them seem to have issues with men and don't seem capable of having a healthy relationship. I am not saying they are bad people but if I were still single I would not want to seriously involve myself with a woman like that. The majority of OW would not make good partners in a normal relationship. Well, I'm not an OW (not yet, anyway) and I have ALL KINDS of issues with men.:D In my younger years I would have agreed with you wholeheartedly, Woggle, but now - it's not so black-and-white. I've seen too many unhealthy marriages. I don't think that the ability to have a healthy relationship depends on whether you're married or not. I agree that the OW/MM relationship is skewed. But if everything else in your life is skewed, it can be the only thing that seems sane and right. Why do you think OW wouldn't make good partners in a normal relationship? Is it the trust issue? Or is their expressed agony about the relationship giving you the impression they're unstable?
OWoman Posted December 1, 2007 Posted December 1, 2007 I don't think that OW are worthless but I do think that most of them have issues and have a skewed view of relationships. If you look at the OW on here most of them seem to have issues with men and don't seem capable of having a healthy relationship. I am not saying they are bad people but if I were still single I would not want to seriously involve myself with a woman like that. The majority of OW would not make good partners in a normal relationship. Woggle - just as a matter of interest, what would you consider to be a "normal" relationship? (And no, I'm not going to argue with you about the rest of your post. I probably fit your profile very well )
Woggle Posted December 1, 2007 Posted December 1, 2007 Well, I'm not an OW (not yet, anyway) and I have ALL KINDS of issues with men.:D In my younger years I would have agreed with you wholeheartedly, Woggle, but now - it's not so black-and-white. I've seen too many unhealthy marriages. I don't think that the ability to have a healthy relationship depends on whether you're married or not. I agree that the OW/MM relationship is skewed. But if everything else in your life is skewed, it can be the only thing that seems sane and right. Why do you think OW wouldn't make good partners in a normal relationship? Is it the trust issue? Or is their expressed agony about the relationship giving you the impression they're unstable? I don't think it depends on if you are married or not either but you have to be able to have a healthy relationship in order to have a healthy marriage. You have to build the foundation for a good marriage before you say I do and many people seem incapable of doing that. I don't think they would make good partners because most of them seem incapable of handling a healthy relationship. I would bet my house that at least half of these women if they got what they wanted from these men would become bored very quickly and fall out of love with them. Why is it that they seem incapable of falling for a single man this way? For many women it is like donkey and a carrot on a stick. I don't playing with a woman's emotions because I am not that type of guy but to get any interest from some women that is exactly what a man has to do.
Woggle Posted December 1, 2007 Posted December 1, 2007 Woggle - just as a matter of interest, what would you consider to be a "normal" relationship? (And no, I'm not going to argue with you about the rest of your post. I probably fit your profile very well ) A relationship based on mutual respect, love and passion. It is not a relationship based on lies and deceit.
Author OpenBook Posted December 1, 2007 Author Posted December 1, 2007 I don't think it depends on if you are married or not either but you have to be able to have a healthy relationship in order to have a healthy marriage. You have to build the foundation for a good marriage before you say I do and many people seem incapable of doing that. Amen, amen, AMEN to that!! Well said, Woggle! I don't think they would make good partners because most of them seem incapable of handling a healthy relationship. I would bet my house that at least half of these women if they got what they wanted from these men would become bored very quickly and fall out of love with them. Why is it that they seem incapable of falling for a single man this way? For many women it is like donkey and a carrot on a stick. I don't playing with a woman's emotions because I am not that type of guy but to get any interest from some women that is exactly what a man has to do. Hmmm... I'm going to have to ponder this one for awhile. It screams "valuable male insight" to me... although I don't fully understand it.
White Flower Posted December 1, 2007 Posted December 1, 2007 I don't think that OW are worthless but I do think that most of them have issues and have a skewed view of relationships. If you look at the OW on here most of them seem to have issues with men and don't seem capable of having a healthy relationship. I am not saying they are bad people but if I were still single I would not want to seriously involve myself with a woman like that. The majority of OW would not make good partners in a normal relationship. Sorry, Woggle, but I think that statement is skewed. But I'll admit I used to think that way. What I have learned is that we are all human and have needs. Mine were not being met and I finally broke down and did this one thing. Found out it's not for me even though I'm madly in love. It was the severe pain which drove me to it. I'm sure on some level you can relate to making a bad decision while experiencing severe pain. I made a fantastic partner in my marriage and he spit on it. I think he would agree for the most part when he wasn't in one of his narcissistic moods.
twistedapart Posted December 2, 2007 Posted December 2, 2007 He says he respects me, admires my independence and creativity, loves the conversations we have together, feels a connection he's never felt before, loves my tight, perfect, and smokin body, and loves the way I make him squirm in bed. With me, he can get a second erection in a relatively short period of time again after we make love. He said that he was never able to do that before with anyone else. His wife is mostly a dumpy and hateful person. I'm positive and upbeat. She's drab, negative, and depressed. Not to mention completely overweight, if not obese. Inside and out, there is nothing attractive about her.
whichwayisup Posted December 2, 2007 Posted December 2, 2007 His wife is mostly a dumpy and hateful person. I'm positive and upbeat. She's drab, negative, and depressed. Not to mention completely overweight, if not obese. Inside and out, there is nothing attractive about her. Yet he is still married to her. Besides, do you think he is going to tell you if he is having sex with his wife? What good would that do him? OFCOURSE he is going to tell you alot of negative stuff...And that being said, it just shows what a big fat JERK you have in your life. I don't understand your hatred and such disrespect YOU have for his wife.
noforgiveness Posted December 2, 2007 Posted December 2, 2007 Yes amazing that it makes you feel good to be with a man who can talk about the mother of his kids like this to another woman. A man who talks like this about a woman he goes home to every night. You respect this man? He's with her not you. What does that say about you if she is that awful? If you were better he wouldn't still be there with her. MM see there kids more after a divorce not less.
Author OpenBook Posted December 2, 2007 Author Posted December 2, 2007 I think twistedapart is a troll... a bitter BS who is trying to portray OW's in general as evil vixens on this forum. The ironic part is, her words are hurting the BS's on here more than the OW's. But then, I could be totally wrong about twisted. It takes all kinds!!
noforgiveness Posted December 2, 2007 Posted December 2, 2007 I think twistedapart is a troll... a bitter BS who is trying to portray OW's in general as evil vixens on this forum. The ironic part is, her words are hurting the BS's on here more than the OW's. But then, I could be totally wrong about twisted. It takes all kinds!! :rolleyes:Oh yes the old bitter bs. Whatever. A troll is a troll but of course you have to accuse the bitterbs. Nice. NOT.
serial muse Posted December 2, 2007 Posted December 2, 2007 I wondered that too, OpenBook, but after some thought I don't really think she's a troll...her views are pretty extreme, but this isn't the first time I've heard people say this type of thing. That said, twisted, you don't sound upbeat at all, to be honest. You sound pretty negative and unkind. And based on posts you've made elsewhere, you certainly do have a skewed view of relationships.
Virgo1982 Posted December 2, 2007 Posted December 2, 2007 I don't think it depends on if you are married or not either but you have to be able to have a healthy relationship in order to have a healthy marriage. You have to build the foundation for a good marriage before you say I do and many people seem incapable of doing that. I don't think they would make good partners because most of them seem incapable of handling a healthy relationship. I would bet my house that at least half of these women if they got what they wanted from these men would become bored very quickly and fall out of love with them. Why is it that they seem incapable of falling for a single man this way? For many women it is like donkey and a carrot on a stick. I don't playing with a woman's emotions because I am not that type of guy but to get any interest from some women that is exactly what a man has to do. I don't know about your theory Woggle. I've seen women who've never cheated on their S say they were bored with their H. I have never cheated on any of my SO-including the MM, but I was obviously in an affair at one point. I expressed my feelings of never involving myself in an affair again because I learned a lot from the experience. One of the things I learned was what it means to truly love someone. I learned what it truly means to love myself. I learned what you expressed in another thread today: I have to stop taking my baggage out on men that are interested in me. I have also come to accept that I will meet guys who are not worth my time and some guys who are worth my time. Someone asked Cobra why an intelligent man such as himself was not M. As I look at his responses to the questions posed by MM, MW, BS, and WS's, I understand why he isn't M. His intelligence won't allow him to let his emotions take over. His ability to look at things logically won't allow him to forgive his cheating S or cheat on his S. Not to say there is a right or wrong way for everyone. That is tailored to the individual. Someone also posed the question of why men spend their 20's chasing tail and their 30's settling down, then their 40's as a cake-eater. I think some people would just rather be honest with themselves. There's no problem with that. If you believe M is for you, then it is for you. If you believe M is not for you, it isn't. IOW, some people believe they are cut out for M and they're not. Some people believe they are not cut out for M and they either aren't or haven't been able to let go of past hurts. If they haven't let go of those past hurts, they aren't ready to marry but if they are able to let go, the past won't haunt them and perhaps the fear or disdain of M will no longer haunt them.
twistedapart Posted December 3, 2007 Posted December 3, 2007 Oh please. I cannot believe someone wants me to believe that he, or any man for that matter, would want to have sex with a giant nasty beast. On top of all that, I believe she's trying to clean up her image with plastic surgery but is demanding hubby to pay for it. He of course doesn't make that much after wifey dearest got him fired from his last job.
PLAYBRAT Posted December 3, 2007 Posted December 3, 2007 Twisted ....his W may be "obese" and disgusting in YOUR eyes...but guess who he is married to? You know looks are NOT everything... I am sure she has many redeeming qualities or otherwise he wouldn't still be married to her. And what does it say about HIS taste if he IS married to such a "beast"? Attacking the W is not exactly a very redeeming act either...whether he is sleeping with her or NOT. It just makes you look petty, mean and unhappy. Which BTW..ALWAYS makes anyone MUCH uglier ...regardless of outward appearance.
twistedapart Posted December 3, 2007 Posted December 3, 2007 If you knew the woman, you wouldn't be so kind. Trust me.
noforgiveness Posted December 3, 2007 Posted December 3, 2007 If you knew the woman, you wouldn't be so kind. Trust me. and yet he leaves you to lay next to her every evening.
mopar crazy Posted December 3, 2007 Posted December 3, 2007 Let's give twisted a break. She is just a naive young woman who has no care about any one's feelings but her own. She has A LOT of growing up to do. I had the same, immature, selfish attitude when I was a young OW myself. I didn't care he had a GF as long as he made time for me too. BLECH! God how selfish I was!
scaredinlove Posted December 3, 2007 Posted December 3, 2007 Do you believe it's because of you? that you were meant to be together... you just met at the wrong time?? Is it "the real thing" to you? Is it "the real thing" to him?? Does he see who you really are, and love who he sees? Or is he looking at something else?? Do you think he was just bored and restless, sick of the same ol' same ol', and looking for some excitement - something to make him feel alive again? Is he really miserable at home and looking for an escape? And to the many BS's who frequent this OM/OW forum... What do you think drove your H to cheat on you? Is it some character flaw within him? Was he unhappy in the M? Was there anything you could have done to prevent it? Between my MM and I , it is the real thing. we were both married I was unhappy he was bored ... We started as friends and become lovers. He felt deep in love with me and I did with him. What the future holds for us I don't know but we love each other deeply. I guess we just met the right person on the wrong time.
White Flower Posted December 3, 2007 Posted December 3, 2007 I think twistedapart is a troll... a bitter BS who is trying to portray OW's in general as evil vixens on this forum. The ironic part is, her words are hurting the BS's on here more than the OW's. But then, I could be totally wrong about twisted. It takes all kinds!! I thought so too even when I saw the name. Most OW, IMHO, are sympathetic people and that is what attracts MM to her. That is a quality he is looking for, not an egotistical young thing that is going to be cruel to his children and uncompassionate to his ex. If he is ever going to leave his W for someone, he will chose someone who will make it a more peaceful and smooth transition for everyone involved. Men like things easy. That is why most of them stay married. Unless of course we have an immature man here whose ego is grateful to get this "tight" piece of a**. If he's that immature he'll probably prove to turn on her as fast as he went after her. Twisted, if you're all that perfect, aren't you perfect enough to be the bigger person and act humble? I usually understand the OW, but I think I feel more sorry for his wife.
Lyssa Posted December 3, 2007 Posted December 3, 2007 I thought so too even when I saw the name. Most OW, IMHO, are sympathetic people and that is what attracts MM to her. That is a quality he is looking for, not an egotistical young thing that is going to be cruel to his children and uncompassionate to his ex. If he is ever going to leave his W for someone, he will chose someone who will make it a more peaceful and smooth transition for everyone involved. Men like things easy. That is why most of them stay married. Unless of course we have an immature man here whose ego is grateful to get this "tight" piece of a**. If he's that immature he'll probably prove to turn on her as fast as he went after her. Twisted, if you're all that perfect, aren't you perfect enough to be the bigger person and act humble? I usually understand the OW, but I think I feel more sorry for his wife. I couldn't have said it better. I don't look down on BS or OW but when I come across someone like Twisted, it's amazes me how one can be so selfish and immature. I'm with OpenBook too - she's hurting the BS more than OW here and it's really uncalled for.
CallMeCrazy Posted December 3, 2007 Posted December 3, 2007 White Flower, I always love your posts! I think you hit it right on the head with this one.... I know it was/is true for me. Thanks for being such a thoughtful giver of advice. I appreciate the comments you make !!
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