Should I be ashamed?

[andysw]

Since the beginning of september I started college and I thought I needed more time with my college work, which was why I began to miss church services to do my work to for achieving the highest grade I could get.

 

It's been two months now and just last sunday I went back to church with my parents. When I went in, I was never noticed or whether I was welcomed, and the people I knew for a long time neglected me, as if they didn't acknowledge my existance.

 

At the end of church service, every one just ignored me, and I was quiet all the way through until I left the building. It was the first time that I felt bad about this since my last couple of visits during summer.

 

So, should I be ashamed about this?

 

This may not seem like a clear and vague statement, but I just wanted to go straight to the point. So, if you want more background information feel free to ask.

[Moose]

I don't mean to be so blunt......but yes.

 

You should be ashamed of yourself.

 

Going to Church to be noticed or to get attention shouldn't be your motivation at all.

 

In fact, that should be the furthest from you mind, and from you heart.

 

You should be there first and foremost to worship, and to grow in God's word.

 

That takes involvement on your part. In return, you will be welcomed, and you will get attention.....

[shadowofman]

Slow down Moose. Why should he be ashamed?

Sounds like there is not enough info here.

Were they really ignoring you? As in, you greeting them, and they are obviously ignoring? Is it because you have missed so many Sundays?

Well missing church doesn't warrent the cold shoulder!

[norajane]

If you've never been ignored there before, then I think they ought to be ashamed. What, are they punishing you for being away? You'd think they'd be generous of spirit and be happy to see you. They have no idea why you were away...you could have been sick and in the hospital for all they knew...what kind of religion shuns people who actually go to worship?!

[Geishawhelk]

And that's another reason I left christianity behind. The big guilt trip thing...

"Judge not lest ye be not judged."

One of the least adhered-to lessons in the Christian doctrine.

 

What makes you think they were judging you because of your absence?

Maybe they thought you have a problem, and were giving you space.

Or they didn't want to pry.

Or actually, were acting as they always do, because they couldn't give a damn.

Let it go.

Move on.

Stop beating yourself up about it.

It's trivia, really, isn't it?

 

Or are you really that easy to hurt?

[WitchyLady]

If I missed more than one circle half the gals in coven mates would be on the phone asking me exactly what is up before I could pick up the phone to bow out. They'd be asking why I wasn't coming, what the situation was, if they could help, and they'd likely be over here in pairs drilling me on my studies and/or helping me with the chores or whatever to make sure I was getting ahead just so I did have the time to howl at the moon every few weeks!

 

I don't care what faith you practice making sure you practice it should be a priority for you even if it means you have to give up something else for a while. It's what keeps you centered, and balanced and focused, in the end.

 

That being said?

 

I'd find me another church.

 

These people are your spiritual community.

 

They should care about what happens to you.

 

They should wonder where you are if you are missing.

 

They should care enough to find out, and to offer help if need be.

 

And if you are gone, for whatever reason?

 

Well, it's time for hugs and welcomes, and cries of "Gee we missed you!"

all round and if that doesn't happen?

 

Then you know it's time to go and find yourself a better place to hang out spiritually-speaking because this situation isn't a good one for you at all!

 

Just because a church is there, and you've always gone to it, doesn't mean it's the right one for you.

 

Start checking out other ones.

 

You may find that your heart lies elsewhere.

 

[lonelybird]

There are Holy Ghost filled churches, there are some churches aren't filled with Holy Ghost, that is a major different.

 

maybe you feel ashamed because you neglect communication with Lord and read Bible (maybe this is not your case)? which is most important and core thing about our belief, Lord give us peace and rejoice in heart, communicating with Lord will make so much different at the end of each day. even you are in school and can serve Lord in another form. Like a light, Lord shapes your charactors, when other people see you, they will find you are different.

 

as for people, people hurt us all the time, people aren't perfect, they may try to do right thing, but every one of us fails from time to time. The number one thing is still relationship with God and serve him in all kinds of forms, if we don't communicate with Lord, it's like living water is cut from us

[Geishawhelk]

If I missed more than one circle half the gals in coven mates would be on the phone asking me exactly what is up before I could pick up the phone to bow out. They'd be asking why I wasn't coming, what the situation was, if they could help....

 

Dang nabbit, I second that! This is ABSOLUTELY the finest definition of a 'church' community, circle or whatever else you want to call it . Unity. Togetherness. Empathy. Companionship. Oh, and Unconditional Love. Jesus had a bit of that, if I'm not much mistaken.

 

I live in a very isolated place, so the only 'community' I have of Buddhists is on-line. Sheesh, I don't post for a day and I get the third degree! In the nicest possible way, of course.

 

And thus should it be.

[DutchGuy]

Pfff, Who decides what a house of worship is?

If you sit in your bedroom, say your prayers and close of with AMEN, then that is church.

God is everywhere, remember?

Besides, those people are not the ones to judge you, your god is.

[Yosef]

Pfff, Who decides what a house of worship is?

If you sit in your bedroom, say your prayers and close of with AMEN, then that is church.

God is everywhere, remember?

Besides, those people are not the ones to judge you, your god is.

 

Amen to that. I'm a strong believer in God, and I agree that a church is a place of worship. If your home is a place of worship, welcome to church. If your house is filled with the holy spirit, and you feel a connection with God there, then it's church! A church can't be defined to having a point-topped roof with a bell or having really colorful windows and having a statue of jesus at every corner. My church is at a school! There's no jesus statue, pointy rooftops (it's actually very flat), or colorful windows. I do have to say, there are colorful paintings of birds and tropical jungles in the cafeteria where we do service, but that's besides the point. That school is my church, my place of worship.

[sderenzi]

Logically we must analyze this...

 

Church is a fantasy world made by those without intellect, therefore you acquiring more of an intellect are seen as a threat and annoyance. They avoid you to not face the lack of education they themselves possess. Even if they have degrees beyond what you're working for if they still worship god they never learned anything. People can memorize words and still not understand their meaning, hence the bible.

 

So work on your education and thank goodness you are getting it, then when you're living at home in a nice house and rich they will be in church sulking in their pity / jealousy of you.

[Moose]

Logically we must analyze this...

 

Church is a fantasy world made by those without intellect, therefore you acquiring more of an intellect are seen as a threat and annoyance. They avoid you to not face the lack of education they themselves possess. Even if they have degrees beyond what you're working for if they still worship god they never learned anything. People can memorize words and still not understand their meaning, hence the bible.

 

So work on your education and thank goodness you are getting it, then when you're living at home in a nice house and rich they will be in church sulking in their pity / jealousy of you.

:lmao:Oh buddy......you're a newbie aren't you!

 

Get ready to be educated yourself.......

[sderenzi]

:lmao:Oh buddy......you're a newbie aren't you!

 

Get ready to be educated yourself.......

 

 

Just because your statement is accurate doesn't make mine any less valid

[Moose]

Just because your statement is accurate doesn't make mine any less valid

I'm not de-railing this person's thread, so I started a new one. You're welcome to debate this there.

These people are your spiritual community.

 

They should care about what happens to you.

 

They should wonder where you are if you are missing.

 

They should care enough to find out, and to offer help if need be.

 

And if you are gone, for whatever reason?

I agree with what you said here, but you can't deceive the Holy Spirit when attending Church.

 

If you're heart isn't into worshipping, then you will be ignored.

 

If you're heart is into it, your very actions would make a noticable difference.

[sderenzi]

I'm not de-railing this person's thread, so I started a new one. You're welcome to debate this there.I agree with what you said here, but you can't deceive the Holy Spirit when attending Church.

 

If you're heart isn't into worshipping, then you will be ignored.

 

If you're heart is into it, your very actions would make a noticable difference.

 

Thus why all in church are ignored!

[Moose]

Thus why all in church are ignored!

??

[sderenzi]

??

 

Don't pretend you don't understand, I mean god ignores them because they're losers without any real sense of him, lol

[disgracian]

If these people were giving you the cold shoulder, then it is they who should be ashamed. Also, andy, please ignore the ill-conceived words of those who have rushed to heap judgement on you.

 

Cheers,

D.

[Moose]

Don't pretend you don't understand, I mean god ignores them because they're losers without any real sense of him, lol

Ah, I see.....going to ignore what's opinion and what's fact.....ok...iggy for you.....

If these people were giving you the cold shoulder, then it is they who should be ashamed. Also, andy, please ignore the ill-conceived words of those who have rushed to heap judgement on you.

You can do much better than that.....

 

Noone is judging him. Edification isn't for the unsaved. The young man, (if saved), knows where I'm coming from....

[andysw]

If these people were giving you the cold shoulder, then it is they who should be ashamed. Also, andy, please ignore the ill-conceived words of those who have rushed to heap judgement on you.

 

Cheers,

D.

 

I don't know. I often sense retaliation though. For those who should've been ashamed, are the ones who neglect me. Sometimes I question myself whether they're snobs. It wasn't my fault that I'm in this depressing situation. If I had friends from church I certainly wouldn't ignore people who I don't often like. I'd do the opposite. Have they forgotten the statement "Treat your neighbours the way you wanted to be treated"?

 

The strong should help the weak. At the moment I'm weak, and they're strong in social status.

[disgracian]

andy - It seems questionable as to whether these people really care at all about you. Perhaps you need to seek support and kindness elsewhere?

 

Cheers,

D.

[andysw]

andy - It seems questionable as to whether these people really care at all about you. Perhaps you need to seek support and kindness elsewhere?

 

Cheers,

D.

 

Isn't it common sense that I'm trying? I can't exactly tell my parents that I decided to leave the church and find other churches. I've been wanting to quit to avoid ignorance since nearly 2 years ago.

 

Them caring about me? Ha! Yeah right. The joke of the day.

[disgracian]

If you don't feel welcome or cared about then why stay at all? I think you've answered your own question.

 

Cheers,

D.

[elaina]

Hi. I've missed church services a lot cause I'm in school too. What works better for me are going to the ladies bible study cause it's more fun (sorry preachers) and the women who go have become like my Grandmas and Moms,which is nice.

 

It's sad that the people treated you like that. Church is about relationships, primarily and most importantly one's relationship with God, and then relationships with others. That's why Jesus says that the greatest commandment is to love God with all of you (i'm paraphrasing) and then to love others like you love yourself.

 

If they are not showing God's love for you, that is their problem. Please don't let it hurt your relationship with God though,cause He loves you no matter what others do or don't do.

 

Anyways, no please don't be ashamed. When you can, it'd be good to get more involved in a way that you feel comfortable and can enjoy worshipping God and learning about Him together with others. Interactive Bible studies I think are really cool in this way, cause then you can get to know other people and they can get to know you and support and care for you.

 

Somtimes sermons and services are so boring cause all you do is sit there and then afterwards just go home, whereas Bible studies and some Sunday School classes you can talk and study interactively, which is fun! Maybe if you look into your college, you will find a students Bible study?

 

Peace and God bless

[andysw]

If you don't feel welcome or cared about then why stay at all? I think you've answered your own question.

 

Cheers,

D.

 

It's not that simple to stop going to that church. If I tell my parents they'd be furious and lecture me. They're more likely to say that satan is influencing me.