taylor3205 Posted November 13, 2007 Posted November 13, 2007 Well i was on here about 2 years ago because my partner of 7 years left me, ended up moving in with someone else and we spent 6 months apart. He eventually came back to me and I took him back after 6 months of pure HELL, the usual going to pieces that so many of us do. We are both male. He came back to me with nothing but a mountain of debt, as he had done nothing but drink himself stupid and party in the 6 months we were apart. I helped him sort his debts out and even got myself into debt to help him get equipment (he is a dj/performer), i also made him a web site and helped him get the business coming in. I am in about 2 grands worth of debt now because of it. Well he has a day job too, as more weekend and night time work came in, we spent less and less time together. I hated this and tried to talk to him on several occasions about it, but it seemed he was only interested in work, work, work and nothing else. In fact just a couple of weeks ago i told him i was majorly unhappy because we didnt spend time together and a couple of days later he offered to work on a Saturday night (on a rare night he had off from being a dj) for a local pub that he performs in, and as a barman for minimum wage because they were short on staff!! A week after that, he was performing at a friends wedding that I was invited too. He talked me out of not going because we had financial problems and couldnt afford it. I then get a phone call at 12am, saying he had finished work but was going out round the town on the drink and would be home later. He came back at 1pm the next day. It just seemed like one thing after another like this and everytime i tried to talk to him he was too tired to listen or just said as minimal as possible to shut me up. Its like he just wasnt interested anymore and was just using me. Well I bottled everything up and got rip roaring drunk last saturday, came back home, had a blazing row, ended up hitting him (which i am not proud of at all) and now he is taking me to court for ABH and has took off with all the equipment and everything. How stupid am I? I just feel numb and very very very foolish, and I am ashamed of how I handled it. People have told me I should have just ended the relationship, but I couldnt, no matter how crap he maded me feel, because I love him, and the sad thing is, I still do.
ninjaturtles Posted November 13, 2007 Posted November 13, 2007 Sorry to hear you are going through a 2nd break up......I guess there is nothing you can do except move on.... He is taking you to court for ABH...I guess that shows you dont really mean much to him anymore. 7 years is a long time, but you deserve someone who loves you equally, someone who will not use you simply as a means to an end. The usual, NC, keep busy etc. Try and meet new people...this relationship is over, so please dont bother trying to reconcile. Its only natural for you to still be in love with him, I guess with time you will heal and gradually you will learn to live without him and be happy without him.... Stay strongxx
SunnyLady Posted November 13, 2007 Posted November 13, 2007 You deserve better. He was a selfish person who used you. I'm sorry that you're are going through so much. Don't beat yourself too much over what you could have done. The truth is you were blinded by love (something that happens to he lot of us). Don't beat yourself over it. In due time karma will catch up with him...Lol. What a fraudster. I hope your court proceedings go well. Do not contact him and im sure you will find someone who will reciprocate your love. Sounds cliche i know...but we all hope to find true love sooner than later. You will obviously stilll hurt, you were in love with this man. Time heals what reason cannot. I promise you that. Keep us posted, stay strong and a be a man! You will pull through.
Author taylor3205 Posted November 15, 2007 Author Posted November 15, 2007 Thanks for the replies. Ive spoken to him and he says he will 'probably' drop the charges and wants the stuff and the car. I feel like he has me over a barrel, basically it feels like I do what he wants or he takes me to court. Just over a month ago I gave up a place at a very good university to stay here and help him with the business. Now I am totally left with nothing....AGAIN. He has just passed his test so I guess he no longer needs me really either. I cant be bothered anymore.
Author taylor3205 Posted November 15, 2007 Author Posted November 15, 2007 Waking up is really hard. That bit just as you are slowly waking up and you feel ok, then you open your eyes, fully wake up and the realisation of whats happened sinks in. I really just cant be bothered with life anymore, just feels like there nothing left and I havent got the motivation to start all over again. But needs must, so will just have to try and make the best of a bad situation and get on with life. I spent 6 months apart from him last time and he was with someone else, that killed me - absolutely soul destroying. I have a few friends and my family, so I guess things could be a whole lot worse. Its his birthday in a couple of days and we were meant to be going away for it. I have his presents here, I dont know whether to give him them when he comes for the rest of his stuff or not. I probably will.
ninjaturtles Posted November 15, 2007 Posted November 15, 2007 I know exactly how you feel...waking up used to be the worst feeling...the mornings were terrible and for some time, nothing in life made sense. School work suffered a lot etc..however things are getting so mucn better Its a shame you sacrificed so much for him..., such is life....love is not guaranteed....Its a gamble..a risk.... Dont ever forget that you were very good to him and you did your best..if your best was not enough, then nothing would be.. stay strong.......Its hard but you will get better graduallyxxx
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