carlos1223 Posted November 13, 2007 Posted November 13, 2007 Im an 18 year old guy whos never had a girlfriend before. I want to ask out this girl i know whos 17. I dont know how to do it though. Like I know i cant say "do u wanna be my girlfriend? that would be too weird. so how do i go about doing it? Like everyone tells me to "ask her out"...but like what does that mean exactly...like what do i say...and how do i get the idea in her head that im interested in being more than just friends? Like i get it...ask her out...then what...i mean she might just interpret me asking her to go somewhere as friends...
4givrnt4gtr Posted November 13, 2007 Posted November 13, 2007 "Like I know i cant say "do u wanna be my girlfriend? that would be too weird" No no no no! what in the world!!! The easiest way is just what your friends said....ask her out...and by that i mean (this is assuming you have talk to this girl before) you: Hey, you know Ive been thinking about how cool you are and how id love to get to know you more, so I was wondering if you'd like to go out with me sometime. girl: Ohhh, well thanks, sure Id love to! You: Cool, how about (whatever day you choose) girl: umm let me make sure i dont have anything planned OR sure! that sounds great! Bassically understand this....and dont make the same mistake most of us do when we're pretty young...to have a girlfriend, you need to know if you actually like this chick to begin with. AKA go out on a few dates with her. Once you both find out that you DO like each other and are able to have a great time together THEN you can talk to her and tell her you love hanging out with her and would like it if you become a bit more exclusive as being boyfriend and girlfriend. This make things a MILLION times easier than if you just go up to this chick whom you've never really gone out with and ask her to be your girlfriend. Hope this makes sense and itll help you out. Good luck!
Lovegod Posted November 13, 2007 Posted November 13, 2007 There's a few things you need to do when dating women. 1) Develope good rapport with her 2) Touch her. No, not sexually, but on the arm, her hand, or the middle of her back. It breaks the sexual tension between the two of you. 3) Get her on a date as quickly as possible. Don't aim for the "let's be friends first" 5hit. People don't have sex with their friends, so avoid becoming one. 4) Get her number and set up a date over the phone. Don't spend hours talking to her like her girlfriends do. You need something to talk about during the date. Five minute phone call max. 5) Have your plans set for the date before you call; Choose the day, the hour, and the location. If she's busy but wants to set up another day, she'll let you know. If she doesn't try again in a couple days with a new day / hour/ location. I usually apply a "three strikes your out" method. If you get turned down three times, move on to other women. 6) Don't pick dinner and a movie for your first date. Pick something fun and different. No, not a goddam walk under the stars either. Try mini-golf, feeding ducks, rollerskating, basically anything where the two of you are DOING SOMETHING TOGETHER. 7) TOUCH HER. I cannot emphasize this enough. She needs to know you're wanting more than friendship. 8) Kiss her by the end of the first date. If you mess that up, you're forgiven until the end of the second date. If you haven't kissed her by then, you've made yourself a new friend. 9) Have sex with her by the end of the first month. If you don't, she'll think you're not interested in her and she'll ditch you.
4givrnt4gtr Posted November 13, 2007 Posted November 13, 2007 9) Have sex with her by the end of the first month. If you don't, she'll think you're not interested in her and she'll ditch you. aahhhh not so much.... OMG i cannot believe you're really telling an 18 year old who's never had a girlfriend to have sex with the first girl he asks out within a month of starting dating her....how irresponsible is that! OP Please dont listen to that....and its most DEFINITELY not true a girl, specially a young girl (and 17 IS young) will ditch you if you dont have sex with her within...well ANY specific time. In fact, she will respect you if you dontt...believe it or not most girls are weary of men who just wants them for sex.
sumdude Posted November 13, 2007 Posted November 13, 2007 aahhhh not so much.... OMG i cannot believe you're really telling an 18 year old who's never had a girlfriend to have sex with the first girl he asks out within a month of starting dating her....how irresponsible is that! OP Please dont listen to that....and its most DEFINITELY not true a girl, specially a young girl (and 17 IS young) will ditch you if you dont have sex with her within...well ANY specific time. In fact, she will respect you if you dontt...believe it or not most girls are weary of men who just wants them for sex. Yeah really, slow down on that stuff.... if she's really is into it after a while she'll let you know. You all are young and sex is one powerful thing.. don't want to get yourselves all mixed up in something that could affect the rest of your lives.
BeautifulMusic Posted November 14, 2007 Posted November 14, 2007 Yeah, and I disagree with this... 4) Get her number and set up a date over the phone. Don't spend hours talking to her like her girlfriends do. You need something to talk about during the date. Five minute phone call max. My first real conversation with my ex-boyfriend was on the phone and we talked FOR SIX HOURS! He asked me out a few days later, and we were together for close to a year and a half. That phone conversation going so well gave us MORE to talk about on the date because we knew each other fairly well enough after a 6 hour conversation to have PLENTY to talk about with each other. We always got along exceedingly well, and that phone call was the start of it. Plus, we were more comfortable on the first date because of that phone call. I just think this is one of those dumb rules that is not an absolute. Do what feels natural in the context of the conversation, but end on a good note so that she's really enjoying talking to you and is looking forward to going out with you. In my case, the conversation flowed so naturally that 6 hours wasn't too long, but I realize an example that extreme is going to be the exception to the rule.
Lovegod Posted November 14, 2007 Posted November 14, 2007 My first real conversation with my ex-boyfriend was on the phone and we talked FOR SIX HOURS! Wow. That phone call did a world of good for your relationship. OMG i cannot believe you're really telling an 18 year old who's never had a girlfriend to have sex with the first girl he asks out within a month of starting dating her....how irresponsible is that! You're right, that is irresponsible. Sorry Carlos, I really should have been more thoughtful when I typed that out... Don't forget to wear a condom! a girl, specially a young girl (and 17 IS young) will ditch you if you dont have sex with her within...well ANY specific time. That what I said! That's why he needs to take care of business within a month, a month and a half at the latest.
RecordProducer Posted November 14, 2007 Posted November 14, 2007 You've got some good ideas. I would just like to stress that developing a short, temporary friendship is actually a good idea. Asking her out with the pressure of a "date" means she will have to base her decision on whatever she knows about you by now. If you know each other well, it's not a problem so then you can just hit in her subtly once you go out on a date. If she doesn't know you well, however, it's better if she gets to know you first. A girl can develop interest in a guy after she had a fun night with him. I always think that the best thing is to read the signs, but guys seem unable to figure out if a girl likes them. Girls also don't know how to show that they don't like the guys (if they don't), so misunderstandings occur in the guys' minds. I am much older than she is so I can't think with her mind, but if a guy wasn't sure whether I like him or not, I would be most comfortable with a romantic upfront question: "May I kiss you?" Ask after a good laughter, when the ambiance is cozy and words flow naturally. If she says "no," you can always say "Sorry, I got carried on..." You can eaily convert the situation into a little-moment-of-weakness type of thing, if you don't want to admit the defeat. Good luck!
BeautifulMusic Posted November 14, 2007 Posted November 14, 2007 Wow. That phone call did a world of good for your relationship. Do you go around insulting everyone who doesn't agree with you? That level of maturity makes your advice seem so credible! And, if you'd paid attention, you'd have noticed we were together for close to a year and a half. So, yes, that phone call DID do a world of good for our relationship.
Krytie TV Posted November 14, 2007 Posted November 14, 2007 Wow. That phone call did a world of good for your relationship. And I suppose your method landed you one girlfriend as a teen and you never broke up? What's your track record stud? With your vast knowledge, I suppose you have never been dumped right?
Lovegod Posted November 14, 2007 Posted November 14, 2007 Do you go around insulting everyone who doesn't agree with you? Sometimes I do, but right now I'm just pointing out that your statement about long phone calls doesn't have much credibility. And I suppose your method landed you one girlfriend as a teen and you never broke up? Of course not, don't be silly. That nice little list that I wrote up there is the result of trial and error with MANY women. When I became single after my fiance and I split, I vowed to become an expert at dating women so I could land my ideal mate when I came across her, regardless of her relationship status. What I've written in that post is what helps me be successful in landing dates. What's your track record stud? Three years and counting. And that nice little list up there helped get me into the relationship I'm in now. With your vast knowledge, I suppose you have never been dumped right? Of course I've been dumped, mostly when I was still clueless in the dating world. When I made that vow to become an expert in the field of dating, I found myself being dumped a lot less. Women would flake out, but never completely cut me off. When you've got dating experience, you can tell when the woman your dating isn't working out, and you can move on before you waste too much time with someone who isn't all that interested in you.
RecordProducer Posted November 14, 2007 Posted November 14, 2007 Wow. That phone call did a world of good for your relationship. If you spend all your topics for a conversation in a one-hour phone call, then what are you going to talk about for the rest of your life? You click with someone when your minds seem like renewable sources of topics that change one another and flow spontaneously. I would never go out with a guy with whom I have spent less than an hour of talking (via phone, email, IM or in person). That's exactly why I would fear that the date might be awkward and empty - if I don't have a solid basis to believe that we can maintain a vibrant discussion for hours.
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