bigheartkindsoul Posted November 13, 2007 Posted November 13, 2007 I am hoping this will be the last for a while of these posts......... I know I post alot, cause I just want to get this licked and done with asap so I apologise. I have like so many had a rough ride, not just with this but with awful things that happened in my childhood and prior adulthood and have been working for the last 4months or so to get over these things that haunt and effected me. So regarding the EX Not sure if this is important to the subject but I do not want him, will never get back in touch with him, I know that it is for the best and have done since about day 2 into the break up, still didn't stop the pain & hurt though. I need solutions How to let go once and for all? How to stop the odd thought? The biggy How do I stop the hate and anger I hold towards him? So if I just say to myself thats it, I've had enough, I have grieved enough (I have) and just stop myself in my own tracks from thinking and feeling this way??? So if everytime I think a bad thought, if I just say no to myself and think of something else??
Author bigheartkindsoul Posted November 13, 2007 Author Posted November 13, 2007 Sorry sorry sorry I think I with help from others have answered my own question. Determination and positive thinking. I will do this, I have better things waiting out there in my future so little point in looking back. I shall probably use this thread as my little therapy room though. Positive things only.
littlekitty Posted November 13, 2007 Posted November 13, 2007 You know that lame old saying that everyone pulls out at times like these: 'Time is the best healer'? Unfortunately it's true. But with that positive thinking and determination you can sure speed the process up!
jerbear Posted November 13, 2007 Posted November 13, 2007 I would suggest somethings that I've learned in the last few months. Forgive yourself, you are not a bad person. Learn from little kitties (sorry for the pun LittyKitty!), dogs, and young kids. They live for today and everyday is a new day for them! Make a lasting impression now because in 150 years not many people would remember this conversation. Volunteering can help. Be a part of something bigger than yourself and you'll feel great! If you fear it, it is a good thing. Don't worry about others view on you, you are at least out there doing it instead of saying it. Balance out and live for today while saving some for tomorrow. So I would suggest taking time for yourself, even if it is a hens night out?! (trying to learn the lingo) Something I do every year is to do something I would not normally do. This past year was a new job and meeting business people. Next year initiate the business plan instead of writing it.
MattyTee Posted November 13, 2007 Posted November 13, 2007 Hey Heart, This is a little exercise I got from a book, maybe it will help. Get yourself a little notebook to use as a journal. Everytime you get a negative or angry thought write it down, along with the emotion. Then write down the opposite emotion / feeling. Think about how you can turn thought around to fit that opposite emotion (I'll write an example later when I'm not using a touchscreen keypad). Each time imagine how that emotion makes you act physically, do your shoulders hunch, does you tummy feel knotted, do your face muscles tighten. Then imagine how this would change should you feel that opposite feeling. Does you face feel relaxed, do your eyes open wider, do you stand up straighter. Then, take a deep breath and breath out, as you do so imagine breathing out the negative. Draw breath in and breath in the positive. Change your physical posture to the positive one! Another useful exercise is to write a letter to him. Say goodbye in the letter, make it final. Seal it and then burn it or throw it away.
Author bigheartkindsoul Posted November 13, 2007 Author Posted November 13, 2007 I have volunteered to beat you to that one, I am going to help them out this Sat for the first time. I am doing really well and alot better at my new job now, started in Jan 07 was tough with everything that was going on and to give a positive vibe when I was just about surviving life but now I am storming ahead so thats a great thing right. Something I plan to do and have always wanted to is a Race Track day, driving some really fast cars I have been saving some vouchers and plan to book that for the New Year, also for my Birthday my family got me a Flying lesson so wanna do that in Jan/Feb too. I do go out alot and always make the most of where I am and what I am doing, so even if not my ideal night out am one of those people who will make it as great as I can. I have some great Xmas do's/parties coming up so that gives plenty to look forward too, I must and will keep all this good stuff in mind. God see thats why I post so much, writing is good for me. {{{{{{squeezy hugs to you guys}}}}}}}
deadmansfloat Posted November 13, 2007 Posted November 13, 2007 bigheartkindsoul - this might seem like an odd tactic; but i always try to see the absurdity in the situation. this often compels me to laugh at how things went. i know it depends on your sense of humor - mine is relatively dark - but think about, for instance, the more ridiculous aspects of the break up. my EX, as ive said in another post, left me for a 20 year old, and is moving across the country with him after 3 months. it's absurd! whether or ot they work out, it's such a cliche that i almost laugh at it. another tactic is talk to others about their worst break up experiences. a lot of times we see how much worst other peoples' experiences are and feel lucky. and again, sometimes when you realize that what we're going through is an old, boring cliche, i often smile and think to myself, "well, theres another thing to check off the list of life." i don't know if that helps; but i challenge you to try and laugh at the situation as life can be absurd.
honey001 Posted November 13, 2007 Posted November 13, 2007 You just need to move on girl.... i know that its always annoying to hear and its not as easy 'but if you dont you could miss that guy thats standing in front of you' dont waste your energy on a guy, who doesnt appreciate you' he's not worth being unhappy over.... one thing that most guys notice is confidence ' so pick that up, because that will catch his eye.... get out get a make over or go and do something for yourself that will make you feel good 'usually thats a good remedy' TRY IT!!! when you feel good about yourself, you will definately move on 'start thinking to yourself you can do better OK
marty Posted November 13, 2007 Posted November 13, 2007 i try and think along the lines of, is what i'm thinkin or doing a good or bad thing for me. i think somewhere i read on LS,, "if it doesnt grow corn"............. easier said than done i know, but it helps to step back from the situation a little and puts YOU to the forefront, and not your past.
SunnyLady Posted November 14, 2007 Posted November 14, 2007 Remain optimistic. Encourage yourself mentally. And keepmup with your activities. Kepp moving... xxxx
SunnyLady Posted November 14, 2007 Posted November 14, 2007 Remain optimistic. Encourage yourself mentally. And keepmup with your activities. Kepp moving... xxxx
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