bigheartkindsoul Posted November 13, 2007 Posted November 13, 2007 I hate my ex, some of you may have seen the two posts most relivent http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t133801/ & http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t135195/ I hate him, I want nothing to do with him so why can't I get rid of this hate I hold for him, if I was a lesser person I would have killed him but I am not so wouldn't do that. I don't see why I should forgive him. Is hate ok and normal? I was totally heartbroken everything I thought I had found and wanted was shattered and my heart trodden and stamped on by someone who professed to me that I was the one, that he had never felt this way before, that nothing would tear us apart, blah blah blah. I should have been my own guide, I know this now but it doesn't help with the hatered I feel for him for what he did and how he did it. I deserved better.
reboot Posted November 13, 2007 Posted November 13, 2007 Hate hurts you, not him. I know that doesn't help, but you're not really looking for an answer anyway, are you. See, I'm learning... women sometimes just need to vent. It will get easier. Hang in there.
littlekitty Posted November 13, 2007 Posted November 13, 2007 Hate hurts you, not him. This is so true. Hate will make you bitter and twisted. It will never effect him. All you can do is try to find a way to let go of it. Keep telling youself that he's the fool, not you. {{HUGS}}
Author bigheartkindsoul Posted November 13, 2007 Author Posted November 13, 2007 Hate hurts you, not him. I know that doesn't help, but you're not really looking for an answer anyway, are you. See, I'm learning... women sometimes just need to vent. It will get easier. Hang in there. Lol yeah we do, we as you clearly know are vuilt differently to men and yes need to vent our feelings out otherwise we bottle and thats no good. Good job on learning, anything else I can help you with??? and visa versa of course! Thanks {{{hugs}}}
Spinderella Posted November 13, 2007 Posted November 13, 2007 What is it that makes you feel hate? Because he promised you happiness, and then snatched it away? Relationships are transient. Find yourself to rely on, for your true happiness.
Author bigheartkindsoul Posted November 13, 2007 Author Posted November 13, 2007 What is it that makes you feel hate? Because he promised you happiness, and then snatched it away? Relationships are transient. Find yourself to rely on, for your true happiness. No the way cruel IMO he dumped me and treated me after all I had gone through to stay with him when found out about his lies in Feb. To be dumped when I was and by text too. Read how cruel my ex was hunny.
tinktronik Posted November 13, 2007 Posted November 13, 2007 The emotional impact of all things fades over time .Hate just like sorrow or fear will dissipate slowly over time.
Author bigheartkindsoul Posted November 13, 2007 Author Posted November 13, 2007 This is so true. Hate will make you bitter and twisted. It will never effect him. All you can do is try to find a way to let go of it. Keep telling youself that he's the fool, not you. {{HUGS}} Do you know how too, honestly I need help as I can't seem to do it. I need solutions????? Help {{{{hugs}}}}
Trialbyfire Posted November 13, 2007 Posted November 13, 2007 I had rage issues when the ex-H cheated on me. What I did was to heavily rely on friends and family, LS and finally a counsellor. You have to put your mind to it, to be determined to get rid of it because what reboot says is true, it will only hurt you. While you might hurt them, does it really matter? In reality, they might as well be dead to you because at this point in time, they cease to matter. In harboring anger, you continue to allow him to have control over you and your life.
Author bigheartkindsoul Posted November 13, 2007 Author Posted November 13, 2007 I had rage issues when the ex-H cheated on me. What I did was to heavily rely on friends and family, LS and finally a counsellor. You have to put your mind to it, to be determined to get rid of it because what reboot says is true, it will only hurt you. While you might hurt them, does it really matter? In reality, they might as well be dead to you because at this point in time, they cease to matter. In harboring anger, you continue to allow him to have control over you and your life. Yes this makes sense, I can be determined I have done it before on other aspects of break up and healing process so I can do it again. Thanks. You all have permission to remind me to be determined and positive in the future. I can do this.
serendip Posted November 13, 2007 Posted November 13, 2007 Holding on to the hate will only prevent you from becoming the person you can become
jerbear Posted November 13, 2007 Posted November 13, 2007 so many ways. One way was to let it all out at the person. The other was to go do something and just let it all vent out, go to a arcade and play one of those shooting games. Goto a counselor or go out and just be yourself. Call some friends for steak and wine. Another is to just loath at home. What ever you do, don't do this. When I was younger, I beat the living daylights out of a bully that crossed me, I even damaged the wall when I missed.
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