Kevinmajere Posted November 13, 2007 Posted November 13, 2007 Hello all, Im new here but in need of some sound advice. Me and my GF Jen have been together for 4 years now. We have 2 daughters and have once were to be married. Well it seems we are seperating now. When we met I was a gaming addict, addicted to FPS shoot games. But I got over it when my daughter was born and concentrated more on my family. I dont make much money so the house we live in my gf's mom pays her side of the rent. I cover my side, and the utilities. her mother and I have been trying to get her to get a job to help support this family. She has tried, but whenever she gets close to being hired she throws down an exscuse that the hiring manager is on vacation, or she couldnt call back because our phones were disconnected. It's always an exscuse when it comes to getting a job for her. Well now it's gotten worse. She has been playing World of Warcraft for a year now and has become really addicted. Staying up to 3 am or later playing with her guildies. I usally hit the hay around 12 am, or 11 pm, but there have been times when I've been woken up in the middle of the night by her, to fix the internet because it went down, so she can play her game. Things got worse on halloween though. The first thing my GF does is sign on into MSN when she wakes up. Well around lunch time I was growing concerned because she still had not signed on. I live 2 mins away from my work so I took a lunch and arrived home to find that she was passed out and my 18 month old was in her room crying, dirty diaper, and hungry. Need less to say i flipped out. I yelled at her and stormed back to work in anger. When I came home, we didnt talk. She took the kids and went out trick or treating for 30 mins, and came home I went to bed, and awoke later to come down stairs and find her playing wow agian. I hate that game, so I did what I shouldnt have done. I pulled the cable modem. She went berserk on me. Screamed at me. Then drove off after hitting me a few times. Well she stayed gone all weekend and came home sunday. We talked and she says she plays the game to get away from me because I have been snappy and short with her. I wont lie, I have been, I have been short and snappy with her because it's this feeling I get that she dosent care about the family enough to go out and get a job and help pay the bills. I bought her a promise ring for her to wear on that day she came home, she said we would try to make it work. 3 days later, she came to the conclusion that she wants to seperate. Get the state to place her into low income housing, and take the kids and move into some ghetto place. She told me she loves me, but is not in love with me. I left the house that night she told me and stayed with my dad and talked things over with him. He said I should act normal and agree to her moving out. I came home the next day and we talked some more. She was moving out to think things through. I asked her for her plans in more detail but she couldnt give them to me. We sat there looking at one another for several minutes and she started to cry. I asked her what was wrong. She said she could feel this barrier between us and she didnt want that barrier to be there. We went upstairs and made love and tore down that barrier. The next 3 days, we laughed, she told me she loved me, we cuddled, we joked. She played world of warcraft, i joined with her to spend some time with her. Then I went back to work, and my mind started racing. I msg her and asked her to reconsider moving out. She claims she needs to do this to see if she can make it out on her own. I told her she didnt need to do it alone. Then she got angry and told me i was being selfish. We played agian and things got a little smoother. I went to bed last night at 12 and I guess she came to bed around 3 am. our oldest needs to be at school at 7:30. We take her on off days of the week. It was her morning to do it. But because she stayed up all night playing, she failed to take her to school agian. this has happend alot. What should i do?
Chrome Barracuda Posted November 13, 2007 Posted November 13, 2007 Let her go and focus on being a father to your kids. I love gaming too. FPS, role playing, action games, whatever. But there are times when since you had kids you gotta place that aside and do what's best for the kids. It seems like she doesnt want to grow up and if she wants to be independant she can do that without you, and the best thing is to right now begin the seperation. If your kids are being neglected by her you need to step up and file for sole custody her happiness trumps her own childrens welfare then we have a problem.
Ladyjane14 Posted November 13, 2007 Posted November 13, 2007 If you don't want your kids moving into a housing project... see an attorney and prevent that from happening. Many offer low-cost or no-cost initial consultations. It's possible you could be granted temporary custody of the children while you two are hashing out your differences. Of course, you realize there's a chance her impetus to leave has less to do with you... and maybe more to do with an inappropriate attachment to one of her guild members. This wouldn't be the first time we've ever seen a post here having to do with WoW and the problems it causes. Keep your peepers open.
Chrome Barracuda Posted November 13, 2007 Posted November 13, 2007 WoW is garbage anyway's. Gears of war is very addictive. That's my shtick. But not to joke anymore. When one addiction is so great that you actually neglect your kids. It's time to step the hell up and do what is right for your kids, damn everything else. Also gather evidence that she's neglecting the kids. Get a keylogger on that computer. I'd say she's not just playing becuase she likes the game, something else is going on in her head!
OD3 Posted November 13, 2007 Posted November 13, 2007 World of Warcraft is nothing more than "Digital Heroin". I used to play this game about a year ago, and I lost my GF because of it. Even then, it didnt really matter. I had to cancel my account 3 times, uninstall and give the installation discs away to get away from it. Fact: You cannot play WoW "Properly", and have a real life. Some of the dungeon levels take 6 hours plus. I dont care what anyone says, if you have a normal life, job, kids etc, 6 hours is NOT acceptable amount of time to be playing games every day. It sounds as if your GF is an addict. She even admits she is using it for "escapism". She should focus more on her family and you than on a stupid game.
Author Kevinmajere Posted November 13, 2007 Author Posted November 13, 2007 I agree, I have an acount with wow, and it seems like the only way I can spend time with her is to play my char as well. But Im not geared as well as her to do any of the hard stuff to do in that game. I just don't devote alot of my time to farming matts for better gear, or running a 6 hour dungeon. I love her to death. Should I maybe cut the internet off?
whichwayisup Posted November 13, 2007 Posted November 13, 2007 Yes, that would be a good idea to cut the net off. She needs to get out and LIVE, not be addicted to Wow or any other online games. She is not putting all the love and energy into the kids, and she's displaying bad habits infront of the kids! I mean, what do they do while she's playing the game? This has nothing to do with love now, so you need to be TOUGH and get her some counselling - Addicted or not, this game will ruin lives, it already has.
Author Kevinmajere Posted November 13, 2007 Author Posted November 13, 2007 yeah regret ever buying it. I've noticed that if she is on the computer, my youngest who is 18 months, throws a fit, will scream at her, and cling to her for attention. Maybe I should set up a cam to record the day at the house while Im away.
Chrome Barracuda Posted November 13, 2007 Posted November 13, 2007 yeah regret ever buying it. I've noticed that if she is on the computer, my youngest who is 18 months, throws a fit, will scream at her, and cling to her for attention. Maybe I should set up a cam to record the day at the house while Im away. Take care of your damn kids!!! Your kids is paramount. (Final fantasy is way harder than WoW. lol.) All joking aside, maybe it's time to cut off the internet and get her to focus on the family. She's neglecting them and now that you see she's lost in it, what the hell are you doing to correct it!
Author Kevinmajere Posted November 14, 2007 Author Posted November 14, 2007 Everything in my power to keep things from the kids. To show them that nothing is wrong. It's odd, last night she stopped playing out of the blue, and I was laying on the couch watching tv, she climbed atop me and snuggled into my arms. Told me she loved me. But then stayed up till 4 am in the morning playing WoW. If I pull the internet plugg now, shes gonna freak out, even if the kids are right there. I had some thoughts and Im gonna just let the bill run up and cut out on it's own. If she asked why I didnt pay it, Im just going to tell her, "it's not important to me, my kids are, if you want it back on, you can pay it yourself." I take care of my kids, I work my ass off everyday to provide for them. I come home and I laugh and play with them. My kids are everything to me, and I guess maybe the seperation is good, i know she wont make it on her own. no offense, but she never has had a full time job. No work exsperience. No nothing. Just a GED. At times i think she is just bluffing. I've taken the first step in the process to maybe help myself. As i said she claims to play to get away from me, well maybe im doing something wrong. Working to much? I dont know, i have made agranments to talk to a professional marriage counciller alone. I asked her if she would like to join me, but she didnt reply to it.
Chrome Barracuda Posted November 14, 2007 Posted November 14, 2007 Everything in my power to keep things from the kids. To show them that nothing is wrong. It's odd, last night she stopped playing out of the blue, and I was laying on the couch watching tv, she climbed atop me and snuggled into my arms. Told me she loved me. But then stayed up till 4 am in the morning playing WoW. If I pull the internet plugg now, shes gonna freak out, even if the kids are right there. I had some thoughts and Im gonna just let the bill run up and cut out on it's own. If she asked why I didnt pay it, Im just going to tell her, "it's not important to me, my kids are, if you want it back on, you can pay it yourself." I take care of my kids, I work my ass off everyday to provide for them. I come home and I laugh and play with them. My kids are everything to me, and I guess maybe the seperation is good, i know she wont make it on her own. no offense, but she never has had a full time job. No work exsperience. No nothing. Just a GED. At times i think she is just bluffing. I've taken the first step in the process to maybe help myself. As i said she claims to play to get away from me, well maybe im doing something wrong. Working to much? I dont know, i have made agranments to talk to a professional marriage counciller alone. I asked her if she would like to join me, but she didnt reply to it. It's time to start putting your foot down,. Yeah the game is addictive but in the end it doesnt even matter your family is more important!!! Do what must be done!
Author Kevinmajere Posted November 15, 2007 Author Posted November 15, 2007 I know its just so strange. She was upset because her guild wouldnt let her run a high lvl instance. I mean she threw a hissy fit to the max. Started cleaning my house at 12 in the morning. She came to bed at 4 am, and cuddled me into her arms and I held her all night long. It's so hard because I think shes threatening to move out because I once threaten to pull the plug on her internet. I love her so much, she and my kids are my world.
Chrome Barracuda Posted November 16, 2007 Posted November 16, 2007 I know its just so strange. She was upset because her guild wouldnt let her run a high lvl instance. I mean she threw a hissy fit to the max. Started cleaning my house at 12 in the morning. She came to bed at 4 am, and cuddled me into her arms and I held her all night long. It's so hard because I think shes threatening to move out because I once threaten to pull the plug on her internet. I love her so much, she and my kids are my world. This madness has to end the longer you dont stop it, the more your enabling her. She's in the virtual fog now man. You gotta bring her out of it. I still dont see what is so addictive about WoW???!?! I really dont. Ask her is the game more important than your family? Than seeing your kids grow up, their first day of school. their first A? Prom, Homecoming? Graduation. She needs to see what she can loose!!!
Brokenbutterfly Posted November 16, 2007 Posted November 16, 2007 Go to the courthouse and file for emergency custody of your kids. Then call your cable company/phone company and tell them to disconnect the internet and if she ISN'T on the account they can't discuss it with her. If she IS on the account then tell them you're closing the joint one and she can open her own. Sorry, but if I came home and my kids were screaming and my husband was passed out. (Correction, this happened, that's why I'm here) I'd be outtie so fast his head would spin.
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