Missy27 Posted November 15, 2007 Posted November 15, 2007 Personally ~ ??? Incest / Affairs / Infidelity / Secrecy / Lies aside ~ you two just DO NOT make eachother happy ~ The affair with his sister ~ ?? ~ I know what I think ~ but it's irrelevant ~ you will NEVER obtain an admission ~ from either of them ~ Maybe because they are both sworn to this "little secret" between themselves that ~ to be honest ~ will eventually lead to their coupled AND individual demise ~ Maybe they are both in denial ~ lets not be frugal here ~ every adult has been gifted with an individual mind ~ and there's NO WAY that on the quiet they cannot KNOW that their connection is innappropriate ~ but they may not have admitted it to eachother ~ let alone to anyone else ~ whether anything physical HAS occurred or not ~ BUT ~ like I said before ~ it's irrelevant ~ Sometimes Honey ~ people are just NOT meant to be together ~ SURE ~ I believe in the entities of marriage and the "hard work" to get through tough times in order to sustain a deeper, emotionally mature love ~ but sometimes ~ people just dont ever reach that stage ~ and you two ~ come across as a couple who ~ however hard you work at it ~ partnered AND indiviually ~ will just never seem to quite get there There's a noble list of reasons for saving a marriage ~ but somewhere ~ there's just as rational reason for calling it a day ~ once you've tried all you can ~ there's no resources left in the pot to pull from ~ and you just KNOW that there's no future ~ its time to call it quits ~ To quote YOU ~ "I'm fearful for our future together" ~ Big red flag~ if you cant see a clarity and flow within your future existence as a couple ~ perhaps you shouldn't be together at all ~ ultimately ~ what is going to make YOU happy ~ it's not always the relationship it first seems ~ and thats not your fault ~ imagine yourself a strong ~ independant ~ happy ~ contented ~ calm ~ clear and level headed woman ~ who's achieved all she set out and desired to achieve ~ who's grown and learnt to trust and is in complete contentment with everything around her ~~~~~~~ Do you see HIM with you in that picture ~ ?? I am not advocating that you divorce him without trying to repair your marriage ~ but think about it ~ calm down ~ take a step back and re-group ~ things look different when you actually take them apart and stick them back together with a clear mind ~~ ;) What do YOU want from your life ~~
Author cj1988 Posted November 15, 2007 Author Posted November 15, 2007 Hello Missy, you speak the words that have already gone through my head and even out my mouth at some point to my H and or friends and family in the last year. If you really look at our ENTIRE 13 years together, it has always been rocky. UP and DOWN, the only peaceful times we had were in the first year and the rest is history. I am amaxed every day and said this to him recently that we have made it this long. No one that REALLY knows the both of us and has been around us for years has a doubt that we love each other. But these are the same people that will say, you should have never married, you are to different. As my wise brother told me, yes you H is immature and does not exactly act his age, but you knew he was like that before you married him....as my husband knew I was high strung and had insecurities when he married me. I have calmed down more than you can imagine now and that is the scary part, because as you can see it is still eating me alive. Now, do I want to live the rest of my life like this and will I, the answer is H--- NO! He always tells me that I am the one that has always been unsure for all these years as to what I want, he knows he will be with me forever. You know I now am starting to see he is right. That is why it took me 11 years to finally say yes and actually do it....I knew all those years deep down we were not meant, but loved him and thought it would get better if we did wed. Well, it went down hill from there as you can see. Do I think he is crazy, no....do I think it is normal what he went through with her no matter what it was, NO.....I thought I had childhood issues, but damn, he makes me look like a princess. I believe he is mentally messed up due to not knowing himself and his dad and drugs and alcohol (he has been smoking pot since he was 14) People say I do not see how anyone could do something with their sister, well when you are high 75% of the day, I am sure it may be real easy. Do I think he is ashamed, yes and no....he cried a lot for the 5 months that we were living in the same house but he detached from me totally. Every now and again I would catch him really drunk and he would cry and ask "How could you do that to me" refereing to the accusation. How could you not believe in me enough to know I could NOT do that.....then the next day I was crap again and he blamed me for his upest life. So, you see I am the blame for everything. Although he is aware and has admitted that the conversation may have sounded bad, he was not IN LOVE with her nor sleeping with her, just a strong connection he has never had with his other 5 siblings. He said, she is my sweet sweet baby, but not like YOU ARE my sweet sweet baby.....None of that really matter in the end. I am starting to see more and more everyday that as much as we love each other, it may be too late to ever be GREAT again and GREAT is what I want and I will not settle for less. I am all or nothing, period !
Gwyneth Posted November 21, 2007 Posted November 21, 2007 Wow, CJ. I just had to come read this after you mentioned your husband having an affair with his sister. Well that alone sounds gross. I think your husband takes "men are attracted to women who remind them of their mother and / or sister" a bit too seriously. WOW! I would be mortified if I were you. This is definitely incest, and can they go to prison for this? WOW. Now you said they only met in 2002? Is there somewhere I can read more about the background of your husband and his sister? Ew, I would NEVER talk to Either of my brothers like this, and both are half brothers. Wow. This is a bad situation. Siblings do not call each other Sexy or say I love you that many times. I tell my sister I love her, but my brothers, I keep it limited. I'm so sorry...I can't even imagine what you are dealing with. They share a parent--which? Does this parent know? Oh wow. Watch your children, please. Is this normal behavior of your husband? Incest? Was it in his family growing up? I'm sorry...this is uninmanigable.
Author cj1988 Posted December 4, 2007 Author Posted December 4, 2007 Hello Gwyneth....I see you all ove this forum and I know you are one of the OW, but I do not care, you are have not anything to me and are very nice as well...... Do you really want to know about my H and the sister? It is weird and strange, but I am still here for some f---- reason......I am getting tired of this more and more everyday......I am stuck in a nightmare and cannot wake up !
MissMaris Posted December 4, 2007 Posted December 4, 2007 Reading this was horribly disturbing. There is something very wierd going on between them. You are right to be haunted by it. I would be HORRIFIED if I overheard something like that going on between my man and a so-called 'sibling'. Sick! Trust your gut, hon!
Author cj1988 Posted December 4, 2007 Author Posted December 4, 2007 Hello Miss Maris, I hate it, but my GUT is what led me to tape them in the first place. I knew when he started calling her ALL day long instead of me, that something was up. They kept saying I was jealous and had issues because they were getting to know each other and that was it.....ok, then why talk UGLY about me behind my back? He still claims it was innocent and they have a bond and IF I continue to bring it up he will leave, that is GROSS he said ! Right, I finally told him this weekend, that is fine because if I/ WE do not make peace with the disturbing things I heard, you will not have to leave, I WILL ! I told him, I do not care if it was innocent or not, that s---- killed my heart and my soul ! He said whatever, you and your sister talk crap about me all the time, always have! I said funny enogh, your sis apolgized for the things she said because she did not know me and did not have the right to talk like that, you have yet to apologize....he said she should not have done that, she did nothing wrong and I did not either.....this tape was over a year ago and I can still hear every word in my head....I am a fool !
bish Posted December 5, 2007 Posted December 5, 2007 I am trapped because I love him and want to be with him, but then again if this is true I cannot and will divorce him NOW. I hate being me right now ! So weak, not my style..... You are not weak, and you would be right to divorce...this is just disgusting. I feel for you. Good luck.
Inquirer Posted December 9, 2007 Posted December 9, 2007 Hello Miss Maris, I hate it, but my GUT is what led me to tape them in the first place. I knew when he started calling her ALL day long instead of me, that something was up. They kept saying I was jealous and had issues because they were getting to know each other and that was it.....ok, then why talk UGLY about me behind my back? He still claims it was innocent and they have a bond and IF I continue to bring it up he will leave, that is GROSS he said ! Right, I finally told him this weekend, that is fine because if I/ WE do not make peace with the disturbing things I heard, you will not have to leave, I WILL ! I told him, I do not care if it was innocent or not, that s---- killed my heart and my soul ! He said whatever, you and your sister talk crap about me all the time, always have! I said funny enogh, your sis apolgized for the things she said because she did not know me and did not have the right to talk like that, you have yet to apologize....he said she should not have done that, she did nothing wrong and I did not either.....this tape was over a year ago and I can still hear every word in my head....I am a fool ! CJ, I think I missed something in your earlier posts that makes you think your husband either had or is having sex with his sister? What specifically makes you think they had some kind of sexual relationship, and when do you think that it started?
Author cj1988 Posted December 10, 2007 Author Posted December 10, 2007 Hello Inquirer, to answer your question, it happened in phases. The first I thought something was odd, he was calling her everyday, not me as he did for 11 years. It started out they were talking once a day in the monring and then within a month it was 2 and then it was all day long. It went from 15 minutes a day to over an hour or more a day....when I confronted him about it, he got pissed and said it was his sister and they were getting to know each other...ok that sounds ok I guess. Next, they are like magnets when she around, they stare at each other all the time, I become invisible when she was around. Then they started taking late night swims when everyone else passed out....one night I woke up at 2AM could not find them, they were UNDER the dock talking, right ! So, i spoke up she said he was crying and got out, but she was shaking like leaf.....he continued to call her all day long, did not call me, did not want to....would get off work early and go over to his brothers house (next door to her) without telling me.....stay over there all day and come home late....then I caught him in a lie, accused him of being with her, she lied for him and covered it up....that was 10-18-06.....when i caught them under the dock we had been married a little over a month....you have to rermember she is over weight (pretty though) her H never pays attention to her, sleeps around and she knows, then you have my H, very attractive and shwoing her undivided attention and me NONE. We start having problems in the bedroom, I find STAMAX (sexual inhancement drug) in his truck....not for me ! I had enough and when the answering machine caught the awful conversation (ugly about me) I knew they were both SICK M---- f----- and liars.. She has the balls to do that to the very person that found her and brought them 2 toghether. she has the balls to talk about my sister her H was crazy about like she was a whore when she is all over her brother....she is lower than any trash I know ! I hope she can sleep at night knowing what she is....an incestiuos lieing B----- ! One day it will all come out and they will loose everything including the kids.....so they are lucky that tape has not appeared yet ! Sick, sick people in this world ! Last, they kept talking even after the tape for months and probably kept doing whatever it is they were doing, while I feel apart....he H was fine, he did not hear the tape, he was fine....I was in hell and he was calling her, hey baby, hey sweetie.......while he was telling me I was crazy and he wanted a divorce ! I am not the crazy one !
KarmaSutra Posted December 10, 2007 Posted December 10, 2007 . . . is how does her vagina and the other nether parts of her anatomy taste by-proxy? When he leans in to kiss you imagine in your mind that those lips were just between her legs. Her moist, quivering legs. If that doesn't force you to confront what's gong on nothing will. You stay because you're addicted to the drama and you love taking rides on the emotional rollercoaster this farce provides to your life. Stop acting like an infant and make a decision for yourself instead of relying on what people on an internet forum give you. You keep shooting up this drivel like heroin and you're just as addicted and pathetic. Think of this as an intervention and tough love.
Author cj1988 Posted December 10, 2007 Author Posted December 10, 2007 Karma, not that I have to explain anything to you especially since I am pathetic, I am not addicted to drama, I happen to love the man and thanks for the visual, I hope you are happy hurting the aleard hurting people.....stay out of my thread if you cannot be nicer. I would never do that to anyone that is having a hard time....you must be a MAN !
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