shadowsfall Posted November 13, 2007 Posted November 13, 2007 Hey everyone I just wanted to post my current situation for some feedback. My girlfriend of 2 years and I almost broke up today. Bottom line was and has been that she REFUSES to bring me around her male friends (2guys) because of past incidents where I have (in her eyes) acted impolite/aggressive toward them. One of her male friends in particular (who happends to be her boss) and I have had a very rocky relationship without actually ever meeting. She's known him longer than she's known me so they have had a frienship for a while. They went out together one night behind my back and she lied to me repeatedly about it. She said she couldn't tell me because she was afraid I wouldn't understand. Anyway she apologized and begged for forgiveness after talking for a little while, and I asked her not to hang out with him for a short while after that so I can become cool with things again. So as time went on it became easier again to trust and her and her female & male friends started hanging out again (no solo's this time). The trust and loyalty was nearly regained. Jumping ahead now to the present she has continually thrown a couple incidents in my face where I have acted negatively toward her male friends. One was back on her birthday when I accused her of not being socially intimate with me in front of her male friends (maybe this was out of line of me?). She say's that when I drink I become violent and she's afraid I'm going to do something or make a scene with them. However not once have I ever got in there face or done anything violent toward them to indicate I mislike them. She however know's that I hated her boss for a while after that lying incident so I would constantly talk down about him to her. But as time went on I got over what happened with the guy by getting a better observation of how they act toward eachother on the phone/email. I've never found anything incriminating so I put it behind me. What lead to the almost breakup was today when she said she wanted to go to a bar with them Friday night, and then a casino on Saturday and stay overnight. I asked her If I was invited and she said NO because she doesn't feel comfortable with me around her male friends. SO now that I'm ready to move on and let bigons be bigons, she refuses to bring me around her male friends at all? I told her that I can't imagine why if she has the power to fix a problem she refuses to because she's afraid of what MIGHT happen. Makes me question how much she really cares about us, because I feel like she's choosing them over me. My question is, do you think I'm being unreasonable asking her to bring me around them once in a while? I really want to put things behind us and move on but she won't give me the chance to do that? Or do you think It's a red flag that she doesn't want me around these guys? Any advice would be great, thanks in advance!
Author shadowsfall Posted November 13, 2007 Author Posted November 13, 2007 Does anyone have any response at all they can give me? I'm having a lot of trouble deciding what to do.
Spinderella Posted November 13, 2007 Posted November 13, 2007 Yes, your mistake is that you are displaying the exact kind of behaviour that makes her feel uncomfortable bringing male friends around. Either you trust her, in which case, she doesnt need to prove anything to you. Or you dont, in which case either leave her, or work out why it is you dont trust her, not excluding self evaluation from the task.
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