Lovegod Posted November 14, 2007 Posted November 14, 2007 Lovegod, answer my question since you're so honest. Wow, are you ever impatient! Forgive me if I have other things to do besides discuss dating with some girl on the internet. Do you tell women you are dating others? If they ask, yes. If a woman proves herself to be compatible with me, and is ideal to have a long term relationship with, then I will make her exclusive. When there's a quality woman by your side, there is no need to date others.
Trialbyfire Posted November 14, 2007 Posted November 14, 2007 If they ask, yes. Manipulation, lying by omission and lying are all the same. It ensures that power and control remain with the person who has due knowledge. More bad business and for certain, not my definition of an honest person.
Lovegod Posted November 14, 2007 Posted November 14, 2007 Manipulation, lying by omission and lying are all the same. I'm really interested in the term "lying by omission". So, if I don't tell the cashier at the grocery store that I enjoy listening to Guns n Roses, am I lying? Just for fun, let's look the word "lie" in the dictionary... http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&client=opera&rls=en&hs=Vxn&defl=en&q=define:lie&sa=X&oi=glossary_definition&ct=title A lie is an untruthful statement made to someone else with the intention to deceive. To lie is to say something one believes to be false with the intention that it be taken for the truth by someone else. A liar is a person who is known to have a tendency to tell lies. So, to lie is to make a false statement. To not say anything is not lying. But why the hell is any of this relevant to someone you're not in a relationship with?
Trialbyfire Posted November 14, 2007 Posted November 14, 2007 I'm really interested in the term "lying by omission". So, if I don't tell the cashier at the grocery store that I enjoy listening to Guns n Roses, am I lying? Just for fun, let's look the word "lie" in the dictionary... http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&client=opera&rls=en&hs=Vxn&defl=en&q=define:lie&sa=X&oi=glossary_definition&ct=title So, to lie is to make a false statement. To not say anything is not lying. But why the hell is any of this relevant to someone you're not in a relationship with? We would debate semantics for hours on end and I doubt you would understand ethics and integrity. But whatever...
oppath Posted November 14, 2007 Posted November 14, 2007 Lovegod, he is under the impression that she is not dating others because she told him she had no interest in dating others. Since she is dating someone else, she therefore has lied to him. Are you saying that because they have not agreed to be exclusive, that it is ok to tell someone "no, I am not dating anyone else" when you actually are? I know you are not saying that. Lying by omission is when you fail to disclose information that can allow the other person to make an informed decision about his/her life. Obviously, there is a large gray area around what makes information significant enough that it should be shared. As a hypothetical...is it lying if you are dating someone, but are not exclusive, and you plan on moving out of town in 3 months and they do not know it? Just because you are not exclusive, does that mean someone has no right to that information? Would it be ok to terminate the relationship and say "I'm moving in a week?" Of course not. Just because you are not exclusive, if you date a woman for 3 months and don't disclose that information, even if you say "I don't want to be exclusive," you are still responsible for some of her feelings. In that hypothetical, you would be withholding information that could allow her to make the decision: do I want to date this guy at all? Just because you are not exclusive with someone does not mean you have no relationship, it is just a more casual relationship, and I would say that the right thing to do is to tell any dating partner information that you feel is significant enough that it may allow them to make a choice regarding their casual relationship with you. This does not mean "I had sex doggy style last night with someone else" but it does mean "I am not ready for a committed relationship and want to date other people." She has told him "I know you want to be my boyfriend, but I am not ready for that; however, I am not interested in dating anyone else." She needs to modify the 2nd half of that sentence to say "I am dating others."
norajane Posted November 14, 2007 Posted November 14, 2007 To not say anything is not lying. Hmm, yes, remind yourself of that when someone omits telling you she has herpes before you have sex with her. Especially when you've asked if she's been tested and she says, yes, she has been tested but just stops there and omits the rest. She may even go so far as to tell you she tested clean for VD, gonorrhea, etc., but omits telling you about the herpes.
Lovegod Posted November 14, 2007 Posted November 14, 2007 The sexually transmitted disease argument can open up a whole new can of worms. What if she doesn't know she's infected? You're taking that chance by having sex with her. You take more of a chance when you don't use a rubber. There are all kinds of "what ifs" that we could ask in this thread, and it'll continue on for another four pages, but I'm tired of going around in circles, so I'm going to bed. Night all.
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