scubafish Posted November 12, 2007 Posted November 12, 2007 Hi, I was looking through these posts last night, and one had a 'quoted' section, where the writer made some great comments about the affair partner being 'addicted' to the drama. I can't find it now, does anyone remember where? Thanks!
Triarge Posted November 15, 2007 Posted November 15, 2007 It wasnt LadyJanes by any chance? Quote: Heck, you see 'drama queen/kings' from time to time that are so addicted to it that they keep their lives (and those around them) in a more or less constant state of upheaval. But that's more of an addiction rather than a healthy thing. I read something similar in a book called "The Power Of Now" (highly recommended) regarding "Love/Hate" cycles. To quote Eckhart... Quote: Unless and until you access the consciousness frequency of presence , all relationships , and particularly intimate relationships , are deeply flawed and ultimately dysfunctional . They may seem perfect for a while , such as when you are “ in love “ , but invariably that apparent perfection gets disrupted as arguments , conflicts , dissatisfaction , and emotional and even physical violence occur with increasing frequency . It seems that most “love relationships” become love/hate relationships before long . Love can then even turn to savage attack , feeling of hostility , or complete withdrawal of affection at the flick of a switch . This is considered normal . Th relationship then oscillates for a while , a few months or a few years , between the polarities of “love” and hate , and it gives you as much pleasure as it gives you pain . It is not uncommon for couples to become addicted to those cycles .Their drama makes them feel alive . When a balance between positive / negative polarities is lost and the negative , destructive cycles occur with increasing frequency and intensity, which tends to happen sooner or later , then it will not be long before the relationship collapses . It may appear that if you could only eliminate the negative or destructive cycles , then all would be well and the relationship would flower beautifully ---------- but alas , this is not possible . The polarities are mutually interdependent .You cannot have one with out the other. The positive already contains within itself the as yet unmanifested negative . Both are in fact different aspects of the same dysfunction. I am speaking here of what is commonly called romantic relationships ------ not of true love ,which has no opposite because it arises from beyond the mind .love as a continuous state is as yet very rare---- as rare as conscious human beings .Brief and elusive glimpses of love , however , are possible whenever there is a gap in the stream of mind .
Art_Critic Posted November 15, 2007 Posted November 15, 2007 this thread ? http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?t=135068 I think the post was on page 3... Here... http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showpost.php?p=1403572&postcount=33
Author scubafish Posted November 16, 2007 Author Posted November 16, 2007 yes, that is it, I looked through those posts over and over, but must have missed it! Funny, I was talking about that same subject , and here the next day, I read that which spelled it out so much better!
Impudent Oyster Posted November 16, 2007 Posted November 16, 2007 I think there's some validity to that theory.
Author scubafish Posted November 16, 2007 Author Posted November 16, 2007 yes, after a bit of a backslide, and a long talk, my guy pretty much said this about his feelings, and it was before I even read that post! He claims that he knows better, that he knows he doesn't want that life, and he shouldn't talk to her, or see her, but he can't stop himslef. He said it is like he is 'addicted to the drama', his exact words. maybe there is hope, because before this, he would get very upset when I talked about the 'addictive' feelings. I wanted to show him this bit, so he can see it is real, and why.
Ladyjane14 Posted November 17, 2007 Posted November 17, 2007 Triarge posted this article on another thread. I don't know if you caught it or not, but it was really good: http://www.reuniting.info/science/coolidge_effect
Recommended Posts