goodguy15 Posted November 12, 2007 Posted November 12, 2007 Well here it goes.I'm having a hard time in my relationship with my girlfriend and we've been dating for one month shy of 2 years, so I am having a hard time comprehending that I've been treated like a human being by my girlfriend.So, she tells me how sexy i am or how hansome I am because I never delt with that before with anybody.And i don't know how to react to it and it's confusing me.I've been in some bad relationships in the past where I've been used and abused and not treated fairly.And I'm dealing with alot of heartache in this relationship and it's starting to catch up with me.It's very hard for me to look into the future because i have all these obstacles to conker and i don't know how to handle it.Because I'm inexperienced to go this far in a relationship and it's scaring me because I never been tied down to one person before.My longest realtionship was 14 months.And on the other I've lost 2 jobs in the past year which doesn't help anything due to being laid off.Any help would be deeply appreciated.
Elyssa Posted November 12, 2007 Posted November 12, 2007 Does your girlfriend know that your previous relationships were abusive? She says those things to you thinking that you might like to hear she feels that way about you (it's a good thing that she does!) and then you feel awkward.. she probably notices it and she's wondering if she said something wrong. Two years is definitely a pretty serious relationship and it might be time to have a conversation with her and tell her about your previous relationships and how they affected you. It might be easier for you to deal with your feelings if she knows why you're having them and you can be honest with her about it. Communication with your partner is the key to a healthy relationship. Take your relationship one day at a time for now instead of making yourself sick thinking of the future. The rest will come on its own when the time is right. -E
acrosstheroom Posted November 12, 2007 Posted November 12, 2007 It sounds like your GF is very happy with you and likes to compliment you, which is a good thing. A lot of people forget to compliment their significant other after dating for that long. I would be very happy if I were you about getting the compliments. How I would handle this situation is: I would approach your GF after a nice dinner and tell her how much you love her and appreciate her and like the way things are headed. Then go onto saying how you have had some really rough relationships in the past, you can go into detail if you want, but its up to you, give her enough information to understand why they were rough. Tell her about how you get confused and don’t know how to handle the compliments. Be SURE you tell her over and over that you love her and don’t want to break up or anything along those lines, but wanted to bring this up to make your relationship that much stronger. Hope some of that helps.
Author goodguy15 Posted November 14, 2007 Author Posted November 14, 2007 Well, I did say I loved her once but that was 2 years ago on New Years Eve but haven't said it once because i don't to hurt her in anyway.But I do tell her I miss her.Everything was happening so fast that we were talking about marraige for the first few weeks we were dating but we were stupid to think that but now we don't and we don't want to talk about yet because we're not ready for it and it scared us.She wants to keep it going no matter the circumstances but sometimes I feel like i want to take a break because we dated so long.How do you really keep it going if it starts to get old or boring because we can't go for movies or museums and etc as much because we don't have the money right now to do special things like we used to.I can't even hold hands with her anymore but we used to do it all the time its because I've been through heartaches and especially I'm getting sensitive when she does and plus she rubs her thumb on my hand it drives me crazy.I never had anybody loved me this much before and i don't know how to handle it still.I'm not trying to sound like a jerk or anything it's hard for me to accept it and comprehend it. And she doesn't want to lose me but I tell you're not going to but shes worried that she will but she gonna do if she does because I can't take it anymore of my pains of the past relationships. Please help thanks.
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