lost4ever Posted November 12, 2007 Posted November 12, 2007 I have a male friend (just a friend) lately when we get into conversations he will make crude comments (not about me, just about women in general), Do you think this is because he thinks of me a buddy (like he would one of his male friends) or did he somewhere along the way lose all respect for me as a women? example of comment: Yeah, she not very pretty but I would still F her from behind with the lights out, no women is ugly enough for that. He is a crude person, I have heard him talk to other men this way a few times, but I have never heard him say it in front of another women.
Citizen Erased Posted November 12, 2007 Posted November 12, 2007 omg my male friends would never dream of talking like that in front of me, let alone to me. Most of them refuse to even swear.
Tony T Posted November 12, 2007 Posted November 12, 2007 I have a male friend (just a friend) lately when we get into conversations he will make crude comments (not about me, just about women in general), Do you think this is because he thinks of me a buddy (like he would one of his male friends) or did he somewhere along the way lose all respect for me as a women? example of comment: Yeah, she not very pretty but I would still F her from behind with the lights out, no women is ugly enough for that. He is a crude person, I have heard him talk to other men this way a few times, but I have never heard him say it in front of another women. He's getting a bit too comfortable around you and seeing you as one of the boys. You need to simply tell him to tone down his mouth when you're around. It shouldn't take more than that.
Author lost4ever Posted November 12, 2007 Author Posted November 12, 2007 If it's not a disrespect thing, then I guess I shouldn't have a problem with it right, or will it lead to disrespect if I let it countinue?
JamesM Posted November 12, 2007 Posted November 12, 2007 If it's not a disrespect thing, then I guess I shouldn't have a problem with it right, or will it lead to disrespect if I let it continue? It IS a disrespect thing to all women in general, and you have every right to be offended. If he said that type of stuff in front of me, then I would be offended and say something. Personally, my male friends nor I would talk that way to each other, and any women who have been friends or more would be appalled if I used such language.
Pyro Posted November 12, 2007 Posted November 12, 2007 He's getting a bit too comfortable around you and seeing you as one of the boys. You need to simply tell him to tone down his mouth when you're around. It shouldn't take more than that. Sounds about right. There is a female in a group of my friends who is considered one of the guys. She doesn't seem to mind that kind of discussion.
Author lost4ever Posted November 12, 2007 Author Posted November 12, 2007 Sounds about right. There is a female in a group of my friends who is considered one of the guys. She doesn't seem to mind that kind of discussion. I'm not as much worried about if she minds, as to why you guys do it.....If it's a comfort thing, then why don't I hear this guy, or others talk this way around their wives?
Woggle Posted November 12, 2007 Posted November 12, 2007 It's a guy thing and not meant as disprespect. It is just the way we talk and the reason many men don't talk this way around our wives is because many are afraid to be themselves around them. I talk this way around my wife and she doesn't mind.
DutchGuy Posted November 12, 2007 Posted November 12, 2007 You should ask him how he would react if an other guy talked about you in that manner.
Trialbyfire Posted November 12, 2007 Posted November 12, 2007 A male friend is no different than a female friend. If any friend says anything you find offensive, don't be afraid to call them on it. Try not to sweat the small stuff though.
Blue Eyed Brain Posted November 12, 2007 Posted November 12, 2007 It's an indicator to who he really is...... for better or for worse. I would politely let him know that it's not what you want to hear or yell out "TMI, TMI" (too much information) and he should then get the hint.
Pyro Posted November 12, 2007 Posted November 12, 2007 I'm not as much worried about if she minds, as to why you guys do it.....If it's a comfort thing, then why don't I hear this guy, or others talk this way around their wives? I don't do it, so I couldn't tell you. If its disrespectful to you, then say something, but they are only words, so try to not let it get to you.
Mustang Sally Posted November 12, 2007 Posted November 12, 2007 I'm not as much worried about if she minds, as to why you guys do it.....If it's a comfort thing, then why don't I hear this guy, or others talk this way around their wives? Hmmmm. Maybe it's kind of like posturing for the position of dominance? You know...beating their chests when they are in groups of other males, etc? Just a thought...
Pyro Posted November 12, 2007 Posted November 12, 2007 Hmmmm. Maybe it's kind of like posturing for the position of dominance? You know...beating their chests when they are in groups of other males, etc? Just a thought... Yeah. The things we do to try and dominate.
Lovegod Posted November 13, 2007 Posted November 13, 2007 Sounds like he just doesn't give a 5hit if you hear it or not. There's also a good chance that he doesn't find you attractive since he's obviously not worried about offending you.
Author lost4ever Posted November 13, 2007 Author Posted November 13, 2007 Sounds like he just doesn't give a 5hit if you hear it or not. There's also a good chance that he doesn't find you attractive since he's obviously not worried about offending you. Wow, how insightful....
monkey00 Posted November 13, 2007 Posted November 13, 2007 There could be a possiblity he wants to get into your pants. But speaks this way out of bitterness to make you jealous. I've seen certain people be bitter with the opposite sex because things aren't working out for them in the dating scene as they would hope.
Lovegod Posted November 13, 2007 Posted November 13, 2007 Its a peace bunny,and here's one for you! Cool! Anybody got George W's email address? I'm gonna send him hundreds of these things.
bigheartkindsoul Posted November 13, 2007 Posted November 13, 2007 Say to him, hey even ugly guys get laid even once in their lives, even you! On a seriously note I would say to him to shut up and do not make comments like that in front of you, YOU ARE NOT ONE OF THE GUYS and do it with them instead, PLEASE. Be firm and assertive about it.
littlekitty Posted November 13, 2007 Posted November 13, 2007 You've slipped into the zone of 'male friend'. He obviously feels so comfortable around you that he feels he can talk like he would to his male friends. Perhaps in some way you've had conversations that have made him feel it's ok to say these types of things in front of you. Do you have a problem with it? Or are you just wondering why? Men don't tend to talk this way in front of their wives because a 'comfotable friend' is very different that the women you love!! Of course that depends on the wife and how she feels about that type of stuff. Remember the Friends episode where Joey goes to make a comment about a women, and then realises that it's only Pheobe and Rachel there?
elaina Posted November 19, 2007 Posted November 19, 2007 Say to him, hey even ugly guys get laid even once in their lives, even you! On a seriously note I would say to him to shut up and do not make comments like that in front of you, YOU ARE NOT ONE OF THE GUYS and do it with them instead, PLEASE. Be firm and assertive about it. Lol I liked that advice! Well, maybe it isn't good to insult him I don't know. Make a joke where he doesn't know if he's being insulted or not... maybe he'll think twice before saying crude things in your hearing again but yeah DEFINITELY tell him to respect even jokingly if you are scared to any other way, like saying Hey don't say things like that around me or I'm gonna tell the boss... or sue you for sexual harrassment.. cause actually if you think about it he's being very unprofessional unless he's in that type of moneymaking and if the women heard him many would consider that sexual harrassment... yep that's it. He needs to be sued, maybe that'll cure his crudeness... where's a lawyer when you need one?
michelangelo Posted November 19, 2007 Posted November 19, 2007 he may just be dumb enough to think that some day you'll respond: "so, am I too ugly to eff from behind with the lights off?" I'm pretty sure he'd faint dead away if you did...
sderenzi Posted November 19, 2007 Posted November 19, 2007 [COLOR=#990000]elaina female, greetings to you [/COLOR] [COLOR=#990000]I don't really care about this man, don't think he's sexually harassing you that's nonsense, what if you called a guy cute or that he had a fine ass? No I'm afraid he seems like he's just bored and trying to indicate this to you. He likely doesn't want you so do not concern yourself on this matter, the issue is whether you will accept being one of the guys or not. I suppose I see no reason you can't just say to him that you're a women and don't like to hear this sort of thing, any man would understand that.[/COLOR] [COLOR=#990000]Also I would probably ask how much he does this, is it all the time or every so often. Let's not be to hasty though, you can really do whatever you like about this, if you're as twisted as me then say something like "well why don't we try that instead of just talking about it." That'll be fun for you and him, that'd certainly shut him up since he'd see you as a women more.[/COLOR]
elaina Posted November 20, 2007 Posted November 20, 2007 [COLOR=#990000]elaina female, greetings to you [/COLOR] [COLOR=#990000]I don't really care about this man, don't think he's sexually harassing you that's nonsense, what if you called a guy cute or that he had a fine ass? No I'm afraid he seems like he's just bored and trying to indicate this to you. He likely doesn't want you so do not concern yourself on this matter, the issue is whether you will accept being one of the guys or not. I suppose I see no reason you can't just say to him that you're a women and don't like to hear this sort of thing, any man would understand that.[/COLOR] [COLOR=#990000]Also I would probably ask how much he does this, is it all the time or every so often. Let's not be to hasty though, you can really do whatever you like about this, if you're as twisted as me then say something like "well why don't we try that instead of just talking about it." That'll be fun for you and him, that'd certainly shut him up since he'd see you as a women more.[/COLOR] My name isn't Elaina female it's Elaina get it straight. and no the sexual harrassment isn't nonsense. Saying a guy is cute or complimenting him is totally different than the remarks this blankety-blank has been making to this girl about other girls. I still want to know where a lawyer is when you need one...
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