Krytie TV Posted November 12, 2007 Posted November 12, 2007 Perhaps I've just been cursed with poor luck lately, but there's a disturbing trend. Do women nowadays no longer feel it's important to inform you that they have a boyfriend or fiance (no, not all women wear their rings all the time) when a guy asks them out? And what's with the freakin touching if you're hitched? I flirted with one girl for months. I finally met up with her on a night out, as planned, and had the pleasure of meeting her fiance. That was relevant information I would think. I have also had another boyfriend experience recently as well. And these were both girls who were doing the touching and flirting thing. I just don't understand. I am going out with a girl next weekend and just have this feeling that there's something I'm going to find out, and just because I didn't say the words "do you have a boyfriend". As if I'm asking her out so we can go back to my place and bake cookies and and browse Jo-Ann fabrics or something. Are we really at the point where I have to start every interaction with "...so, do you have a boyfriend" in order to find out this small important detail?
Citizen Erased Posted November 12, 2007 Posted November 12, 2007 I find this really odd. I myself tell any guy if I've been talking to them for longer then 5 minutes that I have a bf. And I certainly tell them if they ask me out! It saves the inevitable headache that will occur later on
Pyro Posted November 12, 2007 Posted November 12, 2007 Perhaps I've just been cursed with poor luck lately, but there's a disturbing trend. Do women nowadays no longer feel it's important to inform you that they have a boyfriend or fiance (no, not all women wear their rings all the time) when a guy asks them out? And what's with the freakin touching if you're hitched? I flirted with one girl for months. I finally met up with her on a night out, as planned, and had the pleasure of meeting her fiance. That was relevant information I would think. I have also had another boyfriend experience recently as well. And these were both girls who were doing the touching and flirting thing. I just don't understand. I am going out with a girl next weekend and just have this feeling that there's something I'm going to find out, and just because I didn't say the words "do you have a boyfriend". As if I'm asking her out so we can go back to my place and bake cookies and and browse Jo-Ann fabrics or something. Are we really at the point where I have to start every interaction with "...so, do you have a boyfriend" in order to find out this small important detail? That is inexcusable for them not telling you up front. They were just using you for an ego boost. Sorry about that K TV. Here is a suggestion that I use to use back in the day: (In a sarcastic tone of voice) "so would your BF be offended if I were to ask you out on a date?" For the most part, they found it funny and told me that they had no BF.
Citizen Erased Posted November 12, 2007 Posted November 12, 2007 oooh Ridds haven't seen your sexy behind around here lately Yeah Krytie I agree, use that sort of line and it should weed out the taken ones for you... well the ones who don't care if you know they are taken
Pyro Posted November 12, 2007 Posted November 12, 2007 oooh Ridds haven't seen your sexy behind around here lately Yeah Krytie I agree, use that sort of line and it should weed out the taken ones for you... well the ones who don't care if you know they are taken I shouldn't be here right now. I vowed to stay away until my school project was finished. Time is winding down and I have alot to go. *Shakes sexy behind for DC.* I hope the next date goes well for you K TV.
Citizen Erased Posted November 12, 2007 Posted November 12, 2007 I shouldn't be here right now. I vowed to stay away until my school project was finished. Time is winding down and I have alot to go. *Shakes sexy behind for DC.* I hope the next date goes well for you K TV. Yeah I remember someone told me that. Ahh you've made my day sweetie
Lyssa Posted November 12, 2007 Posted November 12, 2007 LOL - D_C is right. I tell any guy that I have a BF after 5 or 10 mins into conversation. It's an information that I wouldn't want to hide. Telling a guy that I am in a serious relationship shows that I respect my BF and our relationship.
analyseThis Posted November 12, 2007 Posted November 12, 2007 LOL - D_C is right. I tell any guy that I have a BF after 5 or 10 mins into conversation. It's an information that I wouldn't want to hide. Telling a guy that I am in a serious relationship shows that I respect my BF and our relationship. Bingo! finally some one who gets it. When women cover up the fact that they have a significant other or a bf; they are basically disrespecting all the happy memories and the nice things the bf or s/o has done for em. They also in essence do not deserve to be with a guy who treat them well. .
Racquel Colette Posted November 12, 2007 Posted November 12, 2007 You really shouldn't be asking a girl back to your place on the first date, anyway.
Pyro Posted November 12, 2007 Posted November 12, 2007 You really shouldn't be asking a girl back to your place on the first date, anyway. The OP was being sarcastic in that remark.
Citizen Erased Posted November 12, 2007 Posted November 12, 2007 You really shouldn't be asking a girl back to your place on the first date, anyway. ahh hilarious yeah Krytie you naughty boy.
Author Krytie TV Posted November 12, 2007 Author Posted November 12, 2007 You really shouldn't be asking a girl back to your place on the first date, anyway. Why not, I have a Jo-Ann Fabrics catalog and all the cookie dough you could need for a night.
Lyssa Posted November 12, 2007 Posted November 12, 2007 As if I'm asking her out so we can go back to my place and bake cookies and and browse Jo-Ann fabrics or something. I just realised that part!!
ahah2322 Posted November 12, 2007 Posted November 12, 2007 i wouldn't tell if it was just a friendly convo for it would be kinda weird. but once i get any hint of the convo being a hook-up, i would politely share that i have a bf. it's the right thing to do... maybe they thought you were just being friendly (in the platonic sense)? in that case, i would see no need to divulge such information.
Phateless Posted November 12, 2007 Posted November 12, 2007 Perhaps I've just been cursed with poor luck lately, but there's a disturbing trend. Do women nowadays no longer feel it's important to inform you that they have a boyfriend or fiance (no, not all women wear their rings all the time) when a guy asks them out? And what's with the freakin touching if you're hitched? I flirted with one girl for months. I finally met up with her on a night out, as planned, and had the pleasure of meeting her fiance. That was relevant information I would think. I have also had another boyfriend experience recently as well. And these were both girls who were doing the touching and flirting thing. I just don't understand. I am going out with a girl next weekend and just have this feeling that there's something I'm going to find out, and just because I didn't say the words "do you have a boyfriend". As if I'm asking her out so we can go back to my place and bake cookies and and browse Jo-Ann fabrics or something. Are we really at the point where I have to start every interaction with "...so, do you have a boyfriend" in order to find out this small important detail? I completely agree with you, and it irritates me as well. I've started finding ways to intentionally flush that truth out, and then bust them on it! It's kinda fun, lol. I had this one girl at swing dancing who was definitely giving me all the buying signs and lingering as if waiting for me to ask for her number. She mentioned that her weekends are always full and so I asked her what she's always doing and she admits "...iiiiii have a booooyyyfriieendddd........". She knew she had been busted, lol. I kept it friendly tho and I look forward to chatting with her again tomorrow.
Ocean-Blue Posted November 12, 2007 Posted November 12, 2007 Perhaps I've just been cursed with poor luck lately, but there's a disturbing trend. Do women nowadays no longer feel it's important to inform you that they have a boyfriend or fiance (no, not all women wear their rings all the time) when a guy asks them out? And what's with the freakin touching if you're hitched? I flirted with one girl for months. I finally met up with her on a night out, as planned, and had the pleasure of meeting her fiance. That was relevant information I would think. I have also had another boyfriend experience recently as well. And these were both girls who were doing the touching and flirting thing. I just don't understand. I am going out with a girl next weekend and just have this feeling that there's something I'm going to find out, and just because I didn't say the words "do you have a boyfriend". As if I'm asking her out so we can go back to my place and bake cookies and and browse Jo-Ann fabrics or something. Are we really at the point where I have to start every interaction with "...so, do you have a boyfriend" in order to find out this small important detail? I'm a friendly person. During the odd times that I do venture out (when I'm at school), I chat it up with people (male and female). Some may misconstrue my friendliness to be flirtation... So that's one point: what may be flirting to you may not be to her (unless she's draping her body on your or gyrating her hips into yours). I also find that men react REALLY strangely when you drop the B Bomb. If I'm having an interesting conversation with a guy and I happen to mention my bf, they get all weird and almost flustered. I hate that pause of awkwardness...I really do. So, in the hopes of avoiding such weirdness, I don't mention the bf unless it's relevant. Also bear in mind that some men think that the mention of one's SO =s you telling him to back off b/c you're taken (they think you're being presumptuous). I've had my guy friends tell me that they hate it when a girl mentions having a bf out of the blue...it's as if she were implying that he was interested in her... Perhaps these are some reasons why you've encountered what you have...?
Pedigree Posted November 12, 2007 Posted November 12, 2007 Do women nowadays no longer feel it's important to inform you that they have a boyfriend or fiance (no, not all women wear their rings all the time) when a guy asks them out? Never have that problem. On the occasions that I tried to get with a girl who was already taken, I get the information fairly quickly (Record was within 30 seconds). I had always thought that it was just an inadvertent thing because the girls in question seem so casual in saying it. But looking at some of the posts, perhaps things aren't as inadvertent as I thought.
LoisLane Posted November 12, 2007 Posted November 12, 2007 I don't tell guys I have a boyfriend cos I just don't want them to know.
lino Posted November 12, 2007 Posted November 12, 2007 sometimes you just need to ask, no other way around it.
squeak Posted November 12, 2007 Posted November 12, 2007 I'm a friendly person. During the odd times that I do venture out (when I'm at school), I chat it up with people (male and female). Some may misconstrue my friendliness to be flirtation... So that's one point: what may be flirting to you may not be to her (unless she's draping her body on your or gyrating her hips into yours). I also find that men react REALLY strangely when you drop the B Bomb. If I'm having an interesting conversation with a guy and I happen to mention my bf, they get all weird and almost flustered. I hate that pause of awkwardness...I really do. So, in the hopes of avoiding such weirdness, I don't mention the bf unless it's relevant. Also bear in mind that some men think that the mention of one's SO =s you telling him to back off b/c you're taken (they think you're being presumptuous). I've had my guy friends tell me that they hate it when a girl mentions having a bf out of the blue...it's as if she were implying that he was interested in her... Perhaps these are some reasons why you've encountered what you have...? Same here-I always felt presumptuous to just mention it off the bat, because it sends the message "I know you're interested in me" and I don't assume that to be the case. Plus-I feel like that is my personal business-if I'm talking business or networking-it just seems odd to bring it up without having a specific topic being brought up (for example: how was your weekend? How was that movie?) But neither Ocean blur or I are being touchy/flirty--so it would be presumptuous of the guy to assume anything too. If I see someone repeatedly-like at work/conventions-then I definitely bring it up, so as to put off any potential weirdness. Strange you are encountering a pattern!
Phateless Posted November 12, 2007 Posted November 12, 2007 I'm a friendly person. During the odd times that I do venture out (when I'm at school), I chat it up with people (male and female). Some may misconstrue my friendliness to be flirtation... So that's one point: what may be flirting to you may not be to her (unless she's draping her body on your or gyrating her hips into yours). I also find that men react REALLY strangely when you drop the B Bomb. If I'm having an interesting conversation with a guy and I happen to mention my bf, they get all weird and almost flustered. I hate that pause of awkwardness...I really do. So, in the hopes of avoiding such weirdness, I don't mention the bf unless it's relevant. Also bear in mind that some men think that the mention of one's SO =s you telling him to back off b/c you're taken (they think you're being presumptuous). I've had my guy friends tell me that they hate it when a girl mentions having a bf out of the blue...it's as if she were implying that he was interested in her... Perhaps these are some reasons why you've encountered what you have...? Most of the time men react strangely is precisely because it's relevant information. If they didn't think they had a chance with you or weren't interested it wouldn't matter. Why don't you just say something as simple as "oh yeah, bf listens to them too". When I was taken I was always mentioning the gf pretty quickly because I just wanted it out in the open. If I'm chatting with a girl for a while and she mentions her boyfriend i do not let it phase me at all. If I enjoy chatting with her I just keep right on, but it's something I would like to be aware of BEFORE I try to ask for her number. The guy's adverse reactions is their own fault. To me, it just lets me know that I should not bother flirting or trying, but it doesn't mean I have to stop talking to her and it certainly won't change that conversation right then and there. You're a pretty girl, guys who talk to you will be interested. It happens.
underpants Posted November 12, 2007 Posted November 12, 2007 If someone has a girlfriend or boyfriend and they are open to flirting and (sort of) dating you then there is a problem. I don't understand it, but, whatever. It does seem to be a pattern for some. Just don't be surprized if you persue someone that shows interest in you whilst with another, when they one day leave you for another.
bish Posted November 12, 2007 Posted November 12, 2007 Perhaps I've just been cursed with poor luck lately, but there's a disturbing trend. Do women nowadays no longer feel it's important to inform you that they have a boyfriend or fiance (no, not all women wear their rings all the time) when a guy asks them out? And what's with the freakin touching if you're hitched? Well doesn't a man get called a lying cheating sleazeball if he does this when he is in a committed relationship?
Trialbyfire Posted November 12, 2007 Posted November 12, 2007 If you read the OW/OM forum, apparently being married doesn't seem to matter to a lot of people, nvm being out on the prowl while hooked up with a b/f or g/f. Krytie, it's what happens when you play the numbers game with strangers. You'll meet some ethical women and other times you'll meet the less than ethical types. No matter how much you ask the question, you'll also meet the type that will lie to your face.
Art_Critic Posted November 12, 2007 Posted November 12, 2007 sometimes you just need to ask, no other way around it. I agree with Lino... I have always asked a girl first.. I never really did it to weed out women that would flirt/lead me on even though they had a BF.. I did it because I felt it was polite.. Why would it be alright if I assumed that they are single and rather than embarrass myself I would ask first... I think you just felt used by her when you found out your moves had been wasted on her.. She did use you somewhat knowing that she was never going to do anything with you.. Just ask next time...
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