Lucky555 Posted November 12, 2007 Posted November 12, 2007 Guys have wanted to know about my history, now i like to leave the past the past and just progress forward. I literally do not like hearing about every detail about the guys past gf's nor would i think he wants to hear about my past bf's. However, i would like him to be free of STDs health is a whole other issue which can be summed up with just discussing health. I have nothing to hide with past relationships but i do not like talking about them because i don't see the point. I think by talking about my past relationships it would cause doubt, jealousy, prejudgments and just mixed emotions on both our parts. So how much detail should one give about their past. Can't i just say well it was wonderful and meaningful while they had lasted and i have moved on...what more is there to say! And also what types of questions are these and i think they are too much info for dating and cause for a potential relationship to go spiraling downward! The past few guys i have dated have said this in the beginning: How many guys have u been with? Why did u break up? Did you have an abusive relationship? What was he like? what was his name? Would i know him? How long did you see him for? What was your longest relationship? (this one has come up the most, what is its relevance? Just seeing how attached, how hurt i was or maybe seeing if i just jumped from person to person, I don't know!) I ask questions maybe how long was your last relationship to see if he had something meaningful at one time and just broke up because they were not compatible. In the beginning i also ask if they have kids and then from there is mainly getting to know them. Am i doing something wrong here? I also have read its a red flag if someone does not want to talk about the past....um how so what is there to say and like i said how much is too much?
Krytie TV Posted November 12, 2007 Posted November 12, 2007 If a guy is too interested in your past, and I'm assuming you are referring to romantic past, I think that's a bad sign. This points to someone who likely has jealousy issues. In my old age, I have had no interest in talking about a woman's past, and women haven't asked about mine. It's not really a topic to be breached early in the dating scenario, and you should never be asked about your "number" in my opinion... again, jealousy or insecurity. Obviously when I mention I'm divorced, that can sometimes lead to a quick, superficial discussion, but nothing beyond that. I also never talk about exes in the romantic sense if asked, just as a person. Bad news when you get drilled about past numbers, I guarantee it.
Elyssa Posted November 12, 2007 Posted November 12, 2007 I agree with you, Lucky555. Asking too much can cause jealousy and insecurity issues. They probably ask about who and what your previous boyfriends were like because they want to now how they compare. Many young males are insecure and ask these questions to placate their doubts, only to end up making it much worse when the responses aren't what they wanted. From my experience as a woman, this happens particularly when you are more experienced in the romance area than they are. From your list, I only see one question that I would probably ask myself: What was your longest relationship? The length of the relationships someone has had may be significative and hint to potential commitment issues. For example, someone who is in their late twenties and has had many relationships before but none lasted more than a couple of months, may be having trouble in that department. I can see how their current lover may be a little turned off by this information, thinking that their relationship might not last either. You might just have to exercise your right to privacy and decide what is within the limits of what is ok for them to know and what isn't. Either way, it's definitely not a first (or second!) date conversation. -E
Author Lucky555 Posted November 12, 2007 Author Posted November 12, 2007 Ok so once again great answers to my question. Gosh i luv this site for once i can get some guidance with all this relationship mumbo jumbo hahaha! I am going to use the info you two have provided me with my ongoing dating life THANKS A BUNCH!
Krytie TV Posted November 12, 2007 Posted November 12, 2007 Ok so once again great answers to my question. Gosh i luv this site for once i can get some guidance with all this relationship mumbo jumbo hahaha! I am going to use the info you two have provided me with my ongoing dating life THANKS A BUNCH! Oops. I take no responsibility for the outcome
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