blind_otter Posted November 12, 2007 Posted November 12, 2007 Here are some mine. She left her ex husband to go find herself Why is this a red flag?
Author Woggle Posted November 12, 2007 Author Posted November 12, 2007 Why is this a red flag? Because if she did it to him she will do it to you.
Lizzie60 Posted November 12, 2007 Posted November 12, 2007 I don't think the red flags are different for men or women. I would think the red flags are also different from one person to the next... I would say that the red flags are: immaturity ignorant in public (and proud to be) clingy, dependant no work ethic (or no work.. period) still lives with mom and dad
marrty24 Posted November 12, 2007 Posted November 12, 2007 100% agree with, do not date a woman who still lives with her mother.
Lizzie60 Posted November 12, 2007 Posted November 12, 2007 Because if she did it to him she will do it to you. So, in other words... you're saying.. once a cheater always a cheater...
Cobra_X30 Posted November 12, 2007 Posted November 12, 2007 So, in other words... you're saying.. once a cheater always a cheater... Isnt that how it works?
blind_otter Posted November 12, 2007 Posted November 12, 2007 Isnt that how it works? No, woggle originally said "if a woman left her exhusband to find herself".... I mean, what if you married young? I married when I was 21. I didn't know who the hell I was. I divorced my exhusband for many reasons but part of that was because I needed to be alone to figure out who I was. I don't think that just because I have an exhusband that means I can't be committed to someone else for the rest of my life.
sumdude Posted November 12, 2007 Posted November 12, 2007 No, woggle originally said "if a woman left her exhusband to find herself".... I mean, what if you married young? I married when I was 21. I didn't know who the hell I was. I divorced my exhusband for many reasons but part of that was because I needed to be alone to figure out who I was. I don't think that just because I have an exhusband that means I can't be committed to someone else for the rest of my life. You've left a marriage once already... Makes it easier to do it again because you have the experience. Times get tough, you get unhappy, you think "Hey I've been here before " and poof...
blind_otter Posted November 12, 2007 Posted November 12, 2007 You've left a marriage once already... Makes it easier to do it again because you have the experience. Times get tough, you get unhappy, you think "Hey I've been here before " and poof... :lmao: Yeah right. Like I ever want to go through that again in my entire existence. I'd rather just never marry again.
Art_Critic Posted November 12, 2007 Posted November 12, 2007 You've left a marriage once already... Makes it easier to do it again because you have the experience. Times get tough, you get unhappy, you think "Hey I've been here before " and poof... I don't agree with this.... I'm on my second marriage and I divorced my first wife and it would not be easier to leave my second marriage if things started to go wrong.. The fact that I went thru it the first time makes me somewhat more committed to making my second work because I went thru the first divorce.. Start looking at that glass as half full rather than half empty sumdude...
sumdude Posted November 12, 2007 Posted November 12, 2007 :lmao: Yeah right. Like I ever want to go through that again in my entire existence. I'd rather just never marry again. Neither would I ... and I was the one left which adds a whole 'nother level of ouch... I'm just now thinking of dating ... sometimes seems like going to the dentist. The end result is good but getting there ... Marriage again !!?? yikes she had better be the finest lady oin the planet.... with a written guarantee from the One in charge of the universe .. well maybe I'm picky ... very very picky now And what's wrong with having criteria? I would prefer she come from parents who stayed married.. mine did. You do learn the most from your family..
blind_otter Posted November 12, 2007 Posted November 12, 2007 I would prefer she come from parents who stayed married.. mine did. You do learn the most from your family.. So is this another red flag? IF her parents are divorced?
sumdude Posted November 12, 2007 Posted November 12, 2007 So is this another red flag? IF her parents are divorced? Not a flag but something to consider... Hey look, I'm divorced so that's already a flag for a lot of women...
Trialbyfire Posted November 12, 2007 Posted November 12, 2007 I don't think there are too many generic red flags. Individualize. What's acceptable for one person who is more tolerant, might be a 40 foot red flag for someone else. Doormat personalities are willing to accept emotional abuse and be happy, because they feel needed. Controlling personalities might need a doormat and if they find someone who can't be controlled, it's a 40 foot red flag for them. Learn who you are and what you need in a mate, so you can coexist in a meaningful relationship.
BeautifulMusic Posted November 12, 2007 Posted November 12, 2007 What's acceptable for one person who is more tolerant, might be a 40 foot red flag for someone else. Doormat personalities are willing to accept emotional abuse and be happy, because they feel needed. Controlling personalities might need a doormat and if they find someone who can't be controlled, it's a 40 foot red flag for them. Yeah, but is that healthy? I do think there are some things that are at least common flags for having a normal, healthy relationship. Whether someone's personality fits with yours is an individual matter, but that is a different issue.
Trialbyfire Posted November 12, 2007 Posted November 12, 2007 Yeah, but is that healthy? I do think there are some things that are at least common flags for having a normal, healthy relationship. Whether someone's personality fits with yours is an individual matter, but that is a different issue. In order for you to understand what's healthy, you will need to understand yourself. Most people fool themselves.
bish Posted November 12, 2007 Posted November 12, 2007 So, in other words... you're saying.. once a cheater always a cheater... You got it. Wise words to live by.
bish Posted November 12, 2007 Posted November 12, 2007 No, woggle originally said "if a woman left her exhusband to find herself".... I mean, what if you married young? I married when I was 21. I didn't know who the hell I was. I divorced my exhusband for many reasons but part of that was because I needed to be alone to figure out who I was. You mean because you wanted to sow your oats and party. I always love that "need to find who I am" line.
sumdude Posted November 12, 2007 Posted November 12, 2007 You mean because you wanted to sow your oats and party. I always love that "need to find who I am" line. other smash hits " I love you but am not IN love with you anymore. " " I just need some space. " " He/She's only a friend and I fell asleep on the sofa. " " It's just a trial separation. " " Since you think I might be sleeping with him then maybe I'll just go ahead and do it then. " " Oh... I shut that e-mail account off years ago, wonder how that happened? " " I have no idea how that number ended up on my cell phone. " " He's from work and I just can't stand him. " ..any more?
bigheartkindsoul Posted November 12, 2007 Posted November 12, 2007 other smash hits " I love you but am not IN love with you anymore. " " I just need some space. " " He/She's only a friend and I fell asleep on the sofa. " " It's just a trial separation. " " Since you think I might be sleeping with him then maybe I'll just go ahead and do it then. " " Oh... I shut that e-mail account off years ago, wonder how that happened? " " I have no idea how that number ended up on my cell phone. " " He's from work and I just can't stand him. " ..any more? Yeah above are classics men come out with more than ladies me thinks
sumdude Posted November 12, 2007 Posted November 12, 2007 Yeah above are classics men come out with more than ladies me thinks Nope... think it's about 50/50 I heard a few come from my ex... Spend enough time on the divorce board and it seems like more ladies are stepping out on thier marriages than men these days.
Saxis Posted November 12, 2007 Posted November 12, 2007 Here are some mine. She uses the word patriarchy She left her ex husband to go find herself She ever cheated on a man If she tries to cut you off from your friends and family If she tries to change you If she seems to be incapable of being content and enjoying peace Holy crap!! My X has done all of this except use the word patriarchy! Steer clear everyone!
blind_otter Posted November 12, 2007 Posted November 12, 2007 You mean because you wanted to sow your oats and party. I always love that "need to find who I am" line. Assume much? I divorced my exhusband because he was sent to federal prison.
Author Woggle Posted November 12, 2007 Author Posted November 12, 2007 If she just up and left a man that treated her well especially if there were kids involved it shows that she is ready to bail when a marriage doesn't fit the impossible fantasy she has in her head. She is ready to bail when the chemical high wears off and is incapable of growing it into a deeper more meaninful relationship. I am not aking any chances on commiting to a woman like this because it is too much of a risk.
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