ladykatie Posted November 11, 2007 Posted November 11, 2007 I am at a point where I don't know what I to do. My boyfriend of 5 years (we've been living together for 1 year) was acting strangely. So one day while he was in the shower, I checked his cell phone. I saw some flirty messages to a girl and confronted him. After fighting with him about for a few days and then digging deeper and I found out that he had gone over to her house after work "for some beers" and "just talking" (by after work, I mean at 2am, he is a bartender...) I knew something was weird between him and this girl, and although he keeps swearing there no physical contact, he violated my trust and it was so weird that the only way he would admit to anything was when I would show him the evidence (pictures of them together) for him to admit to anything. I still am not 100% that there was nothing physical. Finally, I asked him to move out. Instead, we decided to try to work on things, and I thought I would be able to do it. But it is so hard. So hard for me to forget. So hard for me to stop obsessing about everything that could have possibly happened between them. So hard for me to think that he won't do it again. I know I need to be a realistic and that he will never just "change." We've talked a lot and he is so upset about it too. He is angry at himself for messing up our relationship. I truly believe he is never speaking to this person again and wants us to be together. Wants us to build our relationship. I feel like I have two choices: 1. Choose to be with him and learn from what has happened. or 2. Start over without him. My mind keeps turning over and over with what I should do. One minute I decide I want to be with him and get overjoyed about what I can do better (I was not perfect in the relationship either). The next minute I think I should move out and start crying while searching for apartments. Up and down up and down, my brain hurts. I can't sleep, eat or do anything. The days feel so long. How do I move on? Should I move on with him or alone? I'd love to hear some objective thoughts...
FindingMyselfAgain Posted November 11, 2007 Posted November 11, 2007 My advice: Neither decision. Neither take him back, nor move on. Get quiet, get out of your head, meditate and listen for the voice of God. You will know it when you hear it. Follow whatever God tells you to do.
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