alexa137 Posted November 11, 2007 Posted November 11, 2007 why is it that men expect sex the first time you meet? i jsut started going out since break up with ex bf and it seems like 99 % of men want to gom home with you! for example i went to a bar/club fri night , they has salsa nnight met a guy, danced with him, talk a little bit, then we went outside he started kissing and feeling on me--had to tell him to chill out! then i gave him my number and he wanted to follow me or take me home! now you know what would happen then! thats why i stopped going out years ago because of this scenario i just got out of a 1 1/2 year relationship and i am so bored with my life i was so used to having a man everyday! now sex it the last thing on my mind! i just want someone to chill with--go out for dinner, movies etc where are those men at? if there is any! they must all be taken already! this is so frustrating and despressing!
compassion42 Posted November 11, 2007 Posted November 11, 2007 Just because they want sex on the first date doesn't mean they are going to get it! Tell them how you feel and if they can't respect your feelings...move on!
Enema Posted November 11, 2007 Posted November 11, 2007 It wasn't exactly a first date. She met him at a club/bar... so many one night stands happen there, it's up to her to make it clear. A date is different.
bigheartkindsoul Posted November 11, 2007 Posted November 11, 2007 although they'd like it, cause that is how they are built, most would rather wait and have to work a little for it. Right? well blokes if this is wrong you might wanna have a word with every book ever written on dating, understanding men blah blah blah.
Author alexa137 Posted November 11, 2007 Author Posted November 11, 2007 yea h my fault it wasnt a date-but ive had that experience too-it just seems like all men i met try or talk and show it in many ways and you all know damn well that if he would have came home with me he would have tried or raped me! i guess i feel like i will never meet someone that wants what i want! i will die alone! i am almost 40 and never been married! it sucks! if i dont get a man soon i will be a blimp and no one will want me ive gained 15 lbs since my break up and i still cant get over him!
Author alexa137 Posted November 11, 2007 Author Posted November 11, 2007 oh yeah and to add to that scenario--he called me after the club and tried to hook up and i told him no i am not like that! and he was saying all these things to me like i am pretty blah blah and his brother(which ive known for awhile just seeing him at clubs when i used to go out alot!) inivited me to a party next weekend so sat i texted him just hi whats going on etc...and nothing! part of me wants to text him again and say- oh so you wont talk to me anymore since you didnt get a piece of ass! huh?
Racquel Colette Posted November 11, 2007 Posted November 11, 2007 Yeah, that is how you weed out the good men from the bad ones. The ones who are going for sex on the first dates are not the quality men.
Author alexa137 Posted November 11, 2007 Author Posted November 11, 2007 so i guess thats 95% of men then-bcause i havent ever meet one in 20 years that wanted other things besides sex!
bigheartkindsoul Posted November 11, 2007 Posted November 11, 2007 They all want it, thats how they are built and made up, but make em wait and if they are any good they will stick around.
Enema Posted November 11, 2007 Posted November 11, 2007 A lot of guys see sex as the prize at the end of the race. Men like to win races, so that's what they're aiming for! If you're sick of men only interested in you for sex, stop picking up at clubs and pubs and go out for real dates.
Author alexa137 Posted November 11, 2007 Author Posted November 11, 2007 i am a single mother with 2 jobs and dont have time to go anywhere and looking online is too time consuming this is the first time i have gone out in years i never really went out and looked but i went single and alone for 6 years and that is getting so boring!
bigheartkindsoul Posted November 11, 2007 Posted November 11, 2007 So where do you meet the men you date? Join online, it really doesn't take long and wait for someguys to contact you.
sumdude Posted November 12, 2007 Posted November 12, 2007 Ok ... we're wired for sex .. don't ask why but that's the truth. It's a known fact that healthy men think about sex at least once an hour.. The real men know to control those instinctual urges.. and respect a woman as a human being too. I'm a little uncomfortable with casual sex ... not that I would necessarily refuse it 'cause i am am an old school horn dog but really it's much better when you really know and care for the person you are with.
JosieMcCoy Posted November 12, 2007 Posted November 12, 2007 Nope! I don't do sex on the first date! Sorry!
Lizzie60 Posted November 12, 2007 Posted November 12, 2007 I don't mind sex on the first date... If I feel like it.. why not...
Racquel Colette Posted November 12, 2007 Posted November 12, 2007 OP, are you sure that this isn't just a post which is you venting because very few women find you attractive?
Philbert Posted November 12, 2007 Posted November 12, 2007 Maybe I'm old fashioned, but I'm happy to get a kiss at the end of a first date.
Krytie TV Posted November 12, 2007 Posted November 12, 2007 oh yeah and to add to that scenario--he called me after the club and tried to hook up and i told him no i am not like that! and he was saying all these things to me like i am pretty blah blah and his brother(which ive known for awhile just seeing him at clubs when i used to go out alot!) inivited me to a party next weekend so sat i texted him just hi whats going on etc...and nothing! part of me wants to text him again and say- oh so you wont talk to me anymore since you didnt get a piece of ass! huh? I bet you "hook up" with him within 3 weeks. Just a guess.
acrosstheroom Posted November 12, 2007 Posted November 12, 2007 why is it that men expect sex the first time you meet? i jsut started going out since break up with ex bf and it seems like 99 % of men want to gom home with you! for example i went to a bar/club fri night , they has salsa nnight met a guy, danced with him, talk a little bit, then we went outside he started kissing and feeling on me--had to tell him to chill out! then i gave him my number and he wanted to follow me or take me home! now you know what would happen then! thats why i stopped going out years ago because of this scenario i just got out of a 1 1/2 year relationship and i am so bored with my life i was so used to having a man everyday! now sex it the last thing on my mind! i just want someone to chill with--go out for dinner, movies etc where are those men at? if there is any! they must all be taken already! this is so frustrating and despressing! Sorry if I jump around a bit in this reply. I personally don't want sex on the first, second, usually third date is when I feel comfortable. By no means am I prude, or unexperienced, but when I want to date someone, I do my best to get to know them somewhat before engaging in sex with them. I have had sex on the 1st date a few times, haven't regretted it, it just lead down that path the 1st night. It seems to me that the sex with someone who I have went out with a few times is much more enjoyable, somewhat more passionate, and over all more pleasing. The above scenario you described was not a first date, may have been the first time you met him, but by no means was it a date. The scenario you described is completely different then a first date. You were at a bar/club where men usually go there to find someone to sleep with or just have a good time. I know not all men go there to get laid, but most do. It's a given though, if you look at the surrounding and atmosphere is very apparent. People get dressed up, most women wear sexy clothing which usually shows off a lot of skin, people are dancing, usually very close, touching each other, sometimes almost simulating sex. So when a man meets a girl/woman at a club or bar, they most likely think you are there to meet someone to go home with, unless you out with your girls just to have a good time. Which should be apparent to most half way intelligent men. I have went home with plenty of girls the first time I met them, usually at the club. I don't go to bar's too often. I talk to I think 2 out of the XX number of girls that I went home with. Never seems to last or transpire to anything. I don't sleep with girls the first time I meet them anymore, just decided my life is better not sleeping with someone I just met at the club. Guys are just wired to want and think about sex. I think about it probably 1-2 hours a day, sometimes more, sometimes less. Some guys can keep it in their pants, or hands off of a girl the 1st time they meet or the first time they go out on a date. Every guy is somewhat different, though, very similar. I guess to recap, you meet a guy at the bar/club, they most likely are thinking about how they can take you home. You meet a guy and the gym, store, park, work, through a friend, they most likely aren't running through every possible way to take you home that night.
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