innatecharm Posted November 11, 2007 Posted November 11, 2007 i guess i'm getting in touch w/my feminine side! anyway, i found this site looking for answers. 2 kids, haven't cheated, but told wife wanted to end it. she hasnt worked for 15 yrs (oldest kid born) and doesn't want me to leave till kids are gone. no sex life for 2 years. both of us stubborn. i travel, she has NEVER gotten up to see me off on a trip, or welcomed me home. NEVER told me she missed me all day and wanted me. only how her head hurts, sinus bothers her, whatever. so, what to do? she even told me she doesn't care if i date!!! financially ok but not wealthy, if we split i'm sure the kids will stay with her and downgrade substantially. cheat? i've considered it would be purely physical because the type of woman i like wouldn't cheat with me. in the meantime, i really think its killing me. i know the answer to leave or stay, but what would make a woman act like this? knowing all this she took off this weekend to party with friends... so, before condemning all married men consider some may just be desparately seeking something besides just sex.
KATANYA Posted November 11, 2007 Posted November 11, 2007 Any chance she is cheating? You are away, she's not interested in sex, she is 'sick' when you're home but can be out partying with friends and be ok, dooesn't mind if you 'date'..........just wondering, do you think she has someone else?
GreenEyedLady Posted November 11, 2007 Posted November 11, 2007 I agree with the above poster...It sounds fishy to me... And it's not unbelievable that there's no sex after M...I'm sure many men cheat for lack of sex, intimacy etc...
brothermartin Posted November 11, 2007 Posted November 11, 2007 Sorry, man. I have to agree with the last two post. It dose sound like she may have already left you, even though she's still there. If I were you, I would start preparing for divorce on the low. But dont go giving yourself to anyone else right now. That could give her ammunition against you in case she changes her tune. Again, Im really sorry for what you're going through. I know how it feels to have someone you really care about just cut themselves off from you. Hurts like hell.
minerva63 Posted November 11, 2007 Posted November 11, 2007 i've considered it would be purely physical because the type of woman i like wouldn't cheat with me. Whatever you do, PLEASE don't pretend to be single in an effort to have a physical/emotional relationship. Speaking as one who bought the single lie, it's just cruel when it comes to light. And it usually does.
bestadvisor Posted November 11, 2007 Posted November 11, 2007 innatecharm, I think she's cheating on you. One of the biggest sign is she allows you to date. This is clearly due to guilty of what she has already done. No wife, whether they still love their husbands or not, would allow their husbands to date. Other signs include no interest in you in 2 years and "partying". Grown ups usually don't go to parties just to listen to music. Hire a private investigator, you will see the truth.
OpenBook Posted November 11, 2007 Posted November 11, 2007 i guess i'm getting in touch w/my feminine side! And right off the bat, you're insulting all the men (the straight ones, anyway!) here on LS. Like you're saying that posting on a public forum is a feminine activity?? Is this living up to your screen name?? 2 kids, haven't cheated, but told wife wanted to end it ... what would make a woman act like this? knowing all this she took off this weekend to party with friends... Uh, if you can't see the answer to that, then you have more problems than you think. in the meantime, i really think its killing me. What's killing you? Not having sex? Why are you staying in the M? because your W wants it that way? You're letting her call all the shots, and you're miserable? I don't get it. so, before condemning all married men consider some may just be desparately seeking something besides just sex. Like what? What are you so desperately seeking?
whichwayisup Posted November 11, 2007 Posted November 11, 2007 Did you two ever really talk about everything in detail? I mean, sit down and stay up all night and completely lay it all out on the line? Did you two ever go to marriage counselling? Obviously you two at some point loved eachother enough to get married and have children. You worked, and provided for the family, she stayed home and raised the kids, made a home. Abit old fashioned, but hey, it was working. So, 2 years, no sex. How were things before that? When did you notice the changes, less sex, less attention, less focus on you? And during that time, did you ever try to please her, meet her needs? This could be a case of both of you not pleasing eachother, shutting down and turning off. You away with work alot and her with the kids, feeling neglected...You're both stubborn so chances are, neither of you were going to make the first move, so instead EGO got in the way and now fast forward 2 years later, you want to leave and she could have someone else on the side. Do you love her? Is she worth fighting for? The marriage, kids, house, the history - Do you want to give all that up because you're too stubborn to be the bigger person here and try to fix it? Or, do you just want out?
PoshPrincess Posted November 11, 2007 Posted November 11, 2007 Any chance she is cheating? You are away, she's not interested in sex, she is 'sick' when you're home but can be out partying with friends and be ok, dooesn't mind if you 'date'..........just wondering, do you think she has someone else? Either that or she's looking for the green light to do so because she is also unhappy. InnateCharm, what can I say? Don't even think about getting yourself 'a bit on the side'. It will cause to much heartbreak for all concerned. I just think you need to get out of this marriage as neither of you appear to be happy. You both deserve happiness and if you're not getting that together then you need to be free to find that either with someone else, or on your own, whatever it may be. Don't worry about the affect it will have on your kids, they're resillient. Yes, they will more than likely be uspset but they will get over it. I daresay they pick up on the atmosphere anyway which can't be good for them. Very soon they will have their own lives to lead and then you and your W will be left in the house on your own wondering why life has passed you both by!
frannie Posted November 16, 2007 Posted November 16, 2007 she even told me she doesn't care if i date!!! cheat? i've considered it would be purely physical because the type of woman i like wouldn't cheat with me. so, before condemning all married men consider some may just be desparately seeking something besides just sex. If she's said she doesn't care if you date, then why do you care? Also, your other two statements seem to be contradictory. If you would only be looking for 'purely physical' contact with an OW, what is this 'something besides sex' you mention in your last sentence? Sounds like you can't quite bring yourself to do what your W doesn't care if you do. I'm not surprised really, given that you sound like you would denegrate any woman willing to engage you. Is this really the impression you meant to give..? Or am I misreading something..?
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