maynicholas Posted November 11, 2007 Posted November 11, 2007 So my LTR ended in July when I packed my bags, moved to another state, changed careers, and went back to school. I am finally settled into the routine of my new life and have sort of started dating again. It has been sooo long since I went through this (11 years) that I can't remember how things progress. My BFFs husband's BFF and I have know each other for a while and recently started getting together once a week on our own (as opposed to the usual social setting at our friend's house). I am so busy with work and school and he is very busy with his career as well- so our time together is limited. When we get together he usually spends the night, but there is no sex- just cuddling and a good bit of kissing. We write back and forth most days online. What is this? I am trying to take my time and enjoy whatever is going on here, but at the same time in the back of my head I keep thinking- I will not waste my time again on someone who will keep me waiting for 11 years (yes, I know I could have left at any time- but I didn't have my head on straight). I just don't know how to tell if someone will be future potential. I know it is way too soon to start thinking about this with him- it's just a general thought- non-specific to him directly. So how do these things generally progress? I don't want to bail too soon and miss out on something good- but I don't want to stick around if it isn't going to go anywhere either.
LovesDog Posted November 11, 2007 Posted November 11, 2007 oooh, i love this one. i was in a go nowhere 6 yr relationship until last april. i finally left because i knew this was not the guy i wanted to marry. now i am recently dating and trying to go with it. it is really hard to not ask for an answer right away. we would all love to know where things are going. but give it time. it seems that things are going really well for you and your new beau. if after 3 months something hasn't progressed in the discussion part of your relationship, then bring it up. do you have a good feeling about this guy? does he make your heart pitter-patter? go with it!
compassion42 Posted November 11, 2007 Posted November 11, 2007 I can relate to this too. Like you, I tend to be a relationship type person and now that I am "causally dating" I find myself asking the same questions as you are. My advice would be to just go with the flow,date other people if the opportunity arises and take your time. It sounds like you both are pretty content with the way things are right now so no need to rock the boat. I just wouldn't assume that the two of you are exclusive unless you have that talk. And until then-keep your options open but also just enjoy it for what it is.
Author maynicholas Posted November 12, 2007 Author Posted November 12, 2007 I'm finding it so weird and difficult in the transition from no boundries in the LTR to this whole new thing and having boundries again. I mean how much physical affection should you show- or expect to be shown? We don't show any untill we go to bed at night then it's cuddle/ make out central and it carries over till the morning when he leaves. He askes me when he can see me again before we are even out of bed in the morning. He tells me he has been fantasizing about kissing me since we met several months ago. But then the next time we see each other it's like we start over again (we only get to see each other once a week- I'm a very busy girl- 19 credits hours and 35 hours a week on the job). I get all nervous and avoid his glances. It is just so weird. We talk, we flirt, we joke, we have fun hanging out. I just wish there were a rule book. I know I'm too anxious about all this- and I have fun when I'm with him- but the whole situation is hard to read for me. This is the first time I've dated since my break up and I know that has a lot to do with it.
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