jlee Posted November 11, 2007 Posted November 11, 2007 Theres this girl i've been seeing for 6 months, but after 3 months months of dating, she told me let's just be friends. For as long as I known her, I didn't even slept with her. I agree to it but I can tell she still like me. I'm not sure if she thought I had a hidden agenda or something. She does know I that I really like her and care about her. I honestly do care about this girl. She said friends shouldn't be touching or kissing. So I didn't try touching or kissing her at all. Althought I can still feel sparks of attractions. I ended up moving out to my own place from my parents, so I had her over to help me set up my place. We ended up making out on my bed. She made an excuse everytime to come over and hang out. Everytime we hang out, we would end up making out on my bed or sofa. This goes on for a period of two months. She just comes over to hang out and we just make out. Just this week though, that all changed. Maybe I got too comfortable with her and let my guard down. She knows a lot about me. She sees me a lot on AIM instant message. She started acting weird on me... She came over one night and we were just hanging out but she was really cold to me that night. I always hug from behind but she wouldn't let me this time. I tried kissing her and she wouldn't let me touch her. It felt like a big shield in front of me. She was in a hurry to leave, so I tried kissing her goodbye and she turn her head on me... I called her about it and asked her "what's this weird vibe i'm feeling between me and you. Is there something wrong? Are you unhappy about something?" I wanted to know the truth. She told me nothing was wrong. So I said "am I imagining these things?" She said "I might've." So I asked her the same thing again, and she finally said to me.. We're friends, I don't want to kiss, touch or make out with you. I like hanging out with you though... I had no reply. I was just kinda caught off guard.. I thought to myself doesn't it take two to tango? So she said she had to go and hung up. I haven't heard from her since and I think shes avoiding me. I'm not sure what to do now. I wonder if she's sleeping with someone else or if she found someone better, the thought cross my mind... Should I just ask her if she found someone else...Maybe she's feeling guilty about something... I thought I was making progress and I was going to confess to her soon and ask her if she wanted to see me exclusively because it's been 6 months. Maybe I was naive in thinking that. Should I call her up and ask if she's avoiding me? Should I just be friends with her then and hope she comes around one day... Do I just call her and say hey let's just be friends then... or do I call her up and tell her that I don't ever want to see her again.. What should I ask her... I need advice. I'm very confuse about her actions and i'm definitely not imagining it.. Should I tell her what I'm feeling in person or on the phone to avoid confrontation...
in love and confused Posted November 11, 2007 Posted November 11, 2007 stop acting so desperate, your not!! leave her alone for a while. I wouldn't call or bother her in any way shape or form!!! If she likes you as a friend or more she'll call. I know that the one thing I can't stand is a guy that tries too hard, I love a guy thats hard to get:cool:
kypepeo Posted November 11, 2007 Posted November 11, 2007 She doesn't seem to want a relationship although she doesn't mind the making out stuff. I think what she wants is the friends with benefits thing so she pulls back when things get heavier than that emotionally
Mezzi Posted November 11, 2007 Posted November 11, 2007 I think her something about you suddenly irked her and maybe if you analyzed some of your actions recently you would find out what it is. I also think that you should talk to her and express your feelings and ask her point blank why she suddenly just wants to be friends. She still likes you but something about you is making her uneasy and it seems her head is telling her to stay away but her heart is/was telling her to stay. So just talk and get it out of her.
jcster Posted November 11, 2007 Posted November 11, 2007 This woman has set all of the rules in your relationship, and you have followed them faithfully, no matter how they made you feel. That's not healthy, and it's likely that she's using you for attention when she needs it and ignoring you when she doesn't. You need to stop doing anything this woman asks you to do.
LovesDog Posted November 11, 2007 Posted November 11, 2007 i agree w/ jcster. she is using you for positive attention when she needs it. she is likely into someone else. sorry cause that totally sux. i would start dating elsewhere; YOU DESERVE SO MUCH BETTER! in my youth, i have been guilty of the same things she's doing. i'm thinking she is young and shopping the market.
Author jlee Posted November 11, 2007 Author Posted November 11, 2007 She text me last night and ask if I was doing anything. I said I wasn't and she ask if I wanted to go to the movies with her because she had two free tickets. So I told her yea I'll go. To make it worse it was love seats, I had to mentally resist myself. The vibe was differently weird. I didn't even attempt to touch her at all. I wasn't sure if she was avoiding my contact either. Maybe I should've talk to her about the situation but I didn't... I gave her a hug good bye and a kiss on the side of her cheek. Sigh...
jcster Posted November 11, 2007 Posted November 11, 2007 She text me last night and ask if I was doing anything. I said I wasn't and she ask if I wanted to go to the movies with her because she had two free tickets. So I told her yea I'll go. To make it worse it was love seats, I had to mentally resist myself. The vibe was differently weird. The correct answer to "are you doing anything tonight" is: "Sorry, I'm busy." You don't need to go into any details. Just...sorry, can't. You need to ask yourself 2 questions: Why don't you have anything to do (why are you relying on this girl to entertain you)? and Is the pain of seeing this girl worse than the pain of not seeing her? You need to be honest with yourself on this last one. You could be out with someone who really likes you and wants you to be happy - instead, you are sitting around waiting for this chick to call you and then spending the night wondering what's going on. Get out and move on!
Mezzi Posted November 12, 2007 Posted November 12, 2007 I dont necessarily think the right approach is to forget this girl. As I said previously she may be acting indifferent for a very good reason. jlee should just muster up some courage and firmly ask her what is the problem.
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