isntitironic Posted November 10, 2007 Posted November 10, 2007 When I start having sex with somebody is it none of my business what they do with other people sexually?
in love and confused Posted November 10, 2007 Posted November 10, 2007 Are you dating this person or friends with benefits?
Author isntitironic Posted November 10, 2007 Author Posted November 10, 2007 OK good question I guess what i'm saying is, your seeing somebody for a few weeks you start to have saex for a bout a week. Your not sure whether its to early to have a talk about exclusivity. So I guess what your seeing is they are free to have sex with other people to at this point and I should be cool about it?
LovesDog Posted November 10, 2007 Posted November 10, 2007 hmm...i am in the same boat. i've been seeing this guy for a little over 2 weeks (about 9 times) and have had sex with him a few times (which is incredibly good). initially he said he did not want to be exclusive, but said if things sparked up with one girl then he would call it off with the others he is dating. right now, i have no idea where i stand. i just know that i told him that i would only sleep with someone if we were monogamous. i think we have this agreement. but i can't be sure that he is not seeing other women. i suppose that i can't expect that he isn't and have to accept that. though i have it bad for this guy and would like to be the only one in his pants! we see each other probably 2-4 times a week. i know he is into me, but he keeps really busy with friends, the gym, etc. sorry, i didn't mean to turn this into my thread! i just mean that you can't expect the other person to NOT be sleeping around unless you have an agreement. And, YES it is your business as to who the other person is sleeping with. If anything, for safety's sake! I don't think it is ok to be jealous, but everyone is different with their feelings. I really try not to be jealous, because it is such a turn off for men.
in love and confused Posted November 11, 2007 Posted November 11, 2007 I think you need to ask yourself and her if what kind of relationship is expected. I would and could never be with someone that was messing around with other people. STD's!!! I don't think its ever too early to talk to someone about their sex life especially when it concerns you.
melodymatters Posted November 11, 2007 Posted November 11, 2007 This one seems simple to me : don't start having sex with somone until you have had the exclusivity talk. I know this might not be cool and au currant these days, but F*ck it, we are talking about your emotional and physical health. besides, playing a little hard to get by showing you value yourself, never backfires unless the guy is not really looking for a "good" woman anyway !
Lauriebell82 Posted November 11, 2007 Posted November 11, 2007 I agree with Melody on this one: you shouldn't have sex with someone until you ARE exclusive. That being said I think you need to have a talk with this guy. I would be uncomfortable having sex with somoene who is having sex with other people. If this is the case, you need to stop having sex with him until you are exclusive. If he is not ready to be exclusive then tell him you'd like to slow things down then and just date until you get to know each other better.
crazy_grl Posted November 11, 2007 Posted November 11, 2007 I think you have a right to know whether he's sleeping with other women. You don't have a right to be upset about it though. Both of you are free to do whatever you want. I would want to know, because if a guy was sleeping with other girls at the same time he was with me, I wouldn't want him as a boyfriend. If a guy wants to have sex with other women, he will whether you have an "exclusivity talk" or not. If he wants to be with only you, he will be without needing a verbal agreement. So yeah, you should find out if he's sleeping with other women, and if he is, immediately discard any thoughts of him as boyfriend material. He's only booty call quality.
Racquel Colette Posted November 11, 2007 Posted November 11, 2007 hmm...i am in the same boat. i've been seeing this guy for a little over 2 weeks (about 9 times) and have had sex with him a few times (which is incredibly good). initially he said he did not want to be exclusive, but said if things sparked up with one girl then he would call it off with the others he is dating. right now, i have no idea where i stand. i just know that i told him that i would only sleep with someone if we were monogamous. i think we have this agreement. but i can't be sure that he is not seeing other women. i suppose that i can't expect that he isn't and have to accept that. though i have it bad for this guy and would like to be the only one in his pants! we see each other probably 2-4 times a week. i know he is into me, but he keeps really busy with friends, the gym, etc. sorry, i didn't mean to turn this into my thread! i just mean that you can't expect the other person to NOT be sleeping around unless you have an agreement. And, YES it is your business as to who the other person is sleeping with. If anything, for safety's sake! I don't think it is ok to be jealous, but everyone is different with their feelings. I really try not to be jealous, because it is such a turn off for men. Hate to tell you this, but he is actually just NOT that into you. GET THE BOOK!
Racquel Colette Posted November 11, 2007 Posted November 11, 2007 To answer the above poster's question....a guy should make you feel absolutely secure and wanted for REAL before you sleep with him. You should ALREADY be dating exclusively. If you are with a man who were really into you, you wouldn't have the insecurities you have now. Next time, wait to sleep with the guy and only sleep with a guy who you know is REALLY into YOU! Ladies, don't just jump to drop your panties because you think you have to to keep the man's interest.
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