confused_76 Posted November 10, 2007 Posted November 10, 2007 Help ! I'm very confused, I'm a 31 year old guy who is really likes this girl but needs to know if she like me Ok So I have been working with this girl for around 2 years and we have become very close throughout this time, we always talk about stuff and generally get on. She sends me texts almost every other nights and she makes excuses to have lunch with me. She normally has lunch with her friends but will lie to them so she can have it with me, but she says to me that its because they have lunch to early. The things is she is around 10 years younger then me and I am seperated so why would she be interested I'm abit worried about asking her on a date because we work together and I don't want to lose her as a friend. I mean she's sending me all kinds of mixed signals but are they the right ones
The Loacker Posted November 10, 2007 Posted November 10, 2007 If you've known her for 2 years and haven't made a move on her yet, I'd say you're probably in the friendzone. Let me ask you this: what kinds of signals is she sending you? Touching, flirty eye contact? What do you talk about in your texts? I need more info before I can tell you whether or not she might be interested in you.
Lucky555 Posted November 10, 2007 Posted November 10, 2007 OK i am 22 and here is what I think...just giving my age because I worked with a guy that was 30 and I was extremely attracted to him and we dated. Here is what went through my mind and it may help: Well the guy that i dated, i didnt know that he was 30 i thought he was 25 but then i went with it. He was attractive, we liked eachother, he treated me good, the thing is i found out he drank a lot and was not going anywhere with his life and thats why things ended, but before i initially dated him because he was very attractive, was nice to me, was older than me, and he was mature. I think if he had not been drinking so much and he wanted more out of life i would have stayed with him. So this girl must like you to be wanting to spend time with you. Does she flirt with you a lot? Does she touch your arm? Are u her supervisor? kind of difficult if u are or she is. Do u think you could see yourself with her? if you have a great friendship then thats great however do u want something more with her or only see her as that?
Trialbyfire Posted November 10, 2007 Posted November 10, 2007 My apologies to the younger set who are unusually interesting but what can a 21 year old girl offer in the way of friendship to a 31 year old man? Since you've known her for two years, what did she offer when she was 19? I don't get it.
Author confused_76 Posted November 10, 2007 Author Posted November 10, 2007 She does flirt with me but doesn't touch but I think thats cause she is shy, she is the one that normally iniates the texting by asking about how my day was and what I was up2. The thing is she is not my supervisor and neither am I hers, alot of people have commented on us at work but she never denies it, people say that we like each other and spend alot of time together. A week ago I mentioned that I was gonna go bowling with friends and asked her if she has ever been, I'm sure she mumbled "no but we can go if you want" but then just turned back to her computer screen. We sit on different desks but she will make an excuse to come and c me at least 2 or 3 times a day, she'll email me to ask how I am and that kind of stuff. Neither of us drink and she has never mentioned any of her previous BF to me. She always talk to her freinds about them but never me. I just need a bit of advice on how I should approach this as I want to know for sure and don't want the oppertunity to pass me by.
Lucky555 Posted November 10, 2007 Posted November 10, 2007 So be cool and casual to find out for sure. Ask her what she thinks about age differences between people? See what she says, then if she doesn't mind age differences..wait a bit then say, " have you ever been to such and such"...like the bowling place, you should ask her if she wanted to go. Just keep it really casual to see if shes interested or not. I think for the first outing you should keep away from the movies and dinner because if she isn't feeling the same, then it would be a bummer of a date. Oh btw find out if she is in a relationship already or not. Now i can say this from my experience, when i dated the guy that was 30 ...we didn't have anything in common except that we were attracted to each other. lol He used to mention his favorite bands and i felt bad because i never heard of them or they just were not in my era. So there will be some conflicting things i suppose. BUT there are some great relationships when there is age differences that have lasted a long time. So you never know till you try!
Author confused_76 Posted November 10, 2007 Author Posted November 10, 2007 I think I'll do what you have mentioned on Monday and see where it takes us, there's sometimes when I thik yes she does like me and then others when I think she can't be interested. We have had a age difference conversation and she said that there's always going to be an age difference. I think I also need some tips on flirting when texting becuase we spend a lot of the time texting and she seems to like this aswell, it's less pressure. Any ideas on how I can find out if she likes me whilst texting
BeautifulMusic Posted November 10, 2007 Posted November 10, 2007 I think I'll do what you have mentioned on Monday and see where it takes us, there's sometimes when I thik yes she does like me and then others when I think she can't be interested. We have had a age difference conversation and she said that there's always going to be an age difference. I think I also need some tips on flirting when texting becuase we spend a lot of the time texting and she seems to like this aswell, it's less pressure. Any ideas on how I can find out if she likes me whilst texting Haha, the guy I like mainly texts with me and this is hard, too! I haven't figured this one out yet, I just try to talk to him on the phone or in person as much as possible instead of relying on the texts. But if anyone has suggestions I'd love to hear them!
Lucky555 Posted November 10, 2007 Posted November 10, 2007 flirty texting! haha. Here is what not to do first!!!! Do not come on too strong and as u mentioned she is shy. The guy i had dated after our first date texted me saying "your so beautiful, i love hanging out with you ect" that kind of startled me because I didn't know the guy and we just had went on one date. How are you? (every girl likes to be asked how they are it means you CARE) I am not sure what type of girl she is but if u see she changes shoes and has style you can say, "i liked those shoes you had today" (it shows you noticed what she was wearing and you payed attention) Don't tell her you liked her jeans or her top. You can say that as the relationship develops. Are you missing me already? what are you doing? (conversation initiation) Make a joke about work or something you two would find funny (laughing is so great!) Would you like me to help you with that? Its a bit difficult to develop some flirty text messages because its more of a go with the flow kind of thing. I'm happy that your happy. (awe so sweet!) Oh by the way after going out with her check to see if she got home ok (make it at night to indicate your interested but keeping it causal) After going out with her don't go for a kiss, if your close: a hug..but if SHE goes in for a kiss DO kiss back. Don't freak out lol please stay calm sometimes some guys just get too worked up about their dates this is what you want to do "Cool, Calm, and Collected." Oh of course looking really good really helps
Author confused_76 Posted November 11, 2007 Author Posted November 11, 2007 Thanks for the advice, I'm always asking how her day went or hows she been. Ok so she'll prubably text me tonite, so how would i ask her about the bowling situation as you mentioned earlier. What I don't want is me asking her and her saying no because it'll be just akward at work tomorrow. I need a way of asking her but falling back onto something if she says no. How would I approach the subject
Lucky555 Posted November 11, 2007 Posted November 11, 2007 Ask her about bowling say this: I know that you have mentioned you never have been to this "title of the place" would you like to go sometime. This is just saying if you want to hang out with me you are invited. Then if she says she has something planned, say "well just let me know if you ever want to." This way your safe and you can face her at work and know that you have have initiated and if she wants to fine and if not then its just a good friendship. Also, it allows for her to make up her mind and she may ask to make it for another time or specific day that she has free depending upon her schedule. So i hope this helps GOOD LUCK!
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