uniqueone Posted November 10, 2007 Posted November 10, 2007 Is it easier for men to date than it is for women? It seems like men are less picky...at least some of the men that I know. Their requirements for a woman.....thin, attractive and nice. That's it. My requirements for a guy? Pfffft! Let's add intelligence to that (high, preferably), educated, professional, similar sense of humor, no young kids, etc..... But my male friend: Thin, attractive and nice. That's it. (Then again, he's divorced so maybe he doesn't exactly pick well) But another thing is....men get to pick. Now I know some men will argue that women do the picking but let me explain. Women do the picking from the group of men that pursue them. Keep in mind though, this doesn't mean that they have winners pursuing them. Oftentimes women get to pick from a group of losers. Is that really "picking"? My male friend does the personals. When I was considering signing back up, he told me to go through and see if there were any that looked good to me. I told him that wouldn't matter. Even if I saw some that looked good on the site, it doesn't mean that they'd contact me. And, as I've explained before on here, I won't contact them. I've done that and it doesn't work. It truely does not work when women initiate it, therefore I no longer will. Then, once in a relationship, men require so little. Women want emotional intimacy and discussion. Guys less so. So this is what prompted me to post this and once again, I'm submitting this before I lose another post.........
squeak Posted November 10, 2007 Posted November 10, 2007 Hmm, interesting point. I recall some blog where a guy was saying the personals were men's revenge against women. His theory was if you had that one guy who fit the generic qualifications that-let's face it-EVERY woman wants- the man would have soooo many more women to choose from that would fit his criteria, especially if he was relationship oriented. So-to break it down further-you have incredibly choosy females who want the needle in the haystack guy. Because, let's face it, the odds are against that combination also being single. So you get this one in a hundred tall, educated, fit, attractive, nice guy-and his criteria: cute and nice. Now he has every ethnicity, height, age and job description range to pick from. The solution? "Limiting" the births of female babies to forcibly up the male population? Terrible, I know. But true. Alternate solution: women only require "cute and nice" and get rid of the laundry list. Not going to happen though, realistically.
Blue Eyed Brain Posted November 10, 2007 Posted November 10, 2007 There's more women than men. Men will accept women up to 20 years younger than them. Men are usually not as choosy as women. The odds are stacked against us, yet we are by far the most content, peaceful and satisfied of the sexes..... the math adds up....
squeak Posted November 10, 2007 Posted November 10, 2007 But another thing is....men get to pick. Now I know some men will argue that women do the picking but let me explain. Women do the picking from the group of men that pursue them. Keep in mind though, this doesn't mean that they have winners pursuing them. Oftentimes women get to pick from a group of losers. But-the women DO pick the men in the sense that they send the first come hither stare, and then the guy will come over. Or the girl will figure out the guys schedule and casually drop by to see him......or *accidentally* run into him-again, and again, until the guy thinks "hmmm, I think I'll ask her out" So I may have to disagree. What you stated only applies if the woman makes no effort to send out any signals whatsoever, and just passively receives.
squeak Posted November 10, 2007 Posted November 10, 2007 yet we are by far the most content, peaceful and satisfied of the sexes..... the math adds up.... Are you being sarcastic? I ask because I really don't see that-you really think so? Most women I know are pretty dissatisfied and unhappy, much more so than men.
Trialbyfire Posted November 10, 2007 Posted November 10, 2007 The longer the list of requirements, the smaller the dating pool. It only stands to reason. I don't think this is a gender issue.
Author uniqueone Posted November 10, 2007 Author Posted November 10, 2007 But-the women DO pick the men in the sense that they send the first come hither stare, and then the guy will come over. Or the girl will figure out the guys schedule and casually drop by to see him......or *accidentally* run into him-again, and again, until the guy thinks "hmmm, I think I'll ask her out" So I may have to disagree. What you stated only applies if the woman makes no effort to send out any signals whatsoever, and just passively receives. I disagree with your disagree...... A woman can stare all she wants at a guy but if he's not interested, he's not going to come over and talk to her. There are plenty of plain Jane's at a bar giving the eye to the cute guy on the other side and he's looking at his watch acting like he doesn't see them. Then let's say there's pudgy little Patsy who has a crush on the cute mechanic at the shop down the street. She happens to keep breaking her car so she can go in there during his shift. He can tell she's interested in him and smiles and acts polite and his buddies give him trouble over it. But he's not interested Patsy. He's interested in the tall, sexy blonde that just pulled up in the red convertable. I've known guys who've had pudgy patsy's and plain jane's showing interest in them and I know what these guys told me about them. Those women gave out signals loud and clear and the guys knew it.
Sean0775 Posted November 10, 2007 Posted November 10, 2007 I'd say it's just as hard for everyone no matter what gender they are. From my point of view, it's damn near impossible for me to find someone in my age group that doesn't like going out to the bars all the time, and if they don't, 9 times out of 10 they have kids or are Jesus Freaks. In the end I run into a whole lot of, "I'm not your average girl", "Looking for someone nice", and everything of the like...yet the people with those headlines are just like everyone else and only looking for their next bar-monkey. Blah, blah, and blah again.
Trialbyfire Posted November 10, 2007 Posted November 10, 2007 only looking for their next bar-monkey Barflies need bar-monkeys...
Author uniqueone Posted November 10, 2007 Author Posted November 10, 2007 I'd say it's just as hard for everyone no matter what gender they are. From my point of view, it's damn near impossible for me to find someone in my age group that doesn't like going out to the bars all the time, and if they don't, 9 times out of 10 they have kids or are Jesus Freaks. In the end I run into a whole lot of, "I'm not your average girl", "Looking for someone nice", and everything of the like...yet the people with those headlines are just like everyone else and only looking for their next bar-monkey. Blah, blah, and blah again. You know Sean, come to think of it, I have met or talked to men that were pretty picky and it sounds like you're one of them too, so maybe it's just a pickiness issue. Which leads to the question....why are so many men not very picky? I read that the reason that women file for divorce more than men is because women want more out of a relationship than men do. That might explain why women are more picky I guess.
Author uniqueone Posted November 10, 2007 Author Posted November 10, 2007 You know, I think I'd definately prefer a guy who's picky.... My male friend...the one who only requires that they be thin, attractive and nice...... He dated a woman for a year (up until recently) and I don't think he ever really knew her. They went out each week on a date but that's about it. He never really got to know her.....it was just "fun" to him. I think she figured it out and so it ended. There wasn't even any discussion when it ended. He just walked out when she didn't want to get all romantic with him one night because she wanted to talk about taking a trip in the future (which he refused to talk about) No words were said when it ended....after a YEAR long relationship! I think that when you don't require much as far as what you want in a person, you don't really invest much either.
Sean0775 Posted November 10, 2007 Posted November 10, 2007 You know Sean, come to think of it, I have met or talked to men that were pretty picky and it sounds like you're one of them too, so maybe it's just a pickiness issue. Which leads to the question....why are so many men not very picky? I read that the reason that women file for divorce more than men is because women want more out of a relationship than men do. That might explain why women are more picky I guess. I've been told I'm too picky on more than one occasion. My list has gotten shorter in recent weeks, but I still tend to lean away from certain types of women. I've gotten to where I don't even bother considering women who like the bar scene, as my not going will inevitably ruin any relationship that may happen. Unfortunately, in addition to being the picky type, I'm also the type that will get really angry should I see or hear about my girlfriend dancing with a random guy. Being that that's something I won't do, she's bound to go somewhere else to find it, so why bother? Cripes I'm in negative mode tonight...
squeak Posted November 10, 2007 Posted November 10, 2007 I had this impression that for every guy, there were soo many variations on these types: the party girl, the frat girl, the alterna girl, sporty girl, bookish girl, and everyone's favorite...the crazy girl.
Sean0775 Posted November 10, 2007 Posted November 10, 2007 I had this impression that for every guy, there were soo many variations on these types: the party girl, the frat girl, the alterna girl, sporty girl, bookish girl, and everyone's favorite...the crazy girl. Well, the pickiness factor tends to cleave a few possibilities in twain. Here's a few examples of deal breakers: -She has kids -She lives 100+ miles away -She bears resemblance to the Creature from the Black Lagoon -She's the party/frat girl
BeautifulMusic Posted November 10, 2007 Posted November 10, 2007 I've been told I'm too picky on more than one occasion. I think I'm pretty picky, too, and I don't know whether it's a good thing. I'd like to think it's a good thing in terms of knowing what I want, but it's hard to know if you're turning down what would be a good relationship over some preconceived notion. Being picky is part of the reason I haven't dated much in recent years, but I don't know if trying to be less picky would be lowering my standards...
Author uniqueone Posted November 10, 2007 Author Posted November 10, 2007 I've been told I'm too picky on more than one occasion. WHOA! Did I say you were TOO picky? No I did not! I said you were picky.....and it was a compliment! Good for you for being picky and good for you for ditching the women who like the bar scene. Don't let people make you feel like there's anything wrong for how you feel. My list has gotten shorter in recent weeks Why should it get shorter?
Author uniqueone Posted November 10, 2007 Author Posted November 10, 2007 I had this impression that for every guy, there were soo many variations on these types: the party girl, the frat girl, the alterna girl, sporty girl, bookish girl, and everyone's favorite...the crazy girl. Well I'm glad to know I'm their favorite!!!! :laugh:
Sean0775 Posted November 10, 2007 Posted November 10, 2007 Why should it get shorter? After running it by various people, we concluded that said list ruled out roughly 99% of the female population. There's picky in a good way, and there's asking the impossible.
BeautifulMusic Posted November 10, 2007 Posted November 10, 2007 After running it by various people, we concluded that said list ruled out roughly 99% of the female population. There's picky in a good way, and there's asking the impossible. I was watching a Seinfeld rerun the other night, and Jerry said 95% of the population is undatable... So maybe you're not too far off? haha
Author uniqueone Posted November 10, 2007 Author Posted November 10, 2007 Well, the pickiness factor tends to cleave a few possibilities in twain. Here's a few examples of deal breakers: -She has kids -She lives 100+ miles away -She bears resemblance to the Creature from the Black Lagoon -She's the party/frat girl Oh c'mon....we have to modify this a bit...... -She has kids and she's not sure where/who their fathers are -She lives 100+ miles away and doesn't choose "1" for "English" when placing phone calls -She bears resemblance to the Creature from the Black Lagoon (and that's WITH her makeup) -A frat initiation ritual's been named after her
Sean0775 Posted November 10, 2007 Posted November 10, 2007 I was watching a Seinfeld rerun the other night, and Jerry said 95% of the population is undatable... So maybe you're not too far off? haha Wise man that Jerry Seinfeld. That show brought up so many aspects of dating that were and still are completely true if you look at them. The Shrinkage and Independent George episodes hit the nail on the head pretty hard.
squeak Posted November 10, 2007 Posted November 10, 2007 I was watching a Seinfeld rerun the other night, and Jerry said 95% of the population is undatable... So maybe you're not too far off? haha So what are we coming up with here? Is the post title going to have to change? Is it possible us women are wrong? That dating is not easier for men? My boyfriend was really picky too, he was rejecting girl after girl, or dumping them too soon. But I could never figure out based on what criteria, except he explained it as "just a feeling something wasn't there" So maybe men are picky! Nahhhhhhh
Sean0775 Posted November 10, 2007 Posted November 10, 2007 Oh c'mon....we have to modify this a bit...... -She has kids and she's not sure where/who their fathers are -She lives 100+ miles away and doesn't choose "1" for "English" when placing phone calls -She bears resemblance to the Creature from the Black Lagoon (and that's WITH her makeup) -A frat initiation ritual's been named after her Your attitude is attractive beyond words, and yes I really mean that. Come to think of it, I've experienced all but the last situation in my adventures in dating. Something tells me I needed this list a lot sooner.
BeautifulMusic Posted November 10, 2007 Posted November 10, 2007 Haha, I forgot about Independent George... "Relationship George is killing Independent George!" I watched another one tonight where he said it's hard to know what women want because they're so subtle. He said men are obvious because they all want the same thing- women!
BeautifulMusic Posted November 10, 2007 Posted November 10, 2007 So what are we coming up with here? Is the post title going to have to change? Is it possible us women are wrong? That dating is not easier for men? My boyfriend was really picky too, he was rejecting girl after girl, or dumping them too soon. But I could never figure out based on what criteria, except he explained it as "just a feeling something wasn't there" So maybe men are picky! Nahhhhhhh If you think about Seinfeld though, they were always breaking up with the people they dated for completely arbitrary reasons. "She eats her peas one at a time- I've seen her eat corn niblets, but she scooped them!" (Haha, why do I know every line of this show?) So maybe some men are picky, but not in the sort of "relationship checklist" way many women are.
Recommended Posts