Ocean-Blue Posted November 12, 2007 Posted November 12, 2007 Ohh...not sure if you've considered this, but what about men with PhDs? Especially profs. Some of my profs from undergrad were the most interesting people I've ever met. Talk about hot.
MrsHellnoFire Posted November 12, 2007 Posted November 12, 2007 Well, unless she wants to settle down ALONE, I don't see anything other than this woman eventually lowering her standards by a few levels. She's not really at that age to be this picky. Her age is working against her and most of the decent men are taken. So eventually her desperation will grow great enough where she will settle (and the longer she waits, the greater the struggle to find that near perfection), or she will just settle with the idea of growing old alone and buy a few cats. There's a reason she is single. And no, I don't believe it's all because it's hard to find a man. I don't think men want all the drama, nit-picking, and personality/attitude accompanying and incorporating her slew of issues. Maybe she's creating this huge unattainable list to make herself feel less rejected in life and with men.
Ocean-Blue Posted November 12, 2007 Posted November 12, 2007 Well, unless she wants to settle down ALONE, I don't see anything other than this woman eventually lowering her standards by a few levels. She's not really at that age to be this picky. Her age is working against her and most of the decent men are taken. So eventually her desperation will grow great enough where she will settle (and the longer she waits, the greater the struggle to find that near perfection), or she will just settle with the idea of growing old alone and buy a few cats. There's a reason she is single. And no, I don't believe it's all because it's hard to find a man. I don't think men want all the drama, nit-picking, and personality/attitude accompanying and incorporating her slew of issues. Maybe she's creating this huge unattainable list to make herself feel less rejected in life and with men. It's interesting that you say this. Women get lambasted for being too picky while men don't. I don't necessarily buy the argument that the older you get, the less picky you should be. In fact, shouldn't it be that you SHOULD be pickier...after all, time and experience help you determine precisely what it is like that you like and what you can do without. Some people settle, others choose to continue seeking a particular kind of mate. Who is more likely to be happier? We can't say conclusively either way, can we?
MrsHellnoFire Posted November 12, 2007 Posted November 12, 2007 Ok....another example of intelligent but emotionally ****** up..... Some guy was writing me and he's not really a genius but he's travelled all over the world, pilot's his own plane, has travelled to some country to take pictures at 4 am of some lunar event that only happens once in a lifetime.....stuff like that. He sounds like kind of an Indiana Jones type. So he asks for my regular email address and then he emails me some pictures he took of space....nothing more. With the funk I've been in lately I didn't respond. Besides, what am I supposed to respond with? "Uh...nice pictures of the sky......" So I get this email now that says: I sent you two of my photos 4 days ago. I don't email my photos to just anyone. They are special to me, although they certainly may have zero meaning to you. Just a thank you would have been nice. Sheesh...what does he expect? I mean....how about "hey...tell me more about yourself....?" NOT "here's two pictures I took of outer space. So now I'm thinking....wow....he got offended because I didn't respond to his pictures of outer space? I'm starting to picture him revving up a Delorean that he's converted into a time machine........ You don't seem too sensitive towards other peoples feelings.... you ignore people and just disciminate down to a toothpick on what you want out of a man with no concern for their feelings. Maybe your emotional iq is low? The problem is that you seek men whom you have absolutely NOTHING in common with. Your life is an overall bore and why socialize or try to date people out of your sphere? Stick with the boring "book smarts" cpa types who worry about going to the gym after a common 8 hour work load. Maybe a plastic surgeon would suit you? They probably have their own bods down to perfection.
MrsHellnoFire Posted November 12, 2007 Posted November 12, 2007 It's interesting that you say this. Women get lambasted for being too picky while men don't. I don't necessarily buy the argument that the older you get, the less picky you should be. In fact, shouldn't it be that you SHOULD be pickier...after all, time and experience help you determine precisely what it is like that you like and what you can do without. Some people settle, others choose to continue seeking a particular kind of mate. Who is more likely to be happier? We can't say conclusively either way, can we? That's the problem with women. Their criteria does narrow as they age, when it should actually widen when the dating pool is shallower. That explains being in one's 40s with nobody in their life. It's a trade-off. Perfection is not realistic.
Ocean-Blue Posted November 12, 2007 Posted November 12, 2007 That's the problem with women. Their criteria does narrow as they age, when they should actually widen. That explains being in one's 40s with nobody in their life. It's a trade-off. Perfection is not realistic. "Perfection is not realistic" - yes I agree. What I said above is not about finding the perfect mate...rather, it's about finding someone with whom you can build a life (based on some criteria or list) - a list you've refined over the years (through experience and time).
MrsHellnoFire Posted November 12, 2007 Posted November 12, 2007 And you've read her criteria and find it realistic? She doesn't give men a chance.. she's too superficial to do so.
Ocean-Blue Posted November 12, 2007 Posted November 12, 2007 And you've read her criteria and find it realistic? She doesn't give men a chance.. she's too superficial to do so. I don't know unique as a person - I don't think a posters posts necessarily provide an accurate description of who they are in RL. I was speaking in general terms anyway. I am in my mid 20s and thus have less experience than someone in her 40s regarding dating... But based on my experience, I can tell you that I am now much pickier in terms of who I will "date" (though I don't do much of it) than I was when I was in my teens. I figured it only "makes sense" that I would continue in this vein...should I be single as I age, I'd be likely to be pickier with a specific list. Maybe I'm naive.
MrsHellnoFire Posted November 12, 2007 Posted November 12, 2007 I don't know unique as a person - I don't think a posters posts necessarily provide an accurate description of who they are in RL. I was speaking in general terms anyway. I am in my mid 20s and thus have less experience than someone in her 40s regarding dating... But based on my experience, I can tell you that I am now much pickier in terms of who I will "date" (though I don't do much of it) than I was when I was in my teens. I figured it only "makes sense" that I would continue in this vein...should I be single as I age, I'd be likely to be pickier with a specific list. Maybe I'm naive. Yes.. that's pretty accurate.. many women get pickier.. but there is a difference between a conservative realistic set of standards and something that makes her look like a person from Stepford.
Ocean-Blue Posted November 12, 2007 Posted November 12, 2007 Yes.. that's pretty accurate.. many women get pickier.. but there is a difference between a conservative realistic set of standards and something that makes her look like a person from Stepford. I see your point.
Phateless Posted November 12, 2007 Posted November 12, 2007 I think her criteria are not unreasonable, but she must recognize that they are quite a lot to ask all together. The point about the scope of possible candidates growing smaller as time goes on is very true, and when you apply the list, well... the odds drop significantly. I am honestly puzzled that she did not see fit to respond to my suggestion about doing the approaching instead of relying solely on being approached. That seriously hurt her credibility in my eyes. Think about it... if SHE'S doing the approaching, SHE'S controlling who she talks to. What guarantee does she have that her ideal man will approach her? In addition to that long list of criteria, we should add "-the man must approach her." No, this is not a personal attack, I'm merely trying to point out that if UniqeOne starts taking some of the burden of approaching upon herself, she might easily double her odds by doubling her opportunities. I am honestly just trying to be helpful here.
Trialbyfire Posted November 12, 2007 Posted November 12, 2007 That's the problem with women. Their criteria does narrow as they age, when it should actually widen when the dating pool is shallower. I disagree. Why put up with something or someone with traits you know you won't find acceptable? The older you get, the more you realize what traits you find appealing and compatible. Being alone isn't the worst thing in life...by far. Being trapped in an unhappy relationship with someone is a far worse fate. That explains being in one's 40s with nobody in their life. It's got nothing to do with being selective. It has to do with finding a mirror image of herself, interests, everything. Notice that she's not interested in hearing about anything...eg. the photographer that was referenced. It's a trade-off. Perfection is not realistic. I disagree with the trade-off aspect but do agree that perfection is not realistic.
DutchGuy Posted November 12, 2007 Posted November 12, 2007 The Netherlands... http://www.iqcomparisonsite.com/NationalIQs.aspx
pollywag Posted November 12, 2007 Posted November 12, 2007 The Netherlands... Apparently not only are Dutch men the smartest, but boy oh boy they are deffinitely the hottest. Some of the finest looking men I've seen in my travels....sigghhhhhh memories of Holland....
squeak Posted November 12, 2007 Posted November 12, 2007 Apparently not only are Dutch men the smartest, but boy oh boy they are deffinitely the hottest. Some of the finest looking men I've seen in my travels....sigghhhhhh memories of Holland.... In addition to this IQ graph-I read in a seperate study that there is a correlation between light hair/eye and being more reticent/introverted more so than other darker haired genetic traits..... Did you find that to be true in your observations? I could never figure out if that study was true-haven't been there.
Alexandra Posted November 12, 2007 Posted November 12, 2007 The Netherlands... http://www.iqcomparisonsite.com/NationalIQs.aspx That test is from 1981. I'm afraid things changed..... http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/IQ_and_the_Wealth_of_Nations#National_IQ_estimates
pollywag Posted November 12, 2007 Posted November 12, 2007 In addition to this IQ graph-I read in a seperate study that there is a correlation between light hair/eye and being more reticent/introverted more so than other darker haired genetic traits..... Did you find that to be true in your observations? I could never figure out if that study was true-haven't been there. I'm not sure about that theory that's interesting.... But if that was in reference to the men in Holland all being light haired and light eyed, au contraire mon frere. Unlike other nordic countries in Europe such as Finland or Sweden I did not see an over abundance in blond blue eyed people, it was the mixes of dark and light skinned people that produced such beautiful people as I saw in Holland. Maybe that was just my experience...?
DutchGuy Posted November 12, 2007 Posted November 12, 2007 That test is from 1981. I'm afraid things changed..... http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/IQ_and_the_Wealth_of_Nations#National_IQ_estimates We have had a lot of immigration from Turkey and Marocco. Ah, still highly ranked.
DutchGuy Posted November 12, 2007 Posted November 12, 2007 I'm not sure about that theory that's interesting.... But if that was in reference to the men in Holland all being light haired and light eyed, au contraire mon frere. Unlike other nordic countries in Europe such as Finland or Sweden I did not see an over abundance in blond blue eyed people, it was the mixes of dark and light skinned people that produced such beautiful people as I saw in Holland. Maybe that was just my experience...? yellow - 80% blond orange - 50-79% light brown - 20-49% dark brown - 0-19% black - 0% amongst natives For the record, Holland lies within the light brown area.
Alexandra Posted November 12, 2007 Posted November 12, 2007 We have had a lot of immigration from Turkey and Marocco. Ah you ARE smart afterall!
pollywag Posted November 12, 2007 Posted November 12, 2007 That test is from 1981. I'm afraid things changed..... http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/IQ_and_the_Wealth_of_Nations#National_IQ_estimates Yeah but that's Wiki report, you realise wiki reports are not official they are created by common people? The dead giveaway also that the report is inaccurate is that it says the US ranks higher than Canada in IQ, that can't possibly be true :laugh:
pollywag Posted November 12, 2007 Posted November 12, 2007 yellow - 80% blond orange - 50-79% light brown - 20-49% dark brown - 0-19% black - 0% amongst natives For the record, Holland lies within the light brown area. That's what I'm talking about...I saw a lot of yummy light brown and medium brown!
Alexandra Posted November 12, 2007 Posted November 12, 2007 Yeah but that's Wiki report, you realise wiki reports are not official they are created by common people? Really? And meeting guys over the internet can be dangerous! Forgive me, just recaping all the pieces of new info I gathered in this thread. Tee hee. Kind nun like yourself wouldn't report me for a nearly sarcastic joke, would she?
pollywag Posted November 12, 2007 Posted November 12, 2007 Really? And meeting guys over the internet can be dangerous! Forgive me, just recaping all the pieces of new info I gathered in this thread. Tee hee. Kind nun like yourself wouldn't report me for a nearly sarcastic joke, would she? Nahhh I roll with the punches, I used to walk the streets remember? before I became a nun...I can take it but I can also dish it out. I won't now though it's too early in the day You didn't know Wikipedia was published by commonors? you can do an entry on wiki if you like, so can I. Did I ever say meeting guys over the internet is not safe or was that in reference to someone else's comments? stick with me kid you'll learn a lot of useless crap to clutter your brain
cpatt Posted November 12, 2007 Posted November 12, 2007 Last time I met an interesting girl was because I was studying a little German, just for fun, and I left the German-English dictionary out on the coffee shop table. Turned out she spoke it fluently and went to this occasional meet up with a couple of friends just for the purpose of speaking German. After seeing her a few times I was invited to come along and had a good time. Of course it doesn't have to be a language, there are lots of hobbies you can do at a coffee shop. A few months ago I met a girl at Starbucks who was doing some cross-stitching there every week. There's a quote I heard once that I like. "Interesting people go to interesting places". So if you like books, go to a book store, if you like tech stuff hang out at Best Buy or something. Book stores are great though because anything you could be interested in is there and in the big chains like Borders and Barnes & Noble if you do meet someone you could invite him to sit down and have coffee right on the spot. Great suggestion, I was going to suggest that you take a class that you have an interest in. That way you will meet others who share that interest.
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