Where to Meet Intelligent Men

[uniqueone]

 

On a serious note, to meet an intelligent man, I would recommend finding a hobby that you enjoy and seeing if you strike up a friendship with someone who shares the same interests as you do.

 

Perhaps I'm a bit idealistic in my old age, but I believe that we can attract the type of person that we project we are (i.e. if you are funny, easy going, intelligent, giving, caring, etc. then a person of the opposite sex that also shares those attributes will notice you and be attracted to you). Just my thoughts anyway.

 

 

Well those who are similar can only be attracted IF they exist in my location. First of all they have to be single, then they have to have those similarities to me. Not many in my area have those similarities. I have talked to guys online in other cities that I mesh better with. But where I live? HA!

 

Here, they're into camping, fishing, hunting and watching sports. There aren't intellectuals and they don't stay in shape.

 

And please don't say to move because I can't just put my finger on the map and pick a place and hope that I picked the right area, can find a decent job, etc..... It's not that easy.

 

Fortunately though, through the personals you can "meet" people in other cities.

[uniqueone]

 

- bookstore (especially ones that let you sit down and read the books without having to purchase them)

 

As I mentioned earlier, please tell me how you meet someone and make a date this way.

 

- hospitals (I personally cannot resist surgeons, they are just too hot)

 

 

NO WAY! NO FRIGGIN WAY! WARNING: RECENT BAD EXPERIENCE!

 

I want NOTHING TO DO WITH THIS PROFESSION based upon my experience and from what many who work with those in this profession have told me about them.

 

- court (there are some mighty fine lawyers around - tall, dark and handsome!)

 

To be honest, I don't have a high opinion of this profession either (for several reasons) although I do still talk to the ones who contact me and I would still consider them. There are plenty of them on the personals btw. No need to go to a courtroom and I don't think they'd approach a woman there for a date.

[squeak]

I want NOTHING TO DO WITH THIS PROFESSION based upon my experience and from what many who work with those in this profession have told me about them.

 

 

Care to share? Or just summarize? Sounds like a pretty bad experience, whatever it was.....

[Stereogram]

Well those who are similar can only be attracted IF they exist in my location. First of all they have to be single, then they have to have those similarities to me. Not many in my area have those similarities. I have talked to guys online in other cities that I mesh better with. But where I live? HA!

 

Here, they're into camping, fishing, hunting and watching sports. There aren't intellectuals and they don't stay in shape.

 

And please don't say to move because I can't just put my finger on the map and pick a place and hope that I picked the right area, can find a decent job, etc..... It's not that easy.

 

Fortunately though, through the personals you can "meet" people in other cities.

 

OK...I better interject. You won't find many people at age 38 (your age) that are in excellent physical shape. Actually, you can't find many people these days who are 28 and look good.

 

It's one of the things I kind of worry about. Face it, us guys want to be visually stimulated and it's such a shock when you started noticing the physical changes in our age bracket. I'm pretty sure some women feel the same way as well.

[uniqueone]

Care to share? Or just summarize? Sounds like a pretty bad experience, whatever it was.....

 

 

Just look for my threads on LS...they'd either be under dating or coping ....something like that......

 

I don't care to discuss it as I'm trying to forget.

[Ocean-Blue]

As I mentioned earlier, please tell me how you meet someone and make a date this way.

 

 

 

NO WAY! NO FRIGGIN WAY! WARNING: RECENT BAD EXPERIENCE!

 

I want NOTHING TO DO WITH THIS PROFESSION based upon my experience and from what many who work with those in this profession have told me about them.

 

 

 

To be honest, I don't have a high opinion of this profession either (for several reasons) although I do still talk to the ones who contact me and I would still consider them. There are plenty of them on the personals btw. No need to go to a courtroom and I don't think they'd approach a woman there for a date.

 

Most of what I wrote was tongue-in-cheek...but the bookstore suggestion was a sincere one.

 

In many of posts you repeat how much you like intelligent men who can carry a conversation. The bookstore is an ideal place to gauge a man's conversational skills (and his knowledge on certain topics). If you visit a chain like Chapters (not sure if you have them where you're from), you can usually find people perusing through books. Gives you an idea of the guy based on some of his reading material. You could always strike up a conversation there (especially if he's holding a novel that you've just read or want to read).

 

It's simple really. Go to places that YOU enjoy going to. You are more likely to find a like-minded man there. He'll share similar interests and the conversation is more likely to flow.

[uniqueone]

OK...I better interject. You won't find many people at age 38 (your age) that are in excellent physical shape. Actually, you can't find many people these days who are 28 and look good.

 

It's one of the things I kind of worry about. Face it, us guys want to be visually stimulated and it's such a shock when you started noticing the physical changes in our age bracket. I'm pretty sure some women feel the same way as well.

 

 

I'm not 38. I just said to add 10 years because then you'd be CLOSER to my age. I'm older than that.

And I don't want this to sound bragging because it's not but I'm close to excellent physical shape...size 2 and solid muscle. I just want you to know that us "older folks" can actually look good still.

 

AND....I've dated some unbelieveable fit guys who were OLDER than me. 4 years ago the guy I dated could bench a couple hundred pounds. He had pecs and a six pack. He was 46 at the time.

 

That's just one example....I could give more but don't want to fill up the page with that. Most of the guys I date have 32 inch waists.

 

 

On the other hand.....I DO notice MANY guys that are younger who aren't in very good shape. That's not news though. It's common knowledge that todays kids don't look like yesterdays kids and that that's been happening over the last generation or two.

 

I do agree that some people let themselves go as they age. I can tell you though that I've actually IMPROVED and the guys that I've dated have been extremely fit and athletic and were in their forties.

 

With YOUR age group, however, I think it's going to be very difficult to keep in shape as you get older because a lot of you didn't grow up keeping fit like those from my generation did.

 

Please don't take that as a slam....it's not meant as one. It's just that society changed and computers and tv (amongst other things) made people more sedentary.

[Philbert]

Last time I met an interesting girl was because I was studying a little German, just for fun, and I left the German-English dictionary out on the coffee shop table. Turned out she spoke it fluently and went to this occasional meet up with a couple of friends just for the purpose of speaking German. After seeing her a few times I was invited to come along and had a good time.

 

Of course it doesn't have to be a language, there are lots of hobbies you can do at a coffee shop. A few months ago I met a girl at Starbucks who was doing some cross-stitching there every week.

 

There's a quote I heard once that I like. "Interesting people go to interesting places". So if you like books, go to a book store, if you like tech stuff hang out at Best Buy or something. Book stores are great though because anything you could be interested in is there and in the big chains like Borders and Barnes & Noble if you do meet someone you could invite him to sit down and have coffee right on the spot.

[Sean0775]

On the other hand.....I DO notice MANY guys that are younger who aren't in very good shape. That's not news though. It's common knowledge that todays kids don't look like yesterdays kids.

*snip*

With YOUR age group, however, I think it's going to be very difficult to keep in shape as you get older because a lot of you didn't grow up keeping fit like those from my generation did.

 

Please don't take that as a slam....it's not meant as one. It's just that society changed and computers and tv (amongst other things) made people more sedentary.

It's true...I'm 24, not fat but not thin, don't have a 6 pack and never will, lack the attention span to work out without being repeatedly kicked in the ass, and indulge in life's pleasures way too much (alcohol, good food, etc). My Mom tells me to join a health club because it would be a good way to meet women, but I fail to see how that would work since most women can tell when you have an ulterior motive like that. That and I work 3rd shift, so there would never be time.

[uniqueone]

Most of what I wrote was tongue-in-cheek...but the bookstore suggestion was a sincere one.

 

In many of posts you repeat how much you like intelligent men who can carry a conversation. The bookstore is an ideal place to gauge a man's conversational skills (and his knowledge on certain topics). If you visit a chain like Chapters (not sure if you have them where you're from), you can usually find people perusing through books. Gives you an idea of the guy based on some of his reading material. You could always strike up a conversation there (especially if he's holding a novel that you've just read or want to read).

 

It's simple really. Go to places that YOU enjoy going to. You are more likely to find a like-minded man there. He'll share similar interests and the conversation is more likely to flow.

 

I'd rather they strike up a conversation with ME. After a lot of experience with this, I believe that if a guy is interested, he'll approach me. How many times have we heard that here on LS? If a guy is interested in a woman nothing will stop him?

 

I won't go after a guy. Besides it wouldn't make me feel good to. I have to know that they are pursuing ME.

 

And yes I've had guys talk to me when browsing in places like that and other places as well....but here's the thing.....

 

1. With the ones truly interested....it's never someone that I'm attracted to

2. With the ones that are kind of attractive.....they're just making small talk and even when I give them plenty of ways they can take things further, they don't. (most likely married and were just looking for an ego boost).

[uniqueone]

It's true...I'm 24, not fat but not thin, don't have a 6 pack and never will, lack the attention span to work out without being repeatedly kicked in the ass, and indulge in life's pleasures way too much (alcohol, good food, etc). My Mom tells me to join a health club because it would be a good way to meet women, but I fail to see how that would work since most women can tell when you have an ulterior motive like that. That and I work 3rd shift, so there would never be time.

 

I thought you said you were 28?

 

Saying you'll never have a six pack......not very motivated.

 

3rd shift no time.....I have a home gym. Can't say you can't make time when it's right there in front of you, can you?

 

[Ocean-Blue]

I'd rather they strike up a conversation with ME. After a lot of experience with this, I believe that if a guy is interested, he'll approach me. How many times have we heard that here on LS? If a guy is interested in a woman nothing will stop him?

 

I won't go after a guy. Besides it wouldn't make me feel good to. I have to know that they are pursuing ME.

 

And yes I've had guys talk to me when browsing in places like that and other places as well....but here's the thing.....

 

1. With the ones truly interested....it's never someone that I'm attracted to

2. With the ones that are kind of attractive.....they're just making small talk and even when I give them plenty of ways they can take things further, they don't. (most likely married and were just looking for an ego boost).

 

I totally hear you on not wanting to approach a guy you just met. But surely, placing yourself in such a place (where you two are going through the same set of books) can help in getting HIM to approach you.

 

My point is that you should go to places that you enjoy. If you're a reader, go to a bookstore. If you love cooking, a cooking class. You are more likely to meet met who share similar interests...and because it is such a specific sort of event/class/place, he'll be more inclined to start up a conversation with you.

[uniqueone]

Last time I met an interesting girl was because I was studying a little German, just for fun, and I left the German-English dictionary out on the coffee shop table. Turned out she spoke it fluently and went to this occasional meet up with a couple of friends just for the purpose of speaking German. After seeing her a few times I was invited to come along and had a good time.

 

Of course it doesn't have to be a language, there are lots of hobbies you can do at a coffee shop. A few months ago I met a girl at Starbucks who was doing some cross-stitching there every week.

 

There's a quote I heard once that I like. "Interesting people go to interesting places". So if you like books, go to a book store, if you like tech stuff hang out at Best Buy or something. Book stores are great though because anything you could be interested in is there and in the big chains like Borders and Barnes & Noble if you do meet someone you could invite him to sit down and have coffee right on the spot.

 

And you notice how you said "every week"? You have to be a regular at places in order to meet people.

 

I know this will sound like an excuse so I don't want to say it because people will get all ticked off at me......but I don't have the time to sit around Borders or someplace like that on a regular basis. I'm usually doing 50 things at once. I'm NEVER just sitting around. Who's got time for that?

 

HOWEVER, I WAS a regular a the trail I used to use but of course NOW I can't use it anymore......

[uniqueone]

I totally hear you on not wanting to approach a guy you just met. But surely, placing yourself in such a place (where you two are going through the same set of books) can help in getting HIM to approach you.

 

My point is that you should go to places that you enjoy. If you're a reader, go to a bookstore. If you love cooking, a cooking class. You are more likely to meet met who share similar interests...and because it is such a specific sort of event/class/place, he'll be more inclined to start up a conversation with you.

 

 

I HAD a place but can't go there anymore.

[Sean0775]

I thought you said you were 28?

 

Saying you'll never have a six pack......not very motivated.

 

3rd shift no time.....I have a home gym. Can't say you can't make time when it's right there in front of you, can you?

 

Nope, though I wish I was in a way so I wouldn't get the auto-ignore from the late 20s early 30s age group. Motivation is an issue...and I'm not really working on it at the moment. I don't know, I've never really had the desire to have a 6 pack since I got out of high school. As for a home gym, I'm not sure that would do any good. I know more than a few people with exercise equipment that gathers dust, and it's going to be enough of a nightmare moving my couch out of this apartment when that day eventually comes.

[uniqueone]

Nope, though I wish I was in a way so I wouldn't get the auto-ignore from the late 20s early 30s age group. Motivation is an issue...and I'm not really working on it at the moment. I don't know, I've never really had the desire to have a 6 pack since I got out of high school.

 

The six pack....who cares about that. I only mentioned it to get the message across about fitness in general. Personally I don't care one bit about pecs or a six pack....it's the overall fitness that matters.

 

As for a home gym, I'm not sure that would do any good. I know more than a few people with exercise equipment that gathers dust, and it's going to be enough of a nightmare moving my couch out of this apartment when that day eventually comes.

 

Now this sounds like the most sorry list of excuses I've heard in a long time.

Ok, so you know people whose exercise equipment gathers dust. Do you have to be one of them? Are you a lemming?

 

I can tell you that MY exercise equipment gets used quite a bit....that's why I buy the good stuff. I used to belong to gyms but they cost a lot, you have to deal with crowds and wait for equipment and you have to deal with it being closed on holidays, closed early on weekends, etc...

 

So I decided to get my own and I paid enough for it but it pays for itself over time.

 

The people that let their equipment gather dust....they're not self motivated. You have to GET self motivated.

 

And don't tell me about trying to fit equipment into your apartment. They have nice foldup treadmillls and exercise bikes don't always take up much room either.

[uniqueone]

Nope, though I wish I was in a way so I wouldn't get the auto-ignore from the late 20s early 30s age group. Motivation is an issue...and I'm not really working on it at the moment. I don't know, I've never really had the desire to have a 6 pack since I got out of high school. As for a home gym, I'm not sure that would do any good. I know more than a few people with exercise equipment that gathers dust, and it's going to be enough of a nightmare moving my couch out of this apartment when that day eventually comes.

 

 

Btw, I don't understand what you mean by getting the auto ignore.

[Ariadne]

As they say:

 

Men are like parking spots, all the good ones are taken.

 

I've found that the be the most true at an older age.

 

I remember when I started working in my previous job, most of the guys were engineers and physicists. I was excited that finally I was going to meet some nice smart guy. Big company and all.

 

Well, do you guys think there was a single guy in that company that was single and available? Not a single one. Everyone was married or in serious relationships.

 

The only guys that I've found over 40 single and available are disasters.

 

Well, I guess some people get lucky and actually find something good.

 

I'm sure they are out there, just a million times harder to find.

 

And if you want "the whole package" well, good luck.

 

Ariadne

[Ocean-Blue]

Unique, here's a question for you.

 

Is it possible that you like being single (and therefore find reasons not to date men...by reasoning that they don't fit your criteria?). I'm just curious.

[Ocean-Blue]

As they say:

 

Men are like parking spots, all the good ones are taken.

 

I've found that the be the most true at an older age.

 

I remember when I started working in my previous job, most of the guys were engineers and physicists. I was excited that finally I was going to meet some nice smart guy. Big company and all.

 

Well, do you guys think there was a single guy in that company that was single and available? Not a single one. Everyone was married or in serious relationships.

 

The only guys that I've found over 40 single and available are disasters.

 

Well, I guess some people get lucky and actually find something good.

 

I'm sure they are out there, just a million times harder to find.

 

And if you want "the whole package" well, good luck.

 

Ariadne

 

Sad but true Ariadne. The older one gets, the fewer parking spots there are.

[Sean0775]

Btw, I don't understand what you mean by getting the auto ignore.

It's kind of like them not wanting the Mrs. Robinson feeling on a different scale. You see people specify age ranges that they'd date in, and 24 tends to fall in 18-25...which is a terrible place to be. Now I admit I can be excessively negative about my age group, but the stigma that the entire age group is immature, never want anything serious, etc makes itself known in other age groups. Aside from dating a woman who was 34 (and she threw herself at me...), I've never once had any luck outside the 18-25 age group. I really can't hold it against people, as most folks want someone their own age and I don't even want to be around most of the 18-25 crowd, but it gets a little old.

 

And I'll concede on the sorry list of excuses...motivation is an issue in that department, as working out is the last thing I feel like doing before and after work.

[uniqueone]

It's kind of like them not wanting the Mrs. Robinson feeling on a different scale. You see people specify age ranges that they'd date in, and 24 tends to fall in 18-25...which is a terrible place to be. Now I admit I can be excessively negative about my age group, but the stigma that the entire age group is immature, never want anything serious, etc makes itself known in other age groups. Aside from dating a woman who was 34 (and she threw herself at me...), I've never once had any luck outside the 18-25 age group. I really can't hold it against people, as most folks want someone their own age and I don't even want to be around most of the 18-25 crowd, but it gets a little old.

 

Huh...I've met all ages. Doesn't mean I'm interested in dating all ages but I've met them if they've interested me. Of course you're dealing there with women in the age group (25-34) that want to get married so they sort of have an agenda so that could be why they rule you out.

 

 

And I'll concede on the sorry list of excuses...motivation is an issue in that department, as working out is the last thing I feel like doing before and after work.

 

That's really lame.

[uniqueone]

Unique, here's a question for you.

 

Is it possible that you like being single (and therefore find reasons not to date men...by reasoning that they don't fit your criteria?). I'm just curious.

 

 

No. I've found several that fit my criteria. They seem to always be the type that are jerks though of some sort. I could give examples if you'd like.

 

If I could find one like them that WASN'T a jerk, that'd be great!

 

But I have met several who were extremely intelligent, successful, athletic, funny, etc..... but either had a mean side or couldn't commit enough to tie their shoe, or had alcohol issues.....or had cheated on their ex.....or had weird sexual fetishes.....or were textbook narcissists.....

 

There are plenty of examples but they DID have the qualities I was looking for.

 

Something's screwy with that......

[Ocean-Blue]

No. I've found several that fit my criteria. They seem to always be the type that are jerks though of some sort. I could give examples if you'd like.

 

If I could find one like them that WASN'T a jerk, that'd be great!

 

But I have met several who were extremely intelligent, successful, athletic, funny, etc..... but either had a mean side or couldn't commit enough to tie their shoe, or had alcohol issues.....or had cheated on their ex.....or had weird sexual fetishes.....or were textbook narcissists.....

 

There are plenty of examples but they DID have the qualities I was looking for.

 

Something's screwy with that......

 

OK, so once these men pass the threshold test, they fail at stage two, eh? That sucks!

 

I don't know how else to respond to that. That really does sound "bah".

[uniqueone]

Sad but true Ariadne. The older one gets, the fewer parking spots there are.

 

 

Not really. Check the divorce rate.

 

Those parking spots are METERED parking spots......